Clean Fingers, Sticky Fingers

wings

This is an actual photo from tonight’s wingfest. All napkins represented here are my own.

I’m a sucker for “Best Places for Buffalo Wings” lists. Every indie newspaper and foodie blog in every city has one. I simply need to try every wing so I decide which one is the best. (For the record, Culpepper’s is my favorite in St. Louis).

Today I found myself at Pat’s Bar & Grill, which, as UrbanSpoon informed me, has some of the best wings in St. Louis. I was meeting a friend there (opposed to a date), so I figured getting wings was fine. I didn’t need to make a good impression.

You see, I eat wings with my fingers. I think the flavor of bone-in wings is far superior to boneless, but I don’t want sauce smeared all over my face. So I pry the meat free of the bone, dip it in the excess sauce, and enjoy.

By the end of the meal, I had a huge pile of sticky, greasy napkins on my side of the table. It was pretty gross.

The odd thing is, I’ve seen people eat things that are as messy or even messier than wings, and no one uses as many napkins as I do. Maybe they’re finger lickers. Maybe they don’t mind having the sauce on their fingers for the majority of the meal. I don’t know how they do it, but somehow most people are able to use a single napkin when I end up using 8-10.

What’s your secret? How do you use so few napkins? I feel like I could save a lot of trees and look less like a pig when I eat messy things if I knew how you people do it.