Archive for December, 2008

The Greatest Company in the World

No, it’s not Google. Or Amazon or Apple or the Shinehart Wig Company. It’s Ponoko. Specifically, Ponoko.com. I found out about it while reading Wired magazine last night. The short article posed the question: Have you ever had a great idea but you don’t know how to actually make it? Ponoko knows how to make […]


Pet Peeve #34: Obnoxiously Loud Bar Bands

When I go to a bar–not a club, a bar–I’m there to talk with friends. Emphasis on the word talk. Not scream, not yell, but talk. Granted, it’s going to be fairly loud at any crowded bar, but there’s one factor that can really hurt your chances of hearing what other people are saying: The […]


They're Not Holiday Trees, They're Christmas Trees!

Merry Christmas! There it is, I went and said the unthinkable. The Holiday-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. Run for the hills! Why has it become PC to wish people “Happy Holidays” instead of the specific holiday that you celebrate? Is that so wrong? Am I really offending a Jewish person, a Muslim person, a Hindu person, or a Kwanza […]


Do the Yankees Get ALL of the Free Agents?

Just saw that the Yankees are going to sign first-baseman Mark Teixeira, grabbing him from the two other teams who were trying to get him. They also recently signed the other two big free agents on the market, C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett (apparently they also like people who use initials for first names). So […]


How to Play RISK with Your Girlfriend

After playing a game of RISK with two other couples, I put together this little primer. It applies to other strategy-based games as well, but RISK is the focus here. Here’s how to play RISK with your girlfriend: Don’t play RISK with your girlfriend. If you follow this rule, you can disregard the others. If […]


The Cheerleader Channel

I had the good fortune of attending the Redskins-Eagles game yesterday. It wasn’t the most exciting game, but it’s still an incredible experience to attend an NFL game in person. One of the perks about going to the game is that you can turn your attention to the cheerleaders whenever you’d like. They’re always doing […]


The Shawl: T and NQL


The Legend of Tneeraja

The legend of Tneeraja, for those following on the comments board, is as follows: Two friends of mine, Trevor and Tracy, used to post quite a bit on my LiveJournal blog. Trevor used the name “T” to sign off his comments. Tracy, the Cain the Trevor’s Abel, coveted the “T” and declared that a contest […]


From the Mailbag

A few quick questions I need to catch up on: Whatever happened to Tneeraja? That bitch owes me money… Tneeraja is back, currently posting as “Anonymous.” This blog didn’t work on his work computer for a long time, but he’s posting from home now. Why do you have a third nipple? And don’t give me […]


How to Inject Yourself, Heroes-Style

I was watching my final episode of Heroes tonight (the show has gradually–no, rapidly–progressed to become one of the worst-written shows I’ve ever seen. Worse than Full House), and I couldn’t help but notice a trend that has persisted throughout this season: People stabbing themselves with syringes. I would think that if you had a […]


JoshVision: Question of the Day

QOD: We were all taught by GI Joe that “knowing is half the battle.” What are the other parts of the battle? Answer: This is a tricky question because as we can see in the chart below, despite what we’ve been taught, Knowing isn’t technically 50% of The Battle. In fact, it’s barely a third. But how […]


My Gripe with Bathroom Grips

Okay, that headline is a bit of a stretch, but bear with me. I have a longstanding gripe about public restroom door handles (the doors used to enter the restrooms, not the stall doors). I’m talking about rest-stop bathrooms, gas station bathrooms, restaurant bathrooms, places the general public uses. Here are the facts: 62% of […]


Obama Smokes?

President-elect Obama has my full support, but I have to say that I’m a little disappointed to learn that he’s a smoker. Why disappointed? I want my president to have the willpower to say no to things that are bad for himself, just like I want him to be able to say no to things […]


Cookies Baked by Angels

Answer me this: If I told you that you could purchase either (a) a cookie made in a factory in Hoboken or (b) a cookies made by angels, which would you select? I think the answer’s pretty clear. Put that angel cookie in my mouth. That was my thought the other day when a coworker […]


The Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2008

As presented by Neeraja… 10. People who type “LOL” when they’re not laughing out loud (followed by “People who say–not type–LOL”). 9. Networks that cancel shows mid-year without resolving the story lines! 8. Eagles–all that national recognition for what? The only real difference between eagles and vultures is that one is better looking than the […]


The Other Ornaments

People’s Choice Award: A Cartridge in a Bare Tree Best in Show: Completely handmade church, stain-glass window illuminated from within by a candle made of angel tears and hope.


Top Festivus Grievances of 2008: 11-20

Today’s list is brought to you by Gabby, with the Top 10 appearing tomorrow. 20. Twitter–I don’t want to know what you’re doing right now. 19. The phrase, “The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” Really, if we tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I think we’re covered. If […]


The Original Smoke Alarm S'more Ornament

I don’t have photos for the other ornaments, but here is the recipient of the Most Creative Ornament of 2008/Ever (as mentioned in this blog entry).


Top Festivus Grievances of 2008: 21-30

The countdown begins…. There were many, many grievances submitted at my Festivus party, so I had to pare them down a bit for the rankings. There were many accurate, insightful, and humorous grievances, but favor was given to those that offered some explanation as to why the person was grieving. Nancy and I narrowed the […]


Milking the Opera Scene

Today my girlfriend and I went to see the movie Milk. It’s about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in America. It’s a fascinating movie, well plotted, written, and acted, and as is always the case, I was moved to tears by all scenes involving crowds of people […]


The Ornament

I had the pleasure of attending two very creative parties this weekend. The first was a party that I also hosted, my fifth annual Festivus party. I’m pretty sure it’s the one party my friends attend every year where you post your grievances for all the world to see. I’m currently working on ranking those […]


Top Festivus Grievances of 2007

The Travelocity Roaming Gnome—his antics are giving other garden porcelain a bad name Dane Cook—for telling us over and over that there is only one Actober! [It took about a year, but finally everyone realizes that Dane Cook sucks.] Hips that lie Delilah After Dark—for many reasons, including her poor taste in music when people […]


Top Festivus Grievances of 2006

I’m hosting my fifth annual Festivus party this weekend. Guests are asked to bring their grievances for the year so they can air them on posters I put up around the condo, per Seinfeld tradition. I encourage grievances of the humorous sort, as you can see below. These are the top grievances of 2006, to […]


The U.S. Makes-No-Census Bureau

Last week, a few days before Thanksgiving, I got a letter at work from the U.S. Census Bureau. It was a notification that I would soon be receiving an American Community Survey questionnaire regarding the residents in my building (there is a house attached to the church where I work). I promptly recycled the notice–I’d […]