How Much Did the Tooth Fairy Pay You for Your Teeth?

Based on prorated data from this 2015 survey of parents, most tooth fairies in 2017 pay about $5 per tooth. Kids have 20 baby teeth, so over the span of a few years, they’re netting about $100.

Back in the late ’80s, I was getting $1 per tooth at best. So my net revenue was about $20.

This got me thinking that I made a crucial mistake when I was a kid: I sold my teeth to the tooth fairy the same night that they fell out. I was thinking too much about immediate dividends instead of a long-term payout.

Clearly, I should have locked those teeth in a safe-deposit box to keep them from the tiny opportunistic fingers of the tooth fairy. If I put those same 20 teeth under my pillow today, I’d wake up with a crisp $100 bill under my pillow (or lots of $5s).

That’s a 500% return on investment after only 25 years. I don’t know much about the market volatility of teeth, but that seems like a pretty good rate.

If I ever have kids, I’ll share this life lesson with them so they don’t repeat the mistakes of my youth.

How much did the tooth fairy pay for your teeth? If you have kids now, does the tooth fairy pay them more?