8 Things Every Man Should Know

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Photo of Jamey with Baseball Bat to Legitimize This Post

There’s a lot of advice for men out there. Entire magazines are devoted to that type of content. Typical topics range from how to pleasure a woman,  to how to get a six pack, to how to improve your golf swing. Relevant stuff, but repetitive.

Granted, there’s some really good content out there too (see Esquire’s “75 Things Every Man Should Know“). 75? I’ve got 8. They’re fundamentals. Four do’s and four don’ts. Follow them.

  1. Eat baby spinach. This is how you stay healthy. Eat a bowl of it with dressing (otherwise it’s very bland) at every dinner. It helps to balance out otherwise unhealthy meals.
  2. Turn off the button sounds on your cell phone. You may have tuned out the beep beep boop beep sounds every time you press a key to text your friend, but the people around you haven’t. Respect them.
  3. Floss. Do you want to wear dentures when you’re 35? Enough said.
  4. Be willing to make fun of yourself. Don’t be the guy who gets pissed off or indignant whenever someone makes a joke at your expense. You’re more likable if you’re willing to laugh at–and poke fun at–your own shortcomings and weaknesses.
  5. Don’t bite your nails. Don’t think that it’s not that bad, or that people don’t notice, or that your fingers don’t look gross. It is, they do, and they do.
  6. Don’t reply to all. Specifically, if you get an e-mail that requires an RSVP, don’t reply to all. Even if you have a really clever reply. Odds are it isn’t as clever as you think it is. Still type it if you think it’s really witty, but let an audience of one be the judge of that.
  7. Don’t punch a wall. If you’re mad or want to show someone you’re mad, take it out on something soft. Not something hard. You’ll just be madder, and now your hand hurts.
  8. Don’t ever tell a woman she smells. Even if she does.  But especially if she doesn’t. Don’t even joke about it. Women are extremely sensitive about body odor. And let’s be honest–98% of the time, they smell damn good. Let them know that, and forget about the 2%.

I’m sure there are plenty more–maybe I’ll write a follow-up post in the future. Anything fundamentals to add?