Pet Peeve #19: The Pants Pouch

The men out there are going to be familiar with today’s pet peeve. Women may not have experienced it, but I bet they’ve seen it.

First, a visual explanation of the pants pouch. No, this isn’t what you think it is. This is an empty pouch of bunched up pants, a phenomenon that occurs when a man sits down. You are not looking at a photo of a Jamey erection (or Jamerection).


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Exhibit A: Pajama Pants Pouch

What we’re looking at is a classic pants pouch. My pajama pants have bunched up at the crotch for no reason.

Now, this isn’t a problem tonight. I’m sitting at my computer with Biddy. Biddy doesn’t care about pants pouches (or pants, for that matter).

However, if I were at work or on a date with a pants pouch, there is a problem. Because as I mentioned above, a pants pouch can easily be confused with an erection or a bulge of sorts. Ladies, have you made this mistake? Not that I blame you. But let’s clear the air: You do know that there are no man parts in that pouch, right? It’s just a loophole in the physics of pants.

Guys, do you have this issue? Are there pouchless pants? Is there a coy way to depress the pouch without looking like you’re touching yourself?