Pet Please #29: That Yoga Pants Are Now Everyday Pants

I’m guessing it happened like this:

A few years ago, the president of each sorority gathered in a clandestine meeting (that, of course, eventually turned into an underwear-clad pillow fight). The topic of discussion?

Whether or not yoga pants–tight stretch pants, usually black, sometimes with words on the butt–could be worn as pants.

Up until this point, yoga pants served two purposes: (1) for yoga or jogging exercises, and (2) to be worn as tights under skirts. Recently these utilities had come into question–particularly (2)–because it involved too much clothing.

You see, over the centuries, sorority girls have pioneered the practice of wearing less clothing than the previous generation (the sole exception to this rule being Ugg boots). In the hands of sorority girls, shorts became short shorts. Bikini underwear became thongs. Respectable airport outfits became pajama pants with “sassy” on the butt.

Thus, in a 13-1 vote, it was declare sorority law that yoga pants were to count as everyday pants. They could be worn standalone by themselves for all the world to admire.

And admire the world did. Soon non-sorority member adopted the same practice. Today I was driving past the Firestone on Forsyth when I saw an adult female doctor (she was wearing a white doctor coat) wearing black stretch pants and nothing else. It was fantastic.

So thank you, sorority presidents and women of the world, for deciding that yoga pants are the same as every day pants. I am elated that this decision was made while I’m still young enough to enjoy it.

Daily Quickie: For all you manly men out there, check out the Mancathalon.