My second worst date story involves a woman here in St. Louis. A rather beautiful woman, really. I was somewhat surprised when she started talking to me, but I was happy to go along with it. Let’s call her Barbara.
We had a great rapport going–lots of long e-mails that varied between flirty and funny and deep–but she was a little hesitant to meet up. However, after a week of communication, I was really excited about her, and I asked her to meet me out for a drink.
I started off the date by asking a fun little question, and she told me a story in response that took a few minutes. Then, instead of doing what I should have done and told a story of my own, I asked another question.
She did not stop talking for the next 2 hours.
I’m not exaggerating. I literally could not get a word in edgewise. After it reached a certain point, I aggressively tried to interject, but my efforts were immediately cut off.
I’ve had plenty of women talk my ear off on first dates, but I had never seen anything like this. It was actually somewhat impressive that she could talk for 2 hours straight without pausing.
Fortunately she was a fairly entertaining storyteller. I was more annoyed by being cut off whenever I tried to say anything.
My favorite part was when she finally stopped talking. She took a long sip of her drink, looked up at me, and said, “Well, enough about me.”
Really? You think?
Even more surprising was the next morning when I got the following e-mail from her: “I can’t say that I felt an immediate connection or spark when meeting face to face and that is something that is really important for me, as I would imagine is for you too.”
This bewildered me. Why didn’t she end the date after 1 hour and one drink instead of blabbing on for half the evening? I completely understand that some women are not going to be attracted to me–I’m completely fine with that. But if that’s the case, I really think she should have just ended the date after one drink. (Although, that said, I prolonged my first worst date as I wrote about yesterday even though I knew I wasn’t attracted to her at all. I should probably take my own advice.)
Lesson #4: Try to balance out conversation on a first date. Be aware of your tendency to over talk or over question and go out of your way to counteract those habits.
Lesson #5: If you don’t feel a spark or attraction, don’t prolong the date.
Lesson #6: Don’t tan to much (or at all), because when you’re 30, you’ll look like you’re 40.