8 More Things Every Man Should Know

This is an addendum to my previous post, 8 Things Every Man Should Know.

Terrible idea. Terrible.

9. Never wear socks with sandals. Even in the winter. Especially not in the winter.

10. Leave a flashlight in the same place in your home. If the power ever goes out, you can use your distal memory to find it.

11. Don’t tell anyone to “calm down.” This will have the opposite effect of calming them down. People bristle when they’re told to calm down.

12. Trim. Seriously. We expect (hope?) that women will keep their hair under control, and then we walk around with a forest down there?

13. If you’re rejected, be rejected. I’ve heard so many stories from these women I’ve met on Match that men simply don’t know how to take rejection. If someone says “no” to you, that’s okay. Mocking them or trying to convince them otherwise just makes it worse.

14. Do one more situp than you did yesterday. Six packs aren’t made in a day.

15. “Gay” is not an insult. If something is gay, it means homosexual. It doesn’t mean weak or stupid.

16. Don’t name your kid anything that rhymes with “boo.” Because if they ever become a sports star, your son Bruce (Stew or Lou) will be applauded by thousands of fans who sound like they’re booing him.