Comments on: Confession #9: The Wandering Eye http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:42:33 +0000 hourly 1 By: Jamey Stegmaier http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-5342 Jamey Stegmaier Sat, 25 Sep 2010 22:42:49 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-5342 Stephen--Thanks for your input, and congratulations on 29 years of marriage. Many more to you, and I hope to reach such a benchmark someday. I completely agree that relationships are a lot of work. I'm a little surprised that someone linked to my blog in reference to men having a wandering eye. That gender-specific claim definitely wasn't that point. I was just writing from my perspective, and I happen to be male. I think anyone could have a wandering eye. Anyone can wonder if they've found the love of their life or if they're settling for less. Stephen–Thanks for your input, and congratulations on 29 years of marriage. Many more to you, and I hope to reach such a benchmark someday. I completely agree that relationships are a lot of work.

I’m a little surprised that someone linked to my blog in reference to men having a wandering eye. That gender-specific claim definitely wasn’t that point. I was just writing from my perspective, and I happen to be male. I think anyone could have a wandering eye. Anyone can wonder if they’ve found the love of their life or if they’re settling for less.

]]> By: Stephen Wittkop http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-5334 Stephen Wittkop Sat, 25 Sep 2010 13:48:17 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-5334 Speaking from the perspective of 29 years of marriage to the same woman, and not believing in luck or coincidence, relationships are sometimes hard work. I believe that commitment to another human being (a woman in my case) is a sign of maturity. Leaving behind "the things of youth". Relationships usually start with infatuation and evolve into something comfortable, thats when the work should start. When comfort comes along take time to reflect and plan, so when the inevitable change that EVERYONE goes through comes along, both partners in the relationship are prepared and can better cope with the changes. One of the most basic of primal urges, the desire to love and be loved, leads us into relationships. A relationship in its infancy is very much like a dance, sometimes toes get stepped on or the dancers feel the music has ended. The truth is the dancers themselves must make their own music, quickly forgive any awkwardness involving "toes", and over time the dance becomes more effortless and beautiful. But even Fred and Ginger had choreography that required practice. Commitment to the vision of a 50th anniversary celebration is what helps me practice the give and take, open honesty, forgiveness and devotion which are the basic elements of marriage "choreography". Just as a side note, James, I found your blog while reading about a debate over "should women wear skirts or pants". The debate revolves around the modesty provided by skirts that cover the knee over pants that show off all the female curves. Your blog was a link that illustrated the male propensity to look for greener pasture. I cast no stones in your direction, after 29 years I too still look, but for only a moment. It is acceptable to appreciate beauty in all its forms, but it must be in a framework of commitment to a greater vision. Also, keep in mind that Ginger had to do all the moves that Fred did, only backwards and in heels. Vaya con Dios, which is not just a passing regard, but a blessing that all your efforts find God's approval. Speaking from the perspective of 29 years of marriage to the same woman, and not believing in luck or coincidence, relationships are sometimes hard work. I believe that commitment to another human being (a woman in my case) is a sign of maturity. Leaving behind “the things of youth”. Relationships usually start with infatuation and evolve into something comfortable, thats when the work should start. When comfort comes along take time to reflect and plan, so when the inevitable change that EVERYONE goes through comes along, both partners in the relationship are prepared and can better cope with the changes.

One of the most basic of primal urges, the desire to love and be loved, leads us into relationships. A relationship in its infancy is very much like a dance, sometimes toes get stepped on or the dancers feel the music has ended. The truth is the dancers themselves must make their own music, quickly forgive any awkwardness involving “toes”, and over time the dance becomes more effortless and beautiful. But even Fred and Ginger had choreography that required practice. Commitment to the vision of a 50th anniversary celebration is what helps me practice the give and take, open honesty, forgiveness and devotion which are the basic elements of marriage “choreography”.

Just as a side note, James, I found your blog while reading about a debate over “should women wear skirts or pants”. The debate revolves around the modesty provided by skirts that cover the knee over pants that show off all the female curves. Your blog was a link that illustrated the male propensity to look for greener pasture. I cast no stones in your direction, after 29 years I too still look, but for only a moment. It is acceptable to appreciate beauty in all its forms, but it must be in a framework of commitment to a greater vision.

Also, keep in mind that Ginger had to do all the moves that Fred did, only backwards and in heels.

Vaya con Dios, which is not just a passing regard, but a blessing that all your efforts find God’s approval.

]]> By: The Psychology of Sex #7: Match.com – jameystegmaier.com http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-4781 The Psychology of Sex #7: Match.com – jameystegmaier.com Fri, 27 Aug 2010 02:43:11 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-4781 [...] to think that someday I’ll find someone (or realize I already know someone) who deactivates my wandering eye (lots of hyperlinks today, sorry)? Match hasn’t made this any easier. Every day there’s [...] [...] to think that someday I’ll find someone (or realize I already know someone) who deactivates my wandering eye (lots of hyperlinks today, sorry)? Match hasn’t made this any easier. Every day there’s [...]

]]> By: What If All Marriages Lasted Exactly 5 Years? « Jamey Stegmaier's Blog http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-2149 What If All Marriages Lasted Exactly 5 Years? « Jamey Stegmaier's Blog Wed, 13 Jan 2010 06:46:29 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-2149 [...] I was reading the comments on my post on Monday about my wandering eye, and someone mentioned the scientific insight that the hormonal rush that gives us the feeling of [...] [...] I was reading the comments on my post on Monday about my wandering eye, and someone mentioned the scientific insight that the hormonal rush that gives us the feeling of [...]

]]> By: Kai http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-2148 Kai Wed, 13 Jan 2010 04:19:48 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-2148 Extra! EXTRA!! The Professor has done it again! The 150 year old Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth has invented the What If machine. It will answer all your "what if" questions. It might even cure that wandering eye of yours. It's like having your very own Dalai Lama in your living room but without the whole holiness. The What If machine is yours for three easy payment of $29.99 plus shipping and handling. Call 800-1WHATIF to order. What are you waiting for! Call now. Brought to you by Walrus Juice. It's extreme! Sorry if you don't like the comment. I can't think of any helpful advices or wise words for this situation. But this is an awesome post with great comments. I'm mentally taking notes when reading them. I think they will come in handy someday. Here's a picture of Professor and the What If machine. If you are curious. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_rtOXMZlMTkg/SWZPP8E_bLI/AAAAAAAABkE/yORVcigGE-Y/s400/What_if_Machine.jpg Extra! EXTRA!!

The Professor has done it again! The 150 year old Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth has invented the What If machine. It will answer all your “what if” questions. It might even cure that wandering eye of yours. It’s like having your very own Dalai Lama in your living room but without the whole holiness. The What If machine is yours for three easy payment of $29.99 plus shipping and handling. Call 800-1WHATIF to order. What are you waiting for! Call now.

Brought to you by Walrus Juice. It’s extreme!

Sorry if you don’t like the comment. I can’t think of any helpful advices or wise words for this situation. But this is an awesome post with great comments. I’m mentally taking notes when reading them. I think they will come in handy someday.

Here’s a picture of Professor and the What If machine. If you are curious. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_rtOXMZlMTkg/SWZPP8E_bLI/AAAAAAAABkE/yORVcigGE-Y/s400/What_if_Machine.jpg

]]> By: Dionne http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-2147 Dionne Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:31:22 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-2147 I've read "Eat,Pray,Love" as well. My roommate and I quote that book all the time! That book is in my top 5. High Fidelity is in my Top 10. I’ve read “Eat,Pray,Love” as well. My roommate and I quote that book all the time! That book is in my top 5. High Fidelity is in my Top 10.

]]> By: Rebecca http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-2146 Rebecca Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:23:18 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-2146 Thanks, Dionne! I read an excerpt from EG's new book in "Oprah" and can't wait to get my hands on it. I may have to finish EPL first, though...got through most of it for Jamey's book club a few years ago but never made it all of the way through the "love" part. Hmmm. I hope that's not a metaphor for anything. Anyway, I love-love-love "High Fidelity". It's definitely in my Top Five movies, and it makes me happy just to be able to say that. :) Thanks, Dionne! I read an excerpt from EG’s new book in “Oprah” and can’t wait to get my hands on it. I may have to finish EPL first, though…got through most of it for Jamey’s book club a few years ago but never made it all of the way through the “love” part. Hmmm. I hope that’s not a metaphor for anything. Anyway, I love-love-love “High Fidelity”. It’s definitely in my Top Five movies, and it makes me happy just to be able to say that. :)

]]> By: jameystegmaier http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-2145 jameystegmaier Tue, 12 Jan 2010 16:05:37 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-2145 Oh yes, I've read about the two years before--as you say, it's about the hormones that give you that feeling of being in love, that "in love" high. I don't expect that high to last. Two years would be great. I would hope that I would have fallen into a much deeper, more profound state of "in love" far before the high wears off. Oh yes, I’ve read about the two years before–as you say, it’s about the hormones that give you that feeling of being in love, that “in love” high. I don’t expect that high to last. Two years would be great. I would hope that I would have fallen into a much deeper, more profound state of “in love” far before the high wears off.

]]> By: Dionne http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-2144 Dionne Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:50:53 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-2144 Rebecca you rock! I love that you quoted both "High Fideltiy" and "Committed". I love both, although, I'm not done reading "Committed". Rebecca you rock! I love that you quoted both “High Fideltiy” and “Committed”. I love both, although, I’m not done reading “Committed”.

]]> By: Rebecca http://jameystegmaier.com/2010/01/confession-9-the-wandering-eye/#comment-2143 Rebecca Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:47:45 +0000 http://jameystegmaier.com/?p=1799#comment-2143 You can be "in love" again (and/or still) after the two year period. It's more that it can take that long for the sex-hormone cloud to clear with respect to that person and for something more profound to emerge. ::Digs for that articles:: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4669104.stm http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/19031744/ Neither is the exact one I'm thinking of, but added together, they say the same thing. You can be “in love” again (and/or still) after the two year period. It’s more that it can take that long for the sex-hormone cloud to clear with respect to that person and for something more profound to emerge.

::Digs for that articles::

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4669104.stm
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/19031744/

Neither is the exact one I’m thinking of, but added together, they say the same thing.

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