Kickstarter is a site where you can post a project–usually one in progress–and seek funding from friends, family, and strangers. You set a goal, and if you don’t reach that goal, nobody pays a dime.

The coolest part about Kickstarter is that it allows you to customize ways to thank people for giving to your project. For example, if you’re seeking funding to sail across the country in a hot air balloon, you might offer people who contribute at the $25 level some special photos from the trip. This sets it apart from most other websites–there’s always a cool project on Kickstarter to check out, and people find really cool ways to thank their backers.

I started thinking about Kickstarter as a way to not just fund a project, but also sell variations of a completed project, when I saw Robin Sloan’s Kickstarter entry. Robin, a blogger with a decent audience but no published novels to his name, decided to write a novella in a month and seek funding during that time. I interviewed Robin for a featurette in the innovation book I’m writing, and he explained that the funding wasn’t paying his bills or stuffing his pockets, but rather every penny was going into making the books he sold on Kickstarter as cool as possible. I’m really looking forward to getting my book in the mail, as I’m sure it’s going to different than any other book I’ve read.

That brings me back to Josh’s project. When I was getting excited about Robin’s project, I sent a link over to Josh, who at the time was wrapping up his short-story collection, In Search of Monsters. I encouraged Josh to post on Kickstarter, and so he proposed the project to them, was accepted, and brainstormed some iterations of giving levels.

Check out the result on Kickstarter by clicking this link and then come back to read why I’m so excited about this.

That brings me to today. I’m not only excited because Josh used some of my ideas (the $19 level and the $49 level), but also because Josh has created an incredible platform for spreading the word about his book. I’ll say it right here: This is the coolest way to sell a book experience, ever.

Josh has done two specific things very well:

1. He has created a built-in platform for sharing his work beyond point-of-purchase. The most expensive three levels are there for people to share Josh’s work with other people. Because that’s the whole point for an emerging author: You’re trying to build an audience. Instead of just selling individual books, why not sell book packages like Josh does.
2. He has created a unique story behind the book itself. Check out the last level, the choose-your-own adventure level. That’s just cool. And look at the level I created, the $19 special edition. It includes commentary preceding every short story about how Josh thought of the story and what aspects of the story are “true.” That one is perfect for writers who are curious about the creative process. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the other level I thought of, the $49 level. Have you ever shared a short story collection with a friend but preempted the gift by saying, “Stories 1, 2, and 9 are awesome, but the rest are only so-so”? Not with the $49 level. With that level you get a signed special edition of the book along with 3 “mini” copies of the book that only include your favorite stories. That way you can recommend them with friends without a disclaimer.

Could all of this be done without Kickstarter? Sure. Any author could make a website and feature different giving levels. But Kickstarter shows each potential buyer how many other people are interested in the project–people want to read what other people are reading.

Also, Kickstarter is one of the first uniquely browseable websites I’ve seen in a long time. Most websites I go to once, subscribe to the feed, and then never visit again. But I truly enjoy looking around on Kickstarter to see what types of projects are on there and the types of incentives for buying into those projects. Thus Kickstarter is a great hub for random browsing and discovery.

Even if you have no intention of contributing to Josh’s project, I think what he’s put together here is certainly worth sharing. Send a link to your writer and entrepreneur friends. This is a platform to take quite seriously.

Today is Josh’s birthday. In honor of this auspicious occasion, I asked him to write an entry he’s been stewing over for a week or so. You won’t be disappointed.

The date is May 2, 2009. On my way to my sister’s wedding, I stop to get gas at a skuzzy little station just west of the middle of nowhere in the heart of Virginia. I fill up the tank and continue on my way. This is where my story begins. Had I not stopped at that particular gas station on that particular day, you wouldn’t be reading this.

As I drive onward, my head fills with the thoughts of the day to follow. Yes, my younger sister is about to take a ride on the matrimony pony, a strange and unnerving thought, but at least I’ll soon be able to call home without having to first listen to 15 minutes of wedding planning drama. So, lose a sister, gain 15 minutes of my life back once a week. Plus, there will be free beer. And not just any beer. Newcastle, served straight from the keg. The beer of the Gods. Sweet. Delicious. Pure. I press my foot to the accelerator, hoping the pregame has not started without me.

My car, a 2006 Corolla, sputters in response. Sputters, then outright dies. No power steering. No power brakes. Cursing, I guide the disabled car to the side of the country road and put my weight on the brakes to bring it to a halt. Great. This is not happening, I think to myself.

But it is. I call Geico who sort of promptly sends a tow truck to my rescue. Thank God I paid for that roadside assistance I thought I’d never need.  I then call my Dad, who picks Kendall and me up and takes us the rest of the way to the wedding. We’re still at least two hours early, which gives me plenty of time to calm my frazzled nerves with a little chemical assistance. Thanks, Newcastle.

The wedding is nice. I look slammin’ in my rented tux. That delicious delicious beer flows like wine. And despite reports to the contrary, I do NOT cry.

That Tuesday I get a call from the dealership to where I had the car towed. The following is a verbatim transcript of that conversation.

          Dealership: Mr. Covington, did you get gas just before your car broke down?

          Me: Yeah…

Dealership: Ah. Well, we found your gas tank to be full of a combination of diesel fuel and water. That’s what caused the problem.

          Me: F#@$%!

For those of you that don’t know much about cars, putting diesel fuel in a gasoline tank is really bad.  Like, exceedingly bad. I’m talking $1900 worth of damage bad.

So upon hearing the news, I put on my angry face and leave work in the middle of the day, hop into my sister’s car (which she has graciously and unknowingly loaned to me while on her honeymoon), and drive back to just west of middle of nowhere to pay the skuzzy gas station a second visit. I’m crazy ticked off, but also a little nervous that perhaps the whole thing somehow my fault, that after a dozen years of driving and pumping gas, I’ve made a fatal, totally boneheaded mistake. As it turns out, my fears are unfounded.

The station does not sell diesel fuel.

Yes, you read that correctly. So how, you may ask, does a gas station in 2009, even a skuzzy gas station in Nowheresville, VA, come to dispense diesel fuel from an unleaded pump and get away with it? That’s what I wanted to know, so I proceeded to don my Encyclopedia Brown hat to find out.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll spare the bloody details of much of the story here. Trust me when I say, it gets a bit ugly. Thankfully though my insurance agrees to pay for all but $500 worth of the damage. And yes, after a half dozen phone calls, I am able to track down the fuel supplier to that particular station. No, I am not able to get him to admit to wrongdoing or negligence. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. It’s cool, I’ll see him in court.

So with fault secured in my mind, and a plan of action on how to collect from the party at fault, I allow the dealership to proceed with the repairs. As my sister returns from her honeymoon, I trade her borrowed car for a rental courtesy of Geico. Soon this will all be but a happy memory, I think, along with a simple, marginally entertaining one-part JoshVision entry.

Wrong.

A few days later, I get another call from the Toyota Dealership. My car is fixed, she says. Hooray! But, wait, why is there still worry in her voice?

Next time on JoshVision:

Did the Toyota Dealership REALLY wreck my car test driving it after finishing the repairs? The answer may surprise you!

And…

My probable trip to small claims court!

Happy birthday, Josh. For more JoshVision, click here.

One quick side note, in a shameless effort to get Jamey some cheap search engine traffic, I’ll be peppering this post with as many gratuitous uses of phrases like Economic Crisis, Bailout Bill, and Britney Spears as possible. 

And away we go:

1.  Don’t Panic

Work hard, spend wisely, protect your investments, and keep a good level head on your shoulders.  Take control of things you can and try not to stress about those you can’t.  If you’re nervous about bank failures and market crashes, diversify your investments as much as possible.  For those of you with a low tolerance for risk, I suggest placing your nest egg in a high interest savings account backed by an FDIC insured institution or even buying government bonds.  If you’re feeling up for it, snag some of the bargain stocks that are on the market for a good long term investment.  Just be prepared to ride out those ups and downs.  JoshVision’s sleeper stock pick-United States Steel Corp (X).  Thank me later.

2.  Duct tape

As my father likes to say “It aint broke, it just lacks duct tape.” Take that advice with a grain of salt though-he’s not exactly a licensed contractor.  But I agree with him that if duct tape can’t fix the economy, then nothing can.  Plus, if you get really desperate, you can always drop a roll in a pot of boiling water to make a nice hearty and delicious broth.  A perfect meal for any low budget occasion.

3.  Go Green

I’m actually not really sure what this means but I saw some headline on CNN about it.  If it means drinking more Guinness and Bailey’s Irish Cream, then I’m way ahead of you, America.

4.  “Recession proof” your home

Remember those rolls of plastic sheets the media told us to buy a few years ago in case of horrific biological terrorist attack?  Time to put them to use.  Simply wrap your home in as many sheets as you can get your hands on.  Secure with any duct tape you have left over from dinner.  Keep that nasty recession out!  And if you have them, use as many of those plastic plug things for your electrical sockets as you can get your hands on.  This is also a great way to keep your home fresh.

5. Panic

Of course you need to panic!  This is freak out time, people!  Have you been watching the news?  It’s a G-damn Economic Crisis!  Put your money into a giant coffee can, pack up the SUV and take your kids and your pets and move far far away from this madness.  Do it now!  This is a world where a peanut butter cookie can kill a man!  What other signs do you need?

That’s it, Britney Spears fans.  Follow these simple tactics and we’ll all make it out of this Economic Crisis in one piece.  Now let’s get out there and show the world the true resolve of this great country.

Bailout bill!

QOD: One of the most common literary and cinematic devices is the “fish out of water,” the guy who leaves the only place he knows well and ventures into a land or a situation where he’s in over his head. The device I understand. The expression, not so much. If you take a fish out of the water, doesn’t it just die?

Answer: It’s true, the “fish out of water” is one of the most tired and clichéd of literary devices.  It’s also true that a literal fish out of water will die.  What you’re missing though, Jamey, is the slow and painful way that it dies.  What’s more entertaining than taking a living creature, snatching it from its natural environment into one it cannot possibly survive in, then watching as it flops around wildly, slowly and painfully suffocating to death?  It’s hilarious!  Would other similes such as “pigeon out of sky” or “puma out of jungle” hold the same heft, the same literal gravitas, as “fish out of water”?  I surely think not.

Personally, I prefer to stick with the “pigeon out of sky” device in which the main character just sort of struts around a bit and poops on stuff.  Hello bestseller. 

Answer: Milk and honey are both closely associated with a prosperous life.  I myself have been living the high life since becoming the recent benefactor of a very lucrative 3% cost of living raise.  You know what I had for dinner the first night to celebrate?  A glass of chocolate milk and a spoonful of honey.  Decadent and delicious.

So why are milk and honey connected to prosperity?  Well for one, both milk and honey are things that people like, aside from the lactose intolerant and anti-bee-ites we keep hearing about on the news.  Milk is especially good.  It helps build strong bodies.  Except for soy milk.  That stuff is simply pure concentrated evil.

*Fact: Soy milk is/was the drink of choice of Adolf Hitler, Darth Vader, The Joker, and Kevin Spacey’s character in Se7en.  Prove me wrong, Wikipedia.

The second reason for the association calls back to our humble origins as a species.  Back when Fred Flintstone roamed the earth, only the very successful, very smart, and very lucky were fortunate enough to dine on milk and honey every night.  Everyone else jealously sat in their caves and nursed bee stings and various cow hoof injuries, both hating and secretly wanting to be one of the milk and honey people. 

*Fact:- The quest for honey was actually the second leading cause of death in early man.  The quest for milk was a pathetic eleventh.

So there you go, Stegmaier.  Next week’s question—who actually lives in this mythical and wonderful land of milk and honey?  My short answer: cows, goats, new mothers, and bees.  Lots of bees. 

A: While it’s not exactly a tit for tat (pardon the pun) arrangement to have the bride retrieving her bouquet from the trousers of her new husband, even if it were, I completely understand why it’s not common practice. Reaching under the dress for the garter is 100% typical dude. It’s manly and awesome. That singular action exemplifies the best principal of marriage–that you now own that bitch and can therefore do anything you want to her, even with her parents watching! Stick your head right up her dress! So what? Hell, her parents will probably even cheer you on. Grandma might even get into the act (of cheering, not de-gartering).

The bride on the other hand must hold onto at least some respect. She’s a lady after all, and can’t be reaching all nimbly bimbly into someone’s pants, even if he is her new husband. That type of behavior is reserved only for the strict privacy of a honeymoon suite with the lights off and the door locked. Those are the rules.

Kendall is great at picking out presents. Three months prior to Christmas, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Bar Mitzvahs and any other day that requires a gift, Kendall starts scheming and planning. And she can’t simply ask the person what they want or check a registry, no, it has to be a hand chosen—and of course sentimental—gift.

Being as I’m the object of her affections, this is a trait that works out well for me. For my most recent birthday, she gave me Dwight Schrute and Michael Scott bobbleheads. The best part is that Michael talks, so now I can sit at my desk and hear “Dinkin Flicka” and “That’s what she said!” as many times as my heart desires. If that’s not awesome, then I must seriously be mistaken on what awesome is.

This Christmas I made it known in no uncertain terms that I wanted a Wii. Little did I know that despite the Wii being out for a couple of years, it’s still tough to find, and nearly impossible to track down in December. But Kendall was willing to go to any and all lengths to find one. She called Wal-Mart daily, staked out Target, and went in Circuit City so many times that they learned her name. Finally, after what had already been an exhaustive search, she learned that Best Buy was receiving a shipment of Wiis. A small shipment. So Kendall camped outside Best Buy all night risking rape and murder at the hands of nerds and nerds’ mothers and hypothermia at the hands of a vengeful God (who despite His own divine omnipresence, couldn’t find a Wii anywhere for himself and was forced to buy one on Ebay a few days after New Year’s). All of this so that I could stay up until 3am playing Super Smash Bros, ignoring her phone calls. That’s love, my friends. Can your Kindle beat that?

Kindle is not only great at picking out presents, but it’s also fantastic at bringing those presents to me. I love to read, but a lot of what I read is based on reviews. Reviewers rarely give me what I want in a review. All I desire is a tantalizing sliver of the plot—not the whole thing, just enough of a novel idea that I’m intrigued. Then I want a few quotes from the book. Not full paragraphs, just sentences that show the author’s readable genius. Last, I want the reviewer tell me that I can’t possibly carry on with my life if I don’t read this book.

But I can’t always rely on reviews to let me know what’s good out there. I need recommendations from someone who knows me. Someone named Amazon. I can get to the Amazon.com storefront with a few quick clicks, and one more click brings up a list of recommended books based on books that I’ve purchased or put on my Wish List. Can Kendall do that? It sounds like she can identify things that you’ve told her you like, but can she extrapolate that data using a complex algorithm and tell you that you might be interested in reading A Primate’s Memoir: A Neuroscientist’s Unconventional Life Among the Baboons? I didn’t think so.

That’s just the start of it. Say you’re sitting on your couch with Kendall by your side, and you tell her that you’re interested in reading Nam Le’s new short story collection, The Boat. If I told that to the Kindle and offered it a small pittance of $9.99 (two gallons of gas), I’d have The Boat in my hands within 30 seconds. Can Kendall do that? When you asked her for the Wii, you had to wait all night while she waited in line at Best Buy before you had your prize. All night! By that time the Wii was probably obsolete. But 30 seconds…30 seconds was all it took for my Kindle to race across the Internets to retrieve my book.

Good try, but Kindle is the clear choice for Round 1.