RICHMOND, Virginia (AP) – After much deliberation, sources confirmed today that my new nephew, James, has 10 toes.
After exiting the womb of my sister on Friday, a number of photos were taken of James. As members of the press quickly noticed, none of the photos included his toes.
“We were pretty busy holding James and making sure Emily was comfortable,” said two-time Grandmother of the Year, my mother. “We simply forgot to count his toes.”
When this came to the attention of my alert and adorable and amazing niece, Anna went to work counting James’ toes.
“She actually only knows the numbers 1, 2, and 10,” said Anna’s father and awesome brother-in-law Joel. “So it’s a good thing that the normal number of toes happens to be one of those numbers.”
When Anna confirmed that James did indeed have 10 toes, Facebook nearly had to add a new server to accommodate the sheer number of likes, comments, and suggestions of other things to count (eyes, ears, nose, and even fingers).
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg.
Proud grandfather Jay supervised the official toe counting and confirmed the total, noting that a recount may be necessary on a future date when I get to see my nephew for the first time.
James decided not to comment on this article.