It just doesn’t happen. Most of the time I get excited to meet someone new, but nervous? Nah. I simply follow my own recommendations for a good first date and do it.
However, there is one key area of dating for which I still get nervous. And honestly, I love that I still get nervous about this thing. Because although it often feels like I’m going through motions on dates, I don’t want to feel that way.
That area is holding hands for the first time in a movie theater. I often spend most of the first half of the movie debating where or not I should hold the girl’s hand. Is it too soon? Too late? Is she interested? Am I interested? Do I want that hand free for popcorn? Did I eat too much popcorn? Am I covered in popcorn?!
And then the calm comes when I realize: I’m going to do it. This is actually happening. My hand is moving. It’s happening. It’s touching her hand, my fingers curling around hers…
…and she reciprocates.
I then spend a few minutes wondering if she’s only holding my hand because she doesn’t want it to be awkward, and then I realize how weird that would be–if she didn’t want to hold my hand, she’d just push me away.
It’s at this point that I really start to enjoy the hand-holding experience. I wonder why I didn’t try it earlier. I’m an active hand holder–my hand doesn’t just lay their limply. Neither should yours. I don’t have a formula, but I just enjoy touching her for what is probably the first time our skin has met. In my experience, the best hand holders are active, suggestive, and variable.
For those of you who are single, what makes you nervous? And those of you in long-term relationships, does anything still make you nervous? If not, do you miss it?