Pet Peeve #20: Food Explosions in the Microwave

You’ve had this happen.

You put a piece of chicken in the microwave for a perfectly reasonable 39 seconds (why 39? Because 40 seems like too much). You walk away, pour yourself a glass of orange-mango juice, dilute it with water so it’s not too sweet, maybe turn on the TV.

Then you hear the pop.

By the time you get to the microwave, your chicken is everywhere. All over the microwave. A complete mess.

It’s the worst.

The lesson I’ve taught myself is that if I think for even a millisecond that the food might explode, I should cover it with something before microwaving it. Because without fail, it will explode if I think that. And yet I ignore that premonition all the time.

On an episode of 30 Rock this past fall, Jack was trying to invent that perfect microwave. I’ll tell you what the perfect microwave is, Jack. It’s a microwave that doesn’t make my chicken explode.

Speaking of chickens (what?), let’s move on to the last matchup of Round 2. Remember that you can vote on this matchup (one vote per person) and the other matchups this week until Sunday at noon.

Mario
Mary's Son
Thumper

7 thoughts on “Pet Peeve #20: Food Explosions in the Microwave”

  1. Here’s the chicken – you should always cover anything that goes in the microwave because even if you don’t SEE the explosion – there are tiny specks that will go flying and dirty your microwave.

    Reply
  2. “And it’s a car. We’ve invented the Pontiac Aztec.”

    Another useful microwaving tip: always check the inside of carryout containers before heating them up.

    A few weeks ago I was heating up something joyfully decadent from Glory Days and just popped the container in the microwave. A few minutes later I realize that the container inside the microwave is on fire because, unbeknown to me, there was foil in there. Thankfully my quick thinking under pressure and previous emergency response training allowed me to act accordingly and not panic. After multiple intense scrubbings, the inside of my microwave (which has lasted me faithfully without issue since freshman year of college) is still black. Took an hour to clean the counters, which were strewn with ash that does not clean up well–it just smears.

    Reply
    • A similar incident happened to me in college. It looked like a lightning storm inside my microwave! I am proud to report that my microwave thankfully had many more good years left in it though, despite my tinfoil oversight. It was a soldier until it finally crapped out on me last month. Now if only I could find a new microwave that talked to me with that husky, deep Alec Baldwin voice. 🙂

      Reply
      • I can’t wait for the day when we’ll be able to choose from 100s of celebrity voices for microwaves, GPSs, etc. Judi Dench will be everywhere in my life.

        Reply
  3. Dude, two words: microwave cover. It prevents the exploded chicken from flying and sticking to the four corners of the microwave while keeping the chicken moist. It fits into the microwave perfectly, so there’s no extra storage space needed and you know where it is when needed. Good thing to have. I use it a lot.

    https://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&sugexp=ldymls&xhr=t&q=microwave+cover&cp=13&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&wrapid=tljp1300592809546024&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=6464438499875222092&sa=X&ei=O3mFTa_AEPSx0QHnsP3dCA&sqi=2&ved=0CCwQ8gIwAw#

    Reply

Leave a Reply to KatieCancel reply

Discover more from jameystegmaier.com

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue Reading