Newsflash: Amy Grant in the News
HARLEM, New York (AP): Heralded Christian singer Amy Grant announced today that she will be releasing her latest album, Amy Grant’s Sportz Jamz, prior to the start of the men’s NCAA March Madness tournament. “Amy Grant loves God,” said Grant’s publicist, Jesus Martinez. “And God loves 65-team bracketed tournaments.” The CD will join a growing [...]
Newsflash: Hubble: Still Out There
CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) — Today it was confirmed by an elite team of scientists at NASA that yes, Hubble is still out there. “Who knew?” said astophysicist Ted Kerplucken. “I sure as hell didn’t.” Hubble, which was originally launched on April 24, 1990, has apparently been taking photos for over 18 years. “Really?” said [...]
Newsflash: Obama Selects Area Kitten for Cabinet
ST LOUIS, Missouri (AP) — Local kitten Biddy Stegmaier (I) has been offered the position of Secretary of Pinning Sheets to the Bed, an Obama insider says. Pending an official background check, Biddy will be sworn in with the rest of the cabinet on January 2o. “[Biddy] has the experience necessary for this job,” says [...]
