I was talking the other day to a high school teacher about fights. She said that she’s broken up some fights between boys, but never between two girls. If girls get to the point where they’re hitting each other, they’re not going to stop if you try to intervene.

I’ve never gotten in a fight, and I think they’re pretty silly in general. Hormones, adrenaline, and fisticuffs don’t make for productive solutions.

I’m not sure what made me think of this, but I had a random idea that could make high schools–and the world–much better places. What if fighting were allowed in any environment at any time, but there’s only one way you could do it:

Tickle fights.

That’s right. If someone is really bothering you at school, instead of throwing a punch at them, you tickle them and they tickle you. People circle around you chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” while the two of you roll on the ground, screaming with laughter, tears rolling down your faces.

At the end of the tickle fight, you’d walk away feeling so much better. I think it’s really hard to laugh and not feel better afterwards. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I call one of my funniest friends and chat for a bit. I always feel uplifted afterwards.

Extrapolate tickle fights to tickle wars. What if the war in Iraq had been fought with tickles instead of guns? We’d be best friends with the insurgents by now! And eventually someone would tap out. There’s only so long you can last during an all-out tickle onslaught.

This idea makes me want David Fincher to film Fight Club 2: Tickle Fights. It would be amazing.

Daily Quickie: Check out my previous solution for obesity, energy, and unemployment.