I had my first contact with these insipid creatures while living at my old apartment. My roommate had bought some potatoes and forgotten about them, so one day I reached into the back of the pantry and was about to pull them out…when I realized that the potatoes were reaching back at me.
This freaked me out. I had never seen this before, and I refused to touch them. My roommate later threw them away, proclaiming that it wasn’t a big deal. But it was a big deal. What kind of a vegetable wants to grow arms and pluck you from the ground? That’s just creepy.
You may think I’m blowing this out of proportion, but mark my words. One day you’re going to turn on CNN to see a fully-grown potato with all sorts of limbs sprouting from his rotund body. Handcuffs around two of his “eyes,” smoking a cigarette with another one, he’ll be asked by a reporter why he forced his human roommate into the microwave and turned it on high.
“It was either him or me,” the spud will respond. “No skin off my back.”
(Potatoes are quick with a pun.)
Along the same lines of potato eyes is mold. Mold really freaks me out, particularly when I’m about to eat something that’s moldy (cheese, sour cream, salsa, bread, etc.) or have just eaten something moldy. It’s just that mold looks so otherworldly. Check out this fine delicacy that was extracted from my old company’s fridge a month ago:
So there you have it, my two greatest fears: Potato eyes and mold. They will be my undoing.
You are apparently my soul mate. I noticed someone typed in “fear of potato eyes” into google to get to my blog so I typed it in myself. Until now, I thought I was alone in this fear.
Oh no, you’re not alone in this fear. I’ve never seen you at the SEP (Spud Eye Phobia) convention–maybe I’ll see you in Tampa this year.
My g/f is terrified of the eyes and even more so once they become long roots… She runs screaming! She says they’re like creatures… There should be a name for it.
Yep. At some point I coined the phrase “spudopticaphobia.” That’s the term I’ve been using. It’s horrifying.
I’m so happy that there are other people with this fear! My family and friends think I’m insane and a weirdo for thinking that potato eyes are so gross, but now I know I’m not alone (ugh, who else is just getting the heebee-jeebees just thinking about them?!)
Oh, major heebee-jeebees. I think people without spudopticaphobia think it’s just a big joke. It’s not. It’s not funny when people put potatoes with eyes on my desk at work (but they think it is!) They’re the creepiest thing ever.
Wow i’m surprised Jamey. I love the spuds with tentacles. I love to put the potatoe in half a cup of water and i like to see it sprout. That’s what it’s called btw…sprouting…you know the same thing that beans do when you put them in dirt. Yep…go figure. Something that is organic and a plant actually grows. It’s also like when a person dies their nails and hair continue to grow. Same difference.
As for the mold…..not scared of it either. Grossed out maybe, but not scared. I like that nature has a way of telling us when something is bad to eat…thus mold. Bacteria have feelings too y’know…lol. Just kidding. I don’t mean to mock….much.
Correction…I should have said fungus and not bacteria. I don’t think they are one in the same.
Those eyes haunt my dreams, Dionne. They haunt my dreams.
[...] this a common fear? Or are spudopticaphobia and dinner-roll-open-ophobia more [...]
[...] you share this fear? How about my other greatest fears: spudopticaphobia, dinner-roll-open-ophobia, and [...]
ahh im so happy! other people are afraid of these! they always make me cry and my hearts sinks and there just… awful. hate it hate it hate it. its like watching a potato give birth or something… its growing!! its like a disease! like ringworm of potatos!! ahhhh!!
I also used to think I was the only one, until I wrote this blog entry. “Like watching a potato give birth”…to evil.
Have you seen my other greatest fears? Maybe there are some other matches: http://jameystegmaier.com/humor-2/superlatives/ (scroll down)
Oh my gollies. I hate potatoes with eyes or roots. My mother told me to throw out her potatoes when I was a teenager and my friend was over and I opened the cupboard and screamed and cried like a baby infront of my friend and backed up because that is how terrified I am of them. Ahh just thinking of them creaps me out I was searching the net to figure out the correct name for the phobia when I came across this
I’m amazed and how many people share this phobia. I have the same reaction when I see potato eyes…man they’re creepy.
Hi, I told a friend in work today that I have a fear of potato sprouts (eyes) she just laughed at me and called me a weirdo! I had the same thing. Went into the cupboard and felt the sprouts, my mouth filled up with water and I was nearly sick. I now can’t look at them and have to have someone remove the potatos with them on. I’m so glad I aint the only one. I was also googling to see if this is a actual documented phobia. Spudopticaphobia will do for me!
I’m not sure if any real studies have been done on spudopticaphobia, but based on the response to this entry, there are plenty of other people out there like you!
OH MY GOSH!! I am sooooo scared of them too! I seriously get the heebie jeebies and shivers!! My mom used to let them get like 3-4 feet long before she would remember she had them and generally I would find them…I seriously almost pass out! Cant handle it!!
3-4 feet long?! Yeah, I’m not going to sleep tonight.
I thought I was completely alone in this fear. Im so relieved to find other people with a similar phobia. My friends actually laugh in my face when I tell them but im am sincerely freaked out by potato eyes. It all started with a bizarre dream when I was 4 or 5. It involved the sprouts wrapping themselves around me. It absolutely terrorized my and I’ve avoided raw potatoes ever since. Just recently, my grandmother pulled out a potato with sprouts and I just burst into tears.. scared the life out of me. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one
That is a terrifying dream! I have to admit that I’m pleasantly surprised at the number of people who share this fear.
Oh my god, I’m so glad I found out I’m not alone in this horrible fear.
I’ve hated those potatoes for as long as I can remember. Every time I see even the smallest little eye I run away and start crying!
My family thinks I’m crazy for it but they still never ask me to get the potatoes from the cupboard or anything
Wow, I thought I was alone in this fear but it seems there are many others who share this. My whole family knows about my fear and they constantly try to trick me by setting one on the tv remote or something like that. Two years ago for christmas I got a present from my aunt and when i opened it up, it was a potato with huuuuuge spindly eyes that were about 6 inches long. I think my fear started because I’m terrified of worms, and one day my mother had the nerve to say that they looked like white disgusting worms crawling their way out of a potato. I haven’t been the same since. Recently, my mother thought it would be funny to demonstrate my fear to my new boyfriend and so she shoved one at me and I screamed and ran away and hid in a corner, shaking and crying. This is a sincere problem.
I’m horrified of sprouting potatoes. Not many other ordinary things bother me like this. It just seems so unnatural how a potato in a dark pantry can sprout large growths. I just don’t understand. I was searching if others shared this fear and the pictures on sites were making me anxious and sick feeling.
I share your fear of potato eyes. They are terrifying! My mother always makes me peel the potatoes for her, but if I see a single sprout, I will avoid the pantry for weeks
Ashlee–You’ve found others like you here. Someday scientists will invent potatoes that don’t grow eyes, and the world will be a safer place.
I have no idea what brought on this fear of potato eyes for me, but I have been terrified of them since I was a child. My older brother always thought it was hilarious and would chase me around the house with them. I am 22 years old and to this day, I cry if I am forced to cut them from the potato.
Brooke–I’m impressed that you’re able to cut them from the potato. I’m sure I could do it if I was forced to, but rarely does anyone force me to cut potatoes. So if they have eyes, they go in the trash can.