The Last Person on Earth

Even though you’ve probably never had this said to you, you’ve heard the expression, “I wouldn’t do X with you if you were the last person on earth” (X usually being some sort of sexual act or light petting). Let’s have X stand for “kiss” for the sake of this blog entry. I wouldn’t kiss you if you were the last person on earth.

But what does that really mean? No one will ever get to test that theory. I mean, did Eve ever say to Adam, “I wouldn’t kiss you if you were the last person on earth. Oh, wait. Damn.” There’s never going to be just two people on earth.

However, consider a reality show built around this premise. You take a guy and who has been told the “last guy on earth” line by a specific girl, and you put them together on a deserted island. Or maybe a romantic island. And you just see what happens. Sure, the girl knows that eventually she’s going to go back to reality, so the guy isn’t actually the last guy on earth, but you can simulate that scenario for a while.

Even better, you pull a Jerry Springer and unwittingly put the girl on the island. Basically, you find a guy who has been given the “last guy on earth line” a while ago, and you find the girl that said it to him. Without reminding her that she once said that to the guy, you put her on an island or unmanned resort with the guy. If the guy can get her to do whatever she said she wouldn’t do (within reason) within a certain amount of time, he wins the prize money. If he can’t get her to do that, she wins the prize money.

I’m trying to think if I ever told someone I wouldn’t do something with them even if they were the last person on earth…I’m sure I’ve said “I would never read that” or “wear that” or “watch that”…any of those things could apply, but not directly to another person. I’ll think about it. Have you ever said something like that?