Pet Please #93: When You Get the Eyelash Out of Your Eye on the First Attempt

puss_in_boots_eyesI feel like I get eyelashes in my eyes more often than the average person.

Granted, I have no idea how often the average person gets eyelashes in their eye. Maybe twice a week? For me, it’s at least once a day.

Usually it comes out of nowhere. I’m sitting at the computer, minding my own business, when out of nowhere THERE IS SOMETHING ATTACKING MY CORNEA WITH AN ADAMANTIUM BLADE.

I rush to the bathroom and look at my eye in the mirror. This is step one of this pet please: Either the eyelash is easily visible thanks to its color and location in my eye, or it’s one of those nearly invisible lashes that gets under your eyelid. If it’s the former, we’ve just activated this pet please.

But the pet please isn’t complete without step two: Getting the damn thing out of my eye. Fortunately I don’t wear contacts. However, if I did wear contacts, I would be comfortable touching my eye. That’s not the case.

So the ideal step two is when a small portion of the eyelash is still hanging onto the exterior of my eyelid. Thus I don’t have to touch my eye at all–I just need to carefully extract it from the others.

It instantly feels better. You know what I’m talking about. It’s one of those things–like finally going to the bathroom after holding it for way too long on a road trip–that goes from feeling absolutely terrible to feeling amazing and clear and normal again within a split second. Night and day, just like that. It’s the best. Particularly when it’s an easy extraction.

I can’t even imagine what it feels like to get an eyelash in your eye if you’re the type of woman who wears goop on your eyelashes. That must really burn.