Things I Shouldn’t Say During Movember

Last night I had a few friends over for game night. At some point in the evening we were talking about the lack of overhead lighting in my condo, and I said, “I like dim lighting.”

Under normal circumstances, this would be a normal preferential statement. But look to the left at my current photo and imagine me saying, “I like dim lighting.”

Yeah. Welcome to Creepy Town.

I’ve now realized that there are a whole host of normal phrases that are suddenly really sketchy because of the thin coating of bristles under my nose. No matter that I’m doing it for men’s cancer awareness month, Movember. Β No matter that I’m doing it to honor my father, who is a cancer survivor.

No matter the intent, it’s has the effect of making normal statements sound creepy. How in the world am I going to date this month?

So I need your help. Think of all the innocuous statements I need to avoid saying this month and post them in the comments below. Anything goes. I assume there will be some phrases with the word “motorboat” that I need to avoid (because I talk SO much about motorboats). If there’s one that I really love, I’ll post it as the permanent caption on this photo.

Sigh. It feels so weird to have this thing on my lip. (Add that line to the list.)