The Perfect Woman for Me
Okay, I’ve gone and done something a little self-centered: I created a survey geared toward finding the perfect woman for me. I wrote 25 questions that really matter and posted them HERE. If you don’t mind, post your scores in the comments section below. And if you score a perfect 25 (or in the 20-25 range)…contact me! 
I’m posting this on Facebook, Twitter, and even craigslist. Why not cast a wide net?
Kudos to Qualtrics for the sweet survey software, by the way. Give it a try sometime.
so if intentionally single jamey should find the perfect woman via survey on the internet, will that compromise his intentional singularity? or will he intentionally remain intentionally single, all the while knowing that the perfect woman for him is out there and that he has turned her down intentionally in the name of the intentionally single and the blogging it otherwise affords him?
been there….
Oh no, I won’t remain intentionally single if someone scores a 25!
I only got 14/25 (56%)so I’m definitely out, but he seems like a great guy and I really hope he finds someone wonderful for him!
Amanda–Hey, thanks so much for taking the survey. Did any questions stand out to you?
The question about 20 minutes before bed stood out. I don’t think I should have gotten a wrong answer just because my pre-bedtime activity is under the “other” option.
The one about working out was good, but I got it wrong because I workout more than 0 times a week lol. I do a lot of 5Ks and things for charity and I need to keep my body used to physical activity during the week.
The aspects of a relationship was an interesting question, but I never thought conversation would be an issue because I’m a naturally chatty and social person, so I missed that one too.
When I saw my score I was so bummed lol, I really wanted to be a good fit for you. It’s good to see that you’re getting a lot of responses though
That’s a fair point about “other” on the bedtime question. The thing is, I really love to read in bed with a woman before falling asleep, hence my answer.
For the workout question, the “right” answers were somewhere between 1 and 4. Did that not fit you? And honestly, this was a difficult question to put in there. Originally it was about weight. But then I was like, it’s not fair at all for me to judge someone I haven’t met by their weight. What’s at the heart of that question, really? It’s not about weight–it’s about caring for your body without obsessing over it. I hope that’s fair. I would say for the most part I’m more attracted to more petite women, but that doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to women closer to my weight.
Conversation is SO important to me. Perhaps you’ve never dated someone who’s bad/boring at conversation? It’s dreadful.
Right now it’s up to 58 responses–not bad!
So I’ve been browsing around your site (I found the answers to the survey in one of your blogs, darn! I should have cheated before I took it!) and I can’t seem to find an age for you. I’m guessing between 22 and 37…what’s the exact number? lol.
No! I didn’t think 37, I was thinking around my age and I was right. You’re aging wonderfully my dear lol.
You’re digging yourself out of a hole now.
37! Just a few years ago I was young and sprightly.
14/25? I think you scored just above “one night stand,” but below “year-long relationship with lots of bickering”.
Speaking of which, I REALLY wanted to create a scale like that so when a person finished the survey, she could see what the results meant. But I couldn’t figure it out. Oh well. Next time. Maybe I’ll post the scale on the blog.
Hmm, maybe if Jamey and I were both into something like “weekend fling with playful banter” we’d have a shot lol.
I do love banter…
Ditto, old man
Hey now. You’re just as old as I am.
Are you sure I’m just as old as you are? I never said my age…
True. You said around my age. So, 42?
Lol hey! I happen to be younger than you by a couple years! 42, good grief lol.
Are you secretly (or openly) hoping that Amy Adams fills this out (and scores a 25)?
Good idea! It’s like match.com (or some other dating site), but with the questions that you actually want answers to!
Apparently Amy filled it out earlier…she got a 17, unfortunately. That’s too bad.
Yes, exactly–I was thinking eHarmony, but just for me!
I know there is a warning that the survey is only for women, but maybe you should post a link where just the questions are. I took the survey just cause I wanted to read all the questions and that was the only way to see them. So disregard my score even though I did pretty well
Yeah I’m not sure how to do that (although I will be discussing the survey on the blog later). I have no idea who took the survey, but I can delete answers based on time…looks like you commented at 6:42 am, but I don’t see a survey finished at that time.
I did the same as Gabby…just wanted to see the questions, etc. I answered as I’d want a woman who’s perfect for me to answer. You and I want 76% of the same woman (based on your questions).
Thanks, Trev. I’ve been able to figure out who the guys are that took the test. I’ve gotten so many results that I’m going to have some interesting data to share next week.
well if it helps I got a 21 so we are pretty compatible. So if any ladies score well and live in the DC area I seem to have similar tastes as jamey but I am an upgrade is almost all categories (writing/blogging definitely not one of them)
“an upgrade in almost all categories”
I think Gabby deserves a date for that line alone.
HAHA, a fun way to start a Friday. I got 20/25. A grammar question? Really? Love it! Good luck!
20? Not bad! Amazingly, all 52 respondents have gotten the grammar question right so far!
Yea, sorry. I get hot. I know you like temp at 78. LOL. What happens if the perfect woman lives in another country? I thought the quiz was almost like a test for reading the blog. Watch out for the ones who might answer the way you would want them to! It’s still a fun thing to put out there.
Ha ha…yep, if you’ve read the blog since November, you’ll know most of the “right” answers…although I’d hope people would answer honestly!
I agree. I COULD HAVE got a 24 (I’ve never heard of the game you like, but now I’m going to check it out). I answered honestly. So what will the geographical restrictions be? I think this post is going to get the most comments ever!
Good question. I’ve done the long-distance thing before, and I’m simply not up for it again (for a variety of reasons I won’t go into here). However, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t mind striking up a conversation with a woman who doesn’t live in St. Louis if she’s close to my perfect match.
And perhaps I should have conveyed this in the original post–I’m not really in a place right now where I want a relationship. I’m not completely averse to it, but I’m not seeking it either (I know that’s contradictory to the ideal behind this poll, but I moreso just thought it would be interesting).
I got a 20/25. I think that is 80% compatable….hmmmm…..
If you were to find a woman who scored perfectly…she would probably be intentionally single as well and may not contact you…lol. Just a thought.
Ha ha…you’re probably right! We could be friends for now, though.
The grammar question has no correct answer – the second half of the sentence should have a comma in there.
You disappoint me, Stegmaier.
Oh Joe…I’m sorry, but that’s not correct. That will make you the first person to miss the grammar question
So am I still at the top with 80%??? Sorry Amanda, you can’t win them all:)
Dionne, you scored a 20 out of 25. So far 59 women have responded (I’ve cancelled out the men), and two people have scored 22, while five people have scored 21.
yes but do they have a special bathrobe…lol
That’s okay, I don’t mind being one of the failures lol.
I think that’s a bit of an understatement. 14 is not many
A few years younger than me? Sounds good!
16 out of 25. And actually, had you had a question about location, I’d score even lower.
Good thing I’ve found a guy who likes my make-uped, boozy, tv-watching, lazy butt self!
Aww…Neeraja, I like your make-uped, boozy, tv-watching, lazy butt self too! Just not in the way that Tim does.
It’s true. He likes me
This survey will probably scare women away, not attract them. It suggests that you’re controlling, have some intimacy issues, and are looking for an unattainable ideal. And your questions don’t get at important issues of compatibility such as values, goals in life, etc. Rather, you harp on trivialities. You have to be flexible when in a relationship. If you really like a girl, it shouldn’t matter that much what exactly she does or does not do in any given situation. And if something is bothering her and she wants to talk about it, if you care about her and care about the relationship, you’ll talk it out. If she’s stressed or upset about work, you should be there as a shoulder for her to lean on, as a confidant, if she chooses to confide in you. If you don’t want a partner who opens up to you then you are risking a bad relationship. Either that or you don’t want a woman, you want a man!
No one wants to settle or to be unhappy with an incompatible person. I’m sure you can find an athletic girl who loves cats, is pretty and confident, etc. But what do you have to offer her? and if she slips up and does something that goes against your perfect ideal, your mold, will you immediately bail? or stick it out? Can you handle some surprises and challenges? Aren’t some surprises good? If you already know everything about your future woman, and already know everything to expect, what is the point of having a relationship with her? What is left to experience and discover?
You’ll never last long enough with someone to really love them and accept them and be there for them if you approach dating as you’re currently doing… But I wish you the best of luck. I hope a woman will cross your path that will make you chuck this survey and your 25 questions out the window!
Tori,
I can’t speak for all women, but it didn’t scare me away at all. I admit his method was a bit unusual, but at least he asked the questions that were important to HIM. Some of the questions Jamey had in the survey can give him an insight into a woman’s values and whether or not he’s compatible with the lady.
As far as the opening up comment, he never said “don’t open up to me”, he said wait until morning. Have you ever tried to reasonably discuss something with someone when you’re tired? It never ends well and both people usually regret it in the morning. Nothing wrong with waiting until morning when everyone is rested as opposed to being tired and crabby and arguing at whatever hour of the night.
He isn’t settling, hence part of the reason (I think) that he made the survey. He’s seeing who is out there, he’s seeing if a woman comes along who he is compatible with, he’s trying not to waste anyone’s time and this is how he chose to do it.
How can you say that his way of approaching dating won’t work out successfully? People meet the love of their life in the weirdest ways in today’s world! If your method is working so well then how come you are still single? No one knows how they will meet their true love or whatever you want to call it, you just keep trying, meeting new people, exploring different outlets and then maybe eventually when the time is right you find the one for you. No rules as to where or when or how, it just happens for people in all different ways.
I wish him and you the best of luck finding your special someones.
Amanda–thanks so much for your eloquent reply. I really like what you said about waiting until the morning to discuss a serious topic–you’re going to have all the male readers of this blog flocking to you after saying that!
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that I’m not settling. I’m perfectly happy being single. But I don’t want to close myself to the possibility of finding someone really special, hence the survey.
“No rules.” Exactly. Well said.
Tori–Thanks for your comments and challenges. I think you have some great points here. If you don’t mind, I’ll address some of these points, because I think you’re making some assumptions that require clarification.
1. I’m controlling and have intimacy issues: I’m intrigued by how you got that perception from my survey. Intimacy issues? Sure. That’s fair. Controlling? I genuinely think the opposite is true when it comes to me and relationships. The last thing I want is control over my girlfriend–I want a free spirit, a free will, someone who is independent. I hardly ever get jealous. Intimacy issues I’ll give you, but not controlling.
2. I don’t address important compatibility issues: You state this like it’s a fact instead of an opinion, but really, isn’t this up to each individual in terms of what they want in a partner? I don’t care if a woman likes the same music I like or has similar goals in life–I care moreso that she’s willing and able to talk to me about those things and be open to my hopes and dreams.
3. I don’t address values: The thing is, I do–I just don’t ask it in an obvious way. Like the question about letting someone into a circle of discussion. Making that a situational question is a lot more effective than asking, “Are you a nice person?” The same with the kissing question. This question isn’t about kissing–it’s about awareness of other people and what they’re doing. I’d say most of the questions have to do with values.
4. If a girlfriend is stressed at work: This is a tricky one, and I can see how the “wrong” answer kind of makes me look like a jerk. Don’t get me wrong–I’m there for a girlfriend if she needs to talk. But I know from experience that things get rough if I’m the ONLY person my girlfriend talks to about stressful things. Also, this question is about personal responsibility–do you take responsibility for your stress and try to improve your life, or do you just complain about it? That’s the heart of it. (Again, these questions may seem situational, but I find situational questions the most effective at getting to the truth of who the person is.)
5. “Girl who loves cats, is pretty and confident.” I thought this was an interesting comment because I didn’t say any of those things in the survey. I didn’t mention attraction in any way, nor confidence, and I own a cat, so I just asked if the woman is okay with cats. I don’t see any harm in that. I mean, I love my cat!
I’d have a hard time getting rid of him for a woman, as silly as that sounds.
6. Can I handle surprises and challenges? You know, that’s a really good question. Challenges, most certainly yes. Surprises I have a harder time with. There are very few true dealbreakers in the survey. The only true dealbreakers are smoking…and smoking. That’s the only true dealbreaker. Like, the tattoos question. That really doesn’t matter that much. Tattoos are a bit of a turn off for me, but if I found an amazing woman who was into tattoos, I wouldn’t turn her down because she got that question wrong, you know? In hindsight that’s a question I probably could have left off.
I would like to challenge you on one thing if that’s okay, Tori. You’re confident and it sounds like you know yourself really well. That’s awesome. But you come across as really authoritative to someone you don’t even know. “You’ll never last long enough with someone to really love them…” I mean, that’s a pretty harsh thing to say to someone. You might want to work on framing such thoughts as opinions when it’s as subjective as this.
In all fairness, I’m no spring chicken. It’s not like I’ve never dated a woman and I think I know what I want. I’ve gone around the block many times (check out the break-up entry a few days ago). This stuff comes from experience. I think the key is not to read the questions literally. Yes, maybe I’m asking about a TV in the bedroom, but what’s at the heart of that? Maybe stay tuned next week when I elaborate on what the survey means.
All in all, you made me think, so thank you, Tori. I hope you’re able to take something positive or constructive away from this survey and perhaps this blog.
Cat fight!!! lol I just wanted to say that.
Dang! You beat me to it! LOL
I think its funny the type of responses Jamey’s blog illicits. Who knew pheromones can be translated via internet…lol.
i’m sooo gonna steal this questionnaire idea to help me weed out the dweebies, too!
great idea!
Ha ha…thanks. It’s pretty slick survey software (and it’s free). Let me know when you post your survey–I’d like to fill it out!
will do
i’m making one now… wee! i’m sucha nerd and get too much into this sorta thing. haha
I’m curious to see the new questions you think of–I think the questions say a lot about what matters to you. Different things for different people.
I couldn’t agree more. I liked your questions, especially the grammatically correct one
That’s the ultimate way to filter out certain people. Better than asking: Are you intelligent? a. Yes b. No
Hey Jamey, you can delete my numbers – - I think I only got two wrong… Sorry I’m not a woman and I’m married. I think the men will automatically score higher because generally we wear very little make-up.
Ha ha…thanks, Jaysen. That leaves me with 116 respondents.
HA HA HA! I KNEW he would take the quiz!
20/25
So that you can keep your survey records straight, I am a man.
But if we ever both decide to bat for the other team or you get a really thorough sex change operation, call me.
Still disappointed you didn’t chase down that woman on the bike in Forest Park yesterday. I think by “nice cross” she meant “nice (hot) cross (buns)”.
Thanks, Bob. I’ll take your responses out of the overall data set for analysis purposes.
It’s always awesome when a woman not only recognizes a nice sports play, but also says something about it. Maybe it was the Under Armour she liked.
Ha! I couldn’t resist and I took it, too (even though I’m so far from single, and happily that way, you can’t see the questions without playing. CLEVER). I scored the same as Amy A.
Regarding what posting the survey says about you: It’s funny, and it’s YOUR website. If a girl is turned off by your posts, I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest the two of you wouldn’t have been right for one another anyway.
Thanks for taking the quiz! I was hoping any woman would be open to taking it so I can cull some interesting info from the data.
I don’t think you’re going out on a limb to say that.
I appreciate Tori’s remarks, but I’m guessing we’re not a good fit.
Glad to help. Even though I suspect Trevor’s and Bob’s answers will, ultimately, be the most useful.
What? Why?
I’m sort of joking, but I also think it’d be interesting for you, as a guy and author of the survey, to see how other guys answered as if they were women, versus how women themselves answered. If that makes any sense.
I understand what you’re saying, I actually really like that idea! That data should have been included too.
[...] week, I created a survey and posted a link to it on my blog, craigslist, Facebook, and Twitter. The intent of the survey was to determine if there is such [...]
anyone get a perfect score yet? Btw, how long ago did you create this quiz?
Julie–Just last Thursday night. Check out today’s blog entry for the full results (one person got a perfect score, but I haven’t heard from her.) What did you score?
Jamey, I can’t remember!!! haha!!! I got so excited at the idea that I could create my own and that’s what I’ve been doing
I’m gonna check the blog out now as we speak… err type.
You totally scored a 3/25, didn’t you?
I hope you post your survey here!
haha you know it!
no, i think it was a 15 or 16? or was it a 14? it was somewhere between 14 and 17. My goodness.
[...] example, the last question in my “perfect woman” survey dealt with how a woman would respond if we sat down to watch a TV show and I started to tease her [...]
We just like this data shown and that has presented myself some sort of desire to have success for some factor, so thank you.
Well I’m not perfect but I did score a 22. That should qualify as near perfect and a date.
Not bad! Which three did you answer differently?
I answered the three that are the most crazy…
1. If you don’t know that many people and your at a party how much time do you spend with your boyfriend… Can a person even answer that? Every situtation is different. So I choose 40-60% I think?
2. How hot to you keep your home? I don’t know one guy that likes it 75 degrees in thier home. I challenge you to prove that you actually keep your condo at 75 degrees.
3. Tv in bedroom..Sorry however I do..
Comfortably, this post is actually the greatest on this valuable topic. I agree with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your next updates.