My Greatest Fear #11

It mocks me.

I consider myself fairly athletic. I currently play soccer, football, and kickball, and I’m in the upper tier of the athletes with whom I play. At my age, having fun while pushing myself a little is what’s important to me. So the sport itself doesn’t even matter that much.

However, there is one sport that I am so bad at that it is virtually impossible for me to have fun playing it. That sport? Volleyball.

Yes, volleyball, the bikini-friendly game of the summer Olympics. So carefree and fun are volleyball players–really, anyone can join in and have a great time, right? Wrong. Not for me.

Things I’d Have More Fun Doing Than Playing Volleyball

  1. Making out with Betty White (a victory in itself, but certainly not fun)
  2. Crushing ice with my front teeth
  3. Wearing a banana-hammock to a crowded beach
  4. Arm-wrestling a grizzly bear
  5. Filtering Coca-Cola through my nose

That’s just small sample of the things that I would truly get more joy out of than playing volleyball.

Why? The origins of this fear run deep. They start with the elementary school teacher who taught me how to hold my hands when I hit the volleyball. She taught an entire class of kids how to hit the ball to maximize pain to the forearms, and I’ve found it very difficult to train myself out of that position.

This was followed by a short intermural stint in college when I thought I’d have fun playing indoor volleyball with my freshman floor. Balls have never been more errant than they were that evening, and I walked home alone, having sworn off volleyball for good.

Do you have a sport like this? One that even when you try to just have fun playing it, it ruins your day?