Comments on: Can Introverts Love Extroverts?

By: Red

Red — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:00:45 +0000

Consider your question. “Can introverts–those…fulfill the relationship needs of extroverts.” I think the answer is no, at least not personally. But I don’t think that’s a problem when dating.
Because introverts and extroverts re-energize in different settings, by definition, they do not contribute to building each other’s energy needs. But (as in your example) I think that’s ok, so long as they are each able to re-energize individually, and don’t resent the time that the other person takes to re-energize. If the extrovert is disappointed that the introvert needs 2 hrs of reading time alone each night, that could cause trouble. Or if the introvert really wishes they could go out with friends three times a week, that could be an issue.
But I think the most interesting part of this analysis is that being with the other person will be draining to both, because they are not alone, and they are not with a group. To be willing to expend your energy in (and on) a relationship is the important factor (to me).

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 19:51:33 +0000

Huzzah!

Life plan back on track: Date the extrovert with a heightened sense of awareness. And don’t eat pasta with my bare hands

…in public

…anymore.

By: Jamey Stegmaier

Jamey Stegmaier — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 18:04:22 +0000

Finger spaghetti would indeed be far worse.

That’s a really good point about the value to introverts to date extroverts…well, I would say “extroverts with a heightened sense of awareness.” (It’s equally important, in my opinion, for introverts to have that awareness too–we need to be aware when we’re deflecting conversation too much or isolating people instead of engaging the group, etc.)

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 15:36:20 +0000

Name: Sarah

Species: Introvert

Recurring nightmare: Party. Room full of strangers eating finger foods. (Could be worse. Could be spaghetti.) Alone, in limbo, in that middle ground between clusters of happy chitchatty people, with no way to break into the group. Panic sets in. The kind of panic that, were it to happen to Jamey Stegmaier, would end with a loincloth.

Salvation: An extrovert to throw me a lifeline that brings me into the group.

Life plan: Date the extroverts. They’ll save you from loincloth purgatory.

(…or…crud…on second thought: Avoid the extroverts. They’ll drag you to those parties. Now I’m confused again.)