Censorship in America: Stick This in Your Backpack

Readers, I’m having a few problems with my editor/publisher that I think you may sympathize with, and I am writing this blog entry as a way of venting and sharing my frustrations.

I just wrote my blog entry for the Caroline Vault (about the Georgia Peach). I wrote it by hand on a piece of scratch paper I found laying around the apartment (as is my way), and when I triumphantly finished it, I handed it to Jamey to type it up and publish it on the blog. About 15 minutes later, he tells me that he’s done typing it up, and asks me to come read the final version off of his computer before he posts it. So I start reading…and realize that apparently unbeknownst to me, I write exactly like Jamey does. But oh wait, half of these words and phrases are not ones that I so carefully (ok, or haphazardly) penned minutes earlier. Jamey has taken it upon himself, as my “editor”, to spruce up the blog a bit with his own variations on my writing style. It’s basically the literary equivalent of Jamey interrupting me every 3 sentences, which as you can imagine, WAS AWESOME. >(

When I write, it’s more free-style and flowing than when someone like, oh say, Jamey, for example, writes, and he says he feels my writing often needs a few tweaks and edits to polish it off. In his opinion, I don’t always “write using paragraphs” or “complete my ideas” thus he took it upon himself to do so for me (rather than point out the places where he thinks I might want to complete my own ideas). Thanks to his helpful, useful, and constructive criticism, now I have a couple of “complete ideas” that I’d like to share with him. Because this is a PG-13 rated blog, let’s just say all of them involve Jamey playing with wolves with a steak strapped to his head.

Loyal readers, I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you all know that apparently we live in a Jamey-ocracy, where Jamey makes good ideas “better”. He’s probably going to censor this entry, too, so if it’s peppered with seemingly non sequiter sentences and phrases like “the Toyota Camry XLE IS a luxury vehicle” or “I had the stupendous idea that shoes with little umbrellas on the front would be perfect for rainy weather”, at least you’ll have some idea of what’s going on.