You Decide: Should I Grow a Movember Mustache?

Me and Dad

Two polls in three days? I know. It’s too much. But it’ll make sense in a minute.

I’m trying to decide if I should grow a Movember Mustache (Mostache? Movemstache? Mustover?). And I want you to decide for me.

Now, wait a minute–don’t get all clicky clicky on me yet. Of course you want to see me in some ridiculous mustache. But I want you to weigh the pros and the cons first.

Pros:

  • Apparently growing a Mostache helps raise awareness for men to check their testicles and prostate for cancer. I think that’s the point of all this. It’s more than just an excuse for Portlandians to grow more facial hair, right?
  • My father had cancer in his early 20s and beat the pants off of it, so perhaps this would be a cool way of honoring him. His birthday is also coming up. And he used to rock a pretty awesome mustache (see photo). So maybe he’ll enjoy this. Maybe it’s something we can both do this month. I’m pretty sure his mustache will end up much cooler than mine, though.
  • I will look silly within a few days, much less by month’s end. Perhaps this will make you happy.
  • I won’t have to shave my upper lip for a while. That’ll save me 30 seconds every morning. That’s 30 more seconds of sleep.
  • Festivus is on December 1, so I’ll be clean shaven for the biggest party of the year.

Cons:

  • Kissing me in November will be unbearable. Ladies, if you have plans on kissing me this month, do not vote “yes” to Mostache. Also, please tell me if you plan on kissing me. That type of information is helpful to know in advance.
  • You know how some guys look really nice with a little stubble? I am not one of those guys. The phases of me not shaving for a few days go from trashy to creepy to unknown (I haven’t gotten past the creepy stage without shaving). Notice that there is no “manly” or “handsome” phase in there.
  • I don’t really buy into the whole “mustaches for cancer awareness” thing. I mean, do people really look at mustaches in November and think, “Hey, I’m going to roll my balls between my forefinger and thumb to check for lumps the next chance I get?” That’s not really the effect I’m going for if/when I grow facial hair. I guess the point is: Is this really helping anyone, or, as I noted above, is it just an excuse for men to grow facial hair for a month?

You tell me. I reserve the right to change my mind about this at any time, but I will try to respect the vote.