Miss Alignment

An alert reader sent me the following question today, along with the awesome accompanying drawing below:

“There’s got to be some term for the phenomenon when you see someone running with the pony tail, tight shorts, sports bra, and so on, and there is a tree in-between the trail and the road that is in just the wrong place where the speed of the runner and the speed of your car causes the tree to block the view entirely.”

Okay, so there’s not technically a question in there, but he’s clearly looking for a term that doesn’t exist.

Until now.

First, I want to say that this is probably an experience shared by men and women alike. We all look at attractive joggers. I’m pretty sure that’s why people jog in the park, because in my experience, there’s nothing fun about jogging.

There have been many times that I’ve adjusted the speed of my car to avoid the issue this reader described. I’m a good driver, but it’s not exactly safe for me to do this. Really, all trees should be removed from the outer edges of the park to allow for a better viewing experience. Come on, Parks and Rec.

So. The terminology. I spent hours (or maybe 2 minutes) researching possible names for this conundrum. The point at which the stars align and your view is obstructed despite the fact that you’re moving at a different speed in your car than the jogger’s pace.

The term is hereby myrunopia.

my-run-o-pi-a [mahy-rahn-oh-pee-uh] – noun – (1) a condition of the environment in which attractive runners in the distance are unable to be optically perceived

Here’s a scientific diagram to back up this term:

Look it up. It’s scientific.

Daily Quickie: I had an idea today for a motorized stroller for mothers and fathers who want to jog while their kids are still young. Have you ever seen these joggers? Their upper body movements are so awkward and restricted because of the stroller. Motorized strollers exists, but not for this purpose. You could set your pace on the stroller and hold a mechanism that, if accidentally released, would cause the stroller to stop. You could also increase your pace on that mechanism without looking at it, kind of like a volume control. Brilliant?