If I Could Pimp My Ride…

If I could pimp my ride, I’d retrofit it to be the ultimate long-distance vehicle.

Prior to last year, I was horrible at long-distance driving. I’d get stiff, bored, and tired after about 2 hours in my Camry. But last year I had a long-distance relationship that resulted in several 8-hour trips to West Virginia. I learned to incorporate books on tape and crunchy snacks for the road, and it wasn’t too bad at all.

Today I drove from my hometown of Chesterfield, Virginia all the way to St. Louis. With my cat. A 12-hour drive. Although the trip was mostly pleasant, I found myself wanting a few modifications for my car to become the ultimate long-distance vehicle:

  • A lift-up flap in the center of the driver’s seat that opens into a built-in, removable urinal. Gross? Kind of. But it goes really well with…
  • An extra gas tank. It took two and a half tanks for my Camry to get from Chesterfield to St. Louis. I could reduce the number of stops to one with a combination of the urinal and the extra tank.
  • Massage chair: My back and neck get sore driving that long, and without volunteers for massages along every possible route, a massage chair would suffice.
  • Electric shocks: I’m not all that enthused about this idea, but if this were built into the seat, it would help a weary driver stay awake.
  • Temperature-regulated center console for food and drinks.
  • Bluetooth so I don’t have to keep plugging in my iPhone for “get pumped” music (my song of choice for getting the blood moving on this drive was Flo Rida’s “Right Round”–the song that played during slideshow at the end of The Hangover)
  • Some place/perch that’s more appealing to a cat than the interior of his litter box or between my feet.

How would you pimp your ride for distance driving?