Movie Contrivance #17: Heavy Eye Makeup When It Doesn’t Make Sense

On Saturday I saw my favorite movie of the year so far, Warm Bodies. It’s essentially Romeo and Juliet with zombies, which sounds hokey, but it’s incredibly well done. The protagonist is a zombie, so for the first time, you get to see what a 20-something zombie thinks about all day.

The main female lead is played by the stunning Teresa Palmer. While she never truly looks as dirty as one might look while living in a post-apocalyptic world, one thing stands out: She wears so little eye makeup that it looks like she isn’t wearing anything at all.

I mention this because all too often I see female characters on TV and in movies who wear way too much eye makeup when it doesn’t make sense at all. Just recently I saw two instances of this. The first was in an ad for an upcoming show called Defiance, which is set in post-apocalyptic St. Louis (naturally I’m very curious about it). The featured woman on the ad is smothered in eye makeup. Perhaps female readers can clear this up: If you’re fighting for survival in a dystopian world, would it even occur to you to wear any eye makeup, much less enough to cause you to spend all day wincing away stray mascara?

The worst transgression actually appeared in the non-apocalyptic movie Ted, which I saw on DVD a few months ago. Neat concept, decent movie, some good laughs. It also features the beautiful Mila Kunis wearing more eye makeup than Ray Lewis.

There is a scene late in the movie where Mila Kunis is in the shower, and Ted knocks on the door to her apartment. She rushes out of the shower, barely putting on a towel before answering the door.

And she’s already wearing globs of eye makeup.

How is that even possible? There isn’t a logical explanation for it–there was no time between the shower and the door to put on the eye makeup. The only possible explanation I can think of is that Mila Kunis wants us to think that she’s not wearing makeup at all, that her eyes always look like that. Which is just weird.

Have you ever noticed this? Perhaps I’m more sensitive to eye makeup than the average person due to my distaste for makeup in general.