Transformers: Exactly What Meets the Eye

Okay. I love the idea of watching giant robots fighting on the big screen. That’s all I ask of a Transformers movie. I was sorely disappointed by the first film because even though robots were fighting, there was so much camera movement, quick cuts, and human-eye angles that I couldn’t tell what was going on in the battles.

I went into Transformers 2 with extremely low expectations, especially after reading the barrage of bad reviews this week. I primed myself to suspend belief and just enjoy the eye candy that was to unfold before me.

And in terms of eye candy, the movie actually delivered. The fight scenes are quite spectacular at times, my favorite being a battle in the forest in the middle of the movie. There are also a couple really hot women in the movie, and it seems that the wardrobe of every female extra in the background consists of a micro-mini skirt and a tank top. I can support that.

Really, that’s all the movie has to offer. But those things cover a good 90 minutes of the movie. Everything else sucks to levels that you can’t even imagine. I don’t even want to think about them, so I won’t type them here. But for 90 of the nearly 150 minutes of the movie, you’re entertained by giant robots fighting and hot women running and posing and letting robots hump their legs. Literally.

The bottom line? If you can suspend belief for 150 minutes so you can enjoy 90 minutes of it, go. The movie isn’t even worth watching on a TV screen. It’s too big, and all the flaws are going to be all the more glaring if you can pause the movie at home. I’m sure Michael Bay needs your money, so go see it on the big screen.