Pet Please #78: Any Costume Can Be Sexy on Halloween
I’ve written about Halloween on the blog in the past, even touching upon this subject. But it deserves its own pet please.
There were a number of years when I thought that I’d never enjoy Halloween as much as I did when I was a kid. Back then, the costumes–despite how incredible they were, thanks to my mother’s craftsmanship–were ancillary to the candy. We didn’t have access to many sweets during the year, so I looked forward to the windfall of Halloween all year.
Then I got too old to trick-or-treat, and Halloween was just an annoying holiday for a while. Through high school and college I still had to dress up, but there was no candy involved.
It was only in my mid-20s that I started to realize that Halloween for adults gives you something better than candy: eye candy. As you’re well aware, the vast majority of costumes have “sexy” on the front of them, particularly female costumes. Sexy nurse. Sexy flight attendant. Sexy cat (which, if you think about it, is really weird. Aside from animated movies, animals should not be sexy).
The sexy phenomenon came to my attention today when alert reader Amanda sent me a link to the photo you see here. Yes, these women are wearing sexy Bert and Ernie costumes. How amazing is Halloween?!?
I’d like to make some suggestions for future sexy costumes for women (ladies, feel free to make suggestions for men in the comments):
- Sexy aardvark
- Sexy bodycast wearer
- Sexy Deadliest Catch fisherwoman
- Sexy Steve Buscemi
- Sexy grandmother
- Sexy college football mascot
- Sexy two-girls-one-cup girl
What is the sexiest outfit you’ve ever worn for Halloween?
It wasn’t exactly Halloween, and I did keep a pair of boxers on, but you’ll recall that I once pulled a “Brad Pitt in Fight Club Wearing (Almost) Nothing but Rubber Gloves” and straddled a very unsuspecting Sonya Bamba on our couch a loooong time ago. I think that was the highlight of my sexy costume wearing. Hint for anyone considering this, it works a lot better when you’re 24 and have abs that can pass for Brad Pitt’s than when you’re pushing 32 with abs that more closely resemble Paul Giammati’s.
Also, have you considered dressing as “A Survivor’s True Tale of Survival Against All Odds Loincloth Man”? That could be a sexy male costume if most of the loincloths weren’t fashioned from cat hair and duct tape.
Trev–I like the Loincloth Man idea–particularly one made out of cat hair and duct tape (as most of my loincloths are), but I have a very specific idea that I’m going with this year.
By the way, did you get excited to see that you had 2 comments and eagerly read them early hoping to hear about some sexy costumes your female readers had worn…only to be disappointed that both of the comments were from me?
Maybe a little bit.
For costumes I’ve actually worn, it’s a toss up between the Sexy Sailor girl, and Sexy Scuba Diver (where I learned wearing just a bikini and flippers in late October meant I was freezing the whole night, and trying to walk in flippers isn’t the best idea).
This year’s costume might surpass both of those, as my current top choice is Sexy Cook… which might take a little liquid courage to actually wear in public.
Also, I’m with Trev here, and think you should give Loincloth Man a shot… but maybe without the cat hair.
Katy–It sounds like you are well versed in the sexy costume department! Sexy Scuba Diver sounds quite amusing.
My cats would be pretty mad if I didn’t use all the hair I’ve been saving…
See, I would have thought you would like the sexy cat thing.
How about a Sexy Turtle? I’ve seen Sexy Saran Wrap (the costume is just as it sounds….just a couple rolls of Saran Wrap….) and Sexy Twister Game. Maybe, in honor of your newly successful campaign, you could create a Sexy Grape costume?
I like the Sexy Saran Wrap idea a lot–much better than aluminum foil. How do you envision Sexy Grape?
Funny thing…I just googled it to see if there was one to refer to….AND THERE IS!
http://www.brandsonsale.com/ca-002551.html
Although, I was thinking more of a bikini top with clusters of grapes and a leaf thong bottom. But hey, that may be TOO slutty!
I like your idea better.
Oh, I know what you are talking about!
http://www.drunktiki.com/timthumb/timthumb.php?src=http://www.drunktiki.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/twister-costume-383×500.jpg&w=400&h=200&zc=2&q=100
This is a great costume. Think about it, Jamey.
Ha ha ha…that’s awesome!
I was Eve two years ago. Sexy, albeit sacrilegious.
Most of my Halloween costumes have tended more toward cute than sexy (the year John and I were Raggedy Ann and Andy we were *adorable* (the comment he got was “dude, you must really love her”) but probably my sexiest was Santa’s elf. Long hat, green tights, you get the picture. Ahh, college. College was fun.
Photos of Eve and Santa’s Elf would benefit my readers.
Gah, if there were such a photo it probably would be grainy and horrible I fear. My camera at that point was a Kodak electrolite…110 film. I think you are too young to know what I am talking about.
A few years ago I went as what was supposed to be Gretel from Hansel and Gretel, but I really looked like the St. Pauli’s Girl once it was all said and done. Heaving cleavage accentuated by an under-the-bust corset, with matching thigh high stockings and a short, flouncy skirt.
My friends called me “Beer Wench” all night and requested constant refills on their drinks.
You know, I am looking for a Festivus bartender…
So hilarious! I’ve never done sexy anything for Halloween, but what about sexy ladybug, or sexy Tim Burton for a guy?
I’ve tried the sexy ladybug. Doesn’t go over well with the ladies.
I think you must be doing it wrong then. Jasper was a hit when he dressed up like a Ladybug (to match my costume) a couple of years ago.
http://katyisms.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/photo-2.jpg
Wow. That is a ridiculously cute ladybug dog.