Build a Better Diaper

pixie-scientific-smart-diaperI have cats, not kids. But someday I might want to have kids, and those kids will need to wear diapers. Fortunately, diaper technology is rapidly improving–these aren’t your grandmother’s diapers we’re talking about here (actually, they might be your grandmother’s diapers. That is a real thing).

Normally diaper technology would not be on my radar–it’s possibly the least likely Google Alert I’d ever set, down there with “sauerkraut recipes” and “theaters where you’re allowed to text during the movie.” But two articles on Gizmag recently caught my attention because frankly, they’re pretty brilliant.

The first concept is TweetPee. It’s a little device that clips onto your child’s diaper that alerts you when the child has peed. Which is awesome. My experience with couples who have young kids is that 50 percent of their conversations are about whether or not their child’s diaper needs to be changed. No more. You can get a tweet instead.

I think that concept is even better when applied to adult diapers. Imagine sitting on the rocking chair on your front porch, smoking your pipe and watching the neighborhood kids play pickle ball or whatever the sport of the future is. Suddenly you get a text. Who could that be? Your granddaughter wanting to tell you about her piano recital? Your best friend wanting to brag about his great week in your fantasy pickle ball league? Nope–it’s Twitter, informing you that you just peed your pants. How awesome is that? No more sitting around in a pool of your own urine thanks to TweetPee.

The other innovation is the Smart Diaper. The Smart Diaper has a little patch in the crotch of the diaper that analyzes your child’s urine. If it detects any abnormalities that are indicative of diseases, it will turn a certain color so you know to take your child to the doctor. Some Japanese toilets have done this for years, but that doesn’t help infants.

With advances like these, I can’t wait to see how awesome diapers will be by the time I have kids.

13 thoughts on “Build a Better Diaper”

  1. I’m not going to lie. TweetPee sounds like the most disturbing and terrible idea ever invented. Sure, it’s going to inform you that your child has wet themselves, but does it have to do it in a way that ANYONE in the world can see that it’s happened? Do you really want everyone who follows you knowing about it?

    Even worse, imagine that you’re using it for yourself.

    …Yeah, no thanks.

    Reply
    • I think it’s probably a direct message, not a public tweet. Although I might make mine public if I were an old dude. By that point I won’t care.

      Reply
      • That’s probably true, but even so, they should really be using something more private. Like an email or a text. This is definitely not something that should be used with social media.

        Reply
  2. I’m not sure if this is sarcasm or not…. although I think for Oldfolks homes tweetpee’s WOULD be good on adult diapers. Then (hopefully) invalids won’t have to wait hours for a nurse to come, but will be tended to right away.

    Reply
  3. Heh, in college I had a professor who had been a diaper designer. He was also a funny guy and told us of stories where he told dates what he did for a living. Shitty business, crappy customers, and all that. He was also a folk musician and he had written the diaper designer song. One of the more educating experiences at college for me…

    Reply
  4. This post is mostly about the tweeting diaper.

    This sounds like another way for parents to rely on technology to raise their children. Lazy parenting. People now are so busy that they can’t be bothered to check on the needs of their own child? The have to receive tweets to remind them to be parents? …wow. That makes me sad for the kids in these “technological advances”…

    Maybe I’m just old fashioned when it comes to raising babies, but I have never been so busy that I’ve needed a tweet about a child either.

    Reply
    • this would be for the over protective bubble parents who can’t wait for the child to complain or get fussy and then walk over and say “what’s wrong? Does your diaper need to be changed?” But who need to be told right away what is happening, so even the slightest dampness could be immediately removed. These would be the parents who also have the baby wipe warmer. etc.

      Reply
  5. When my older brother was a toddler, but still in diapers, I’ve been told that he would bring my mom a new diaper and lay down on the floor to be changed right after he pottied in his diaper. I guess in a way, he was his own TweetPee. Ha!

    Reply
  6. Ok, if I was attending a baby shower and the mom-to-be unwrapped a TweetPee, I would laugh at the person who gave the gift AND the future momma (but only if she acts excited about it). My cousin got a Pocket Nanny for her shower and it’s like an alarm clock in your pocket that reminds you to do really difficult stuff like feeding, bathing and diapering your child.

    WHO DOES THESE THINGS?!?!?!?!?!

    Reply
  7. Now just imagine going to the movies and seeing a “concerned parent” using TweetPee (in this scenario the baby is not present, but the app/alerts are still running on the parent’s phone)…

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Preston MooreCancel reply

Discover more from jameystegmaier.com

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue Reading