What I Say in My Sleep

screen322x572Three months ago, I learned about and started using an app called Sleep Talk. Every night, I activate the app and place my phone on my headrest. When I wake up in the morning, I can look at any point in the night when I made any sound and play it back.

Usually the sounds are pretty standard nighttime sounds: snoring, sneezing, farting, telling the cats to stop attacking each other. But a few times a week for a few seconds, I’ll say some pretty weird stuff. It’s amazing.

I discovered this morning that the app has a built-in function to send specific clips to custom URLs so I can share them with anyone and everyone. So I picked some of my favorites from the last month and posted them online. If you’re on board for a weird little journey into what happens in my bed at 2:00 am, see below:

  • We’re right next to it (part 1 and part 2): I’m so curious about what we were next to!
  • Chotto stop (here): Some of my favorite clips feature me mixing Japanese (a language I speak but haven’t used in many years) and English (my primary language). This is one of them. “Chotto” means “a little.”
  • Nonsense (here): I think this is me mixing Japanese words and English words within the same words, which adds up to nonsense.
  • Doba doba doooh (here): I really, truly hope this clip makes you laugh even close to as much as it makes me laugh. It makes no sense at all, but I say it in this sing-song voice that just delights me. So, so weird. I’ve been listening to this all day, and I can’t get enough of it.

This is 100% real, folks. This is what I say in my sleep. If you’ve been using the app since my previous sleep talk post, do you have any clips to share?

13 thoughts on “What I Say in My Sleep”

  1. These are hilarious!

    I think I’m most surprised at how clearly you’re speaking in those first two. I figured you would sound kind of groggy, but it’s the exact opposite. You sound really alert!

    Reply
  2. These are hysterical. You sounded exactly like yourself except in the last one. I vote for an exorcism 🙂

    Reply

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