The infamous Bryce kindly took the time to rank Festivus grievances 21-30. Read the following to grieve with us:
30. Twilight. Period. Bad writing Bad role models for teenage girls. And since when do vampires sparkle. (Followed by: Team Edward!)
29. Theme parties that make you feel sad that no one has asked you to be a bridesmaid. [The theme of the party was, “always a bridesmaid, always a groomsman.” –Jamey]
28. I work in a school library, and coworkers who I don’t know very well and am not curious about their sexual proclivities want to talk to me about scenes from 50 Shades of Grey. I haven’t read it. I haven’t read it.
27. Segways are still too expensive.
26. Non-celebrities asking celebrities to the prom—don’t you know that Timberlake has better things to do (like SNL)?
25. This is the final year of 30 Rock and The Office.
24. New Girl isn’t on every day. It should be.
23. There are only so many rubber bands I can throw to my cats before my arm gets tired.
22. Hostess down! Now I have to eat Little Debbies.
21. Mitt Romney gets a binder full of women but I don’t? The injustice!
The countdown continues tomorrow.
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