20. The phrase, “It is what it is.”
19. Non-foaming hand soap—You think I have the time or energy to make you foam?
18. Bread = good. Bread + butter = great. Bread ‘n Butter pickles? = Taste like feet.
17. Mothballs! Not quite as tasty as gumballs.
16. East. Always a sunrise, never a sunset.
15. The downfall of the English language. It’s sad that, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive” (Shakespeare) has devolved into, “That bitch a liar!”
14. That the restaurant Panda Express actually has no meals with panda meat.
13. Bed bugs—For making their way into almost as many beds as Tiger Woods.
12. Karaoke—It’s torture no matter what side of the mic you’re on.
11. Crate & Barrel–I’ve searched high and low and found neither crates nor barrels!
Drumroll for the Top 10…
Jamey, I just discovered your blog. I had to go looking for it because Bryce quotes it all the time. I literally laughed out loud at #15. Debra Lyle
I agree – #15 is my favorite thus far!!
Perhaps #15 should be ranked a little higher??? 🙂
Simmer down there, MacDougall. #15 out of 135 ain’t bad at all.
I’m actually a huge fan of #14. Makes me crave panda meat.
Seriously Trev, “it is what it is”
Thanks Debra! Feel free to go through the Festivus archives (go to the “Pages” tab and select Festivus) to see all the best grievances from previous years.
Each new day of the Festivus grievance countdown is like Christmas morning!
If Festivus in any makes you think of Christmas, you’re not diong it right.