Top 10 Festivus Pet Pleases

Festivus

The Festivus grievance whiteboards of 2013.

The true spirit of Festivus is grieving, not talking about what you’re thankful for. And trust me, there was plenty of grieving last night–my panel of judges will soon be reviewing the grievances for the Top 40 list.

But in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I devoted a small section of the whiteboard to pet pleases and things we’re thankful for. In no particular order, here are my 10 favorites:

  • Those effing Keebler elves and their g*ddamn cookies with brownies inside.  (Followed by the comment: There are cookies with brownies inside??!!!)
  • The unrated “Blurred Lines” video.
  • The Kitchen Sink restaurant is now close enough for me to roll myself there on the wheelchair I will need if I keep eating there. And I will. Oh, I will.
  • Jobs where pants are optional.
  • Onesie PJs for adults.
  • Toronto’s mayor
  • Pope Francis: Who am I to judge his awesomeness?
  • Leggings as pants.

Actually, now that I’ve typed them up, there were only 8 pet pleases! Well, someone wrote “Red Sox”…yeah, that’s not going to make the list. So I leave it to you to complete the Top 10. What are you most thankful for in 2013?