Note: I don’t go into details about dates on this blog. On today’s entry, I’m going to talk about a recent date, but only in the context of this date as a great date idea. This is not a commentary on the actual date or the woman with whom I went on the date. Disclaimer over.
About a year and a half ago, I wrote a blog entry listing 5 unique date ideas. I must admit that I haven’t actually tried all of these ideas. In fact, as of last week, the only one I had tried was “Cook dinner for someone, and in true Top Chef fashion, require that they bring a secret ingredient that you have to incorporate into the meal.”
However, I’ve been wanting to try one of the dates for quite some time: “Go to a bookstore.” I like dates where there’s a built-in conversation topic, and at a bookstore there are literally thousands of them.
So I finally got to go on my bookstore date last week. I realized during the date that it might be one of the best possible date concepts (for single people, people in a relationship, or even married couples), and you should definitely give it a try for the following reasons:
- You can learn so much about the other person. First, you can figure out pretty quickly if the other person loves books as much as you do. If they do, you can learn so much about the way their mind works (or worked, as a kid) thanks to the books they read. You can also talk about firsts–first book you read, first grown-up book you read, first book that turned you on, etc. Not only that, but you can learn about how the person interacts with people–do they lead you through the bookstore or do they follow you? Are they considerate of strangers in the store? Do they ask for recommendations from the staff?
- Book covers make for delightful conversation. These days, book covers are reduced to thumbnails on Amazon, quick and easy ways for us to identify books as we peruse the millions of options online. However, in person, walking through the rows of featured books is like walking through an art museum. Except better, because there are books behind these paintings.
- Lots of potential for flirtation. Flirtation is so important on dates. Every date is a way to build and explore the chemistry between the two people. In a bookstore, there are many opportunities for innocuous physical flirtation–a touch on the elbow here, a guide on the small of the back there, a tuck of the hair at the right moment, perhaps even a stolen kiss behind the stacks–as well as verbal flirtation. For example, on my date I jokingly pulled a copy of 50 Shades of Grey off the shelf, randomly picked a page and a paragraph, and dared my date to read it out loud.
- When in doubt, play the guessing game. I don’t even know how to categorize this, but we ended up guessing a lot of things. We’d pick a thick book off the shelf and both try to guess the pagecount. We did the same for price. Sometimes you need little games to fill the pauses–after all, at a bookstore you’re not talking constantly since you’re reading book flaps and reading random pages.
- You both walk away with a BOOK. Or, in my case, two books. I mostly go on drink dates, and, if things progress, dinner dates. I love food, and it’s great to walk away having eaten something new and delicious. But all you have is the memory of food from that point on. On a bookstore date, you both get to walk away with a permanent memento of the date (as the instigator of the date, I paid). I took photos of the books I was interested in as we walked–see above for the five from which I chose.
Have you ever gone on a bookstore date or a date with similar merits? Tell me about it.
This is not related to bookstore dates, but I had to tell you that I read a Gillian Flynn book recently (Sharp Objects). It was tough for me to get through. I didn’t find a single character that was likable in any way. Me and the girls I work with chose it for our book club (the hilariously named “Bookie Monster Book Club”). I just didn’t care for Flynn’s writing style – it was overly gritty and a lot of the plot seemed to be for shock value. And I can handle grit (I read Tana French and Benjamin Black any time there’s a new book), but this was too much. I hated the characters.
Anyway – I had to share, cause I saw Gone Girl in your pictures.
Regarding dates – I prefer interactive activities. Darts, for example, even though I’m terrible at darts. But hey – then it just gives the guy a chance to try to teach me technique. 🙂 In early fall once it cools off (so I don’t end up with a crazy sweaty guy), I’d even consider just going to a park for wiffle ball or kicking a soccer ball around.
“Bookie Monster Book Club” I love that name. I’m imgaining Cookie Monster in a different color fur with glasses and a book in his hand. Awesomeness!
I totally get what you with the interactive dates. My date and I went to a driving range and he taught me how to hit a golf ball properly. He was so patient. I learned so much. Yeah, do that in early or mid-fall. Definitely guarantee no crazy sweaty guy. 🙂
And to be clear – I don’t have a problem with guys who sweat. But for an early on date, I wouldn’t want him to be worried about that and nervous because of worrying about sweat … and then sweating more cause he’s nervous. Vicious cycle. Love the driving range idea – I may steal that. 🙂
Elaine–Well, I’m glad I didn’t choose Gone Girl then! I had read really good things about it in EW.
I agree, interactive dates are the way to go. At least, for second dates. For first dates I like to keep it quick, easy, and simple with drinks.
In one of my past relationships, we would often visit bookstores together during the early “getting to know each other” stage. It was a great way to find out more how he thought, and when visiting the travel section it gave us a way to talk about what we wanted in the future and places we’d want to visit (either together or separately). They were fun, but neither one of us ever did anything like the daring each other to read a racy passage out of a book, or trying to sneak a kiss between the stacks (that I can remember). Both of those sound like good things to add to that type of date, and I’ll have to remember them for next time I’m in a bookstore with a guy.
Another date idea I enjoy is visiting a museum or art exhibit together, which works really well if it’s somewhere neither person has ever been before. Discovering the exhibits together can give you something to talk about, and again can show you a deeper part of their personality while you learn about their interests. The downside to this date idea (as I recently experienced) is when the person makes the date seem more like they are trying to cross places they want to visit off of a to-do list, instead of trying to spend quality time talking and getting to know their date.
Katy–That sounds awesome about the bookstore dates! I like the idea at the travel section. There are so many conversation topics at the bookstore.
I like the distinction you mention in regards to any dates where you’re walking around and looking at an exhibit. In fact, I’m not a fan of any activity (date or non-date) that involves crossing a place off a list. Some people like to travel that way–they like to rush around Europe, seeing all the major sites in person and snapping photos before moving on to the next city/country. I feel like you’re left with a bunch of empty memories when you do that.
I did a “bookstore date” with a platonic friend. So, it wasn’t really a date, more just a fun thing to do on a rainy afternoon. Anyway, we went to the local B&N and established the rules. The first “game” was to find a book where the cover completely described the other person. We had 5 minutes. We convened back at the Starbucks/coffee shop part of the store and compared. Whoever won that round earned 1 point.
We continued on like that and the first person to 10 points won a book. It was fun because we mixed it up….like, find a book in 3 minutes that has the perfect cover. Anyway, we ended up in a tie bc each of us thought our book was the best each time. Oh well….we both left with a book!
BTW, I have an ARC of THE AGE OF MIRACLES….is it any good?
Ansley–I like the bookstore game you invented! That’s awesome.
Also, I’ve read the sample of Age of Miracles on my Kindle and really liked it. Based on that, I think it’s worth a read.
This is just a too cute date idea. I like it.
I’m late to this party, but that is a brilliant idea. I’m going to also suggest that by your pictures used, if the girl picks Ready Player One, it guarantees I ask her on another date. I’m going to ready up on those other ideas.
Joe–In this case it was me who chose Ready Player One, but I definitely learned a lot about the girl from the books she had read and wanted to read. I would say this is a fantastic date for any stage in a relationship (i.e., it works for married people too).
It guarantees I would ask you on another date 🙂