Summer Movies: August

Pineapple Express (August 8): This is a pot movie. I’m usually not amused by pot movies because they’re so clearly written by people who were high and though anything was funny, but this is different. This is a Judd Apatow joint. It’ll be worth it just for the scene in the trailer where James Franco tries to kick out his car’s windshield while driving and just ends up with his foot stuck in a hole in the glass.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (August 8): It’s so good because the pants travel everywhere! Not a chance.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (August 15): What, you didn’t know that there’s another Star Wars movie coming out this summer? It’s animated, and George Lucas has no connection to it. That’s a good thing. I have a feeling this will be better than any of the prequels.

Tropic Thunder (August 15): The trailer for this comedy looks a little uneven, but I love the shot of Ben Stiller, playing a prototypical action hero, carrying two polar bear cubs to safety. Should be good.

The House Bunny (August 22): I really like Anna Faris, and I thought Emma Stone was super-cute in last summer’s Super Bad. I seriously doubt I’ll watch a movie about Sorority Girls in the theater, but we’ll see.

Hamlet 2 (August 22): Read the title again. Think about it. Everyone dies in Hamlet “1”. This movie/mockumentary uses a device that makes a sequel possible. Let’s just say it involves a time machine and a musical number entitled, “Rock Me, Sexy Jesus.” Hilarity will ensue.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (August 29): I hadn’t even heard of this Woody Allen movie until I flipped through EW today. Apparently it involves a four-way between Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz, Rebecca Hall (don’t know her), and Javier Bardem. Yowza.

So that’s it. 29 movies. At $8 a movie, averaging popcorn and a soda (another $8) every other movie, I’m going to spend $348 on movies this summer. And that’s if I’m only paying for myself.

It’ll be money well spent.