Top Festivus Grievances of 2007

  1. The Travelocity Roaming Gnome—his antics are giving other garden porcelain a bad name
  1. Dane Cook—for telling us over and over that there is only one Actober! [It took about a year, but finally everyone realizes that Dane Cook sucks.]
  1. Hips that lie
  1. Delilah After Dark—for many reasons, including her poor taste in music when people ask her to pick a song and when she refers to diamonds as “bling.”

6.   People who use phrases like “anywho” and “what can I do you for?”

5.   Popped collars

4.   The decline of the adverb.  (Ex. I feel bad vs. I feel badly.) 


  1. My dog was neutered and he’s still licking his balls in pleasure (and humping me occasionally)
  1. Urinal cakes—not as tasty as other pastries
  1. Girls who can’t take a punch (written by a girl)