personal

I Slept Under a Poop

I Slept Under a Poop

In case you can’t tell from the subject line, this one’s going to be a bit gross. If you follow this blog, you know that I have two cats, Walter and Biddy. Here they are (Walter’s on the left and Biddy’s on the right). They’re mostly good boys. But sometimes–maybe once a day–Walter will “play” […]


The Homecoming Surprise

The Homecoming Surprise

A number of years ago, my siblings and I coordinated a trip home to Virginia to surprise our mom for Mother’s Day. Even though there are those of us in the family who rarely enjoy surprises (me being one of them), we were sure it would be a big hit with our mom. She’s always asking us […]


How Much Did the Tooth Fairy Pay You for Your Teeth?

How Much Did the Tooth Fairy Pay You for Your Teeth?

Based on prorated data from this 2015 survey of parents, most tooth fairies in 2017 pay about $5 per tooth. Kids have 20 baby teeth, so over the span of a few years, they’re netting about $100. Back in the late ’80s, I was getting $1 per tooth at best. So my net revenue was […]


What to Do When You Learn That Your Zodiac Isn’t What You Thought It Was

What to Do When You Learn That Your Zodiac Isn't What You Thought It Was

When I was in fourth grade, we spent a few hours one day learning about Chinese culture. Apparently the school board had deemed that was enough time to fully understand one of the largest, most populated, oldest countries in the world. I distinctly remember learning my zodiac sign that day. I was born in January […]


Witness!

Witness!

I imagine a long time ago, a few cavemen were sitting around discussing their short lives when one of them (we’ll call him Pete) said, “You know, after I die, I want my favorite club to go to Ogg.” Deeply moved, Ogg thanked his friend. “But if you’re dead, how will anyone know that you […]


Adoption Day

Adoption Day

36 years ago, a few days after I was born, I was adopted by my parents. Technically, I was adopted before that, but January 12 was the day my parents picked me up and took me home to Virginia. Birthdays don’t do much for me, but I usually take a few minutes to pause in gratitude […]


What Is a Reasonable Price to Pay for Underwear?

What Is a Reasonable Price to Pay for Underwear?

I recently saw a commercial for a company called the Duluth Trading Co, which makes what they call “buck naked underwear.” The prospect of a pair of boxer briefs that “feels like wearing nothing at all” intrigued me, so I checked out their website. There I found that the price of the boxer briefs is […]


The Delight of Falling Down

The Delight of Falling Down

I’ve written here in the past about my niece (and will continue to write about her in the future), who is now coming up on 4. I haven’t mentioned much about my nephew, though, because he’s younger, and he hasn’t had the ability to interact much with me when I’ve seen him. That all changed […]


More Things I Say in My Sleep

More Things I Say in My Sleep

It’s been a few months since I shared some clips of me talking in my sleep, but I’ve accumulated some more midnight mumbles to share with you. Thanks to my handy Sleep Talk app, I have nightly recordings of all the noise I make while I’m sleeping. Recently I’ve been quite talkative in short, barely […]


Do You Know Everything About Your Best Friends?

Do You Know Everything About Your Best Friends?

The other day I heard something that really made me think, so I wanted to share it here to hear your thoughts. Someone told me something to this effect: “One of my favorite things is that I will never know everything about my friends, even my closest friends. There’s always more to know about them, […]


Is Thanksgiving Too Close to Christmas?

Is Thanksgiving Too Close to Christmas?

Let’s travel back to 1999, when young Jamey was a freshman at Washington University in St. Louis. Thanksgiving was in late November, as always. The next week was the last week of classes, followed by study week, then exams. By mid-December–just 3 weeks after Thanksgiving–it was time to head home. I love my family, but […]


So This Is How They Do Weddings in Texas

So This Is How They Do Weddings in Texas

I had the pleasure of spending the last few days just outside Austin, Texas to celebrate the wedding of my brother, Andrew, and his fiance, Margaret. It was a unique experience on many levels, so I thought I’d share it with you via a series of photos: I stayed in a hotel in Georgetown (north […]


Have You Ever Applied the Placebo Effect to Yourself?

Have You Ever Applied the Placebo Effect to Yourself?

I have seasonal hay fever allergies that are rarely an issue thanks to a generic, over-the-counter allergy pill I take every morning. But yesterday, there was something in the air that was really aggravating my sinuses. I was kind of at a loss as to what to do. I couldn’t take another allergy pill. Splashing […]


Have You Ever Crashed a Wedding?

Have You Ever Crashed a Wedding?

I did something for the first time on Sunday: I crashed a wedding. Of course, I’m not a thrill-seeker, so “crash” is a very loose term. I’ll explain. Two friends in my gaming group, Alex and Chris, announced a few months ago that they were getting married. They just wanted something simple, so they decided […]


Singing in My Sleep

Singing in My Sleep

It’s time again for the most awkward of my blog posts: The ones where I share sound clips of me talking–and now singing–in my sleep. That’s right, I’m still using the Sleep Talk app on a nightly basis. It is one of my favorite things. I went a few months saying very little (plenty of […]


A Visit to the Chiropractor: What Just Happened?

A Visit to the Chiropractor: What Just Happened?

Having heard that I went to a chiropractor the other day, a friend asked what the doctor did. The most accurate answer I could offer was, “I’m not really sure he actually did anything.” A few weeks ago, I had some very painful neck spasms that left me laid up in bed all day. Fortunately they subsided, […]


What Was the Most Grown-Up Thing You Did Today?

What Was the Most Grown-Up Thing You Did Today?

I am, at most, 63% of a grown-up. Sure, I do adult things. I eat salad. I vacuum. I floss. I pay my bills. I don’t pull all-nighters. But many of the things I do could be described as “bachelor” activities. And I don’t mean that like some suave, fitted-suit wearing, scotch-drinking bachelor living in an […]


Does a Robot Feed Your Pets?

Does a Robot Feed Your Pets?

A few days ago, I got a disheartening call from my vet: The test results were in, and Biddy’s diabetes has gotten worse over the last 6 months. He’s fine (kind of), but my vet suspects that he might be developing a resistance to insulin, which I give him twice a day. My vet said […]


Have You Ever Been Unable to Move?

After I write this blog entry, I’m going to take a prescription-strength muscle relaxer, lay down, and see what happens. No, this is not a fun game. Rather, something happened today that I’ve never experienced before. It was painful, frightening, and enlightening. I woke up this morning feeling like I had slept wrong on my […]


Have You Saved the Environment Today?

Have You Saved the Environment Today?

I use canvas bags when I go grocery shopping. I recycle. I turn off the light when I leave the room. But up until recently, I wasn’t doing a great job with water conservation. Sure, I turn off the faucet when I brush my teeth. That’s not enough. Then, exactly one month ago, Stephen Colbert […]


The Gas Apocalypse

The Gas Apocalypse

While driving to Virginia 2 weeks ago, I had my first glimpse of what an apocalyptic scenario might feel like. Granted, this is a very first-world scenario, but I could see something like this going downhill really fast. I was driving from St. Louis to Virginia by myself in one day. It’s a 13 hour […]


America, the Beautiful

America, the Beautiful

I have several stories to share from my trip from St. Louis to Virginia, during which I spent most of my time with my extended family at the beach in North Carolina, but I have one quick tale to tell before July 4 is too far away. I went to church with my parents on […]


Have You Ever Bought Something in Your Sleep?

Have You Ever Bought Something in Your Sleep?

The oddest thing happened a few days ago. A small package from Amazon appeared on my doorstep containing this: Vitamin C and cough drops aren’t all that peculiar of a purchase, except…I didn’t buy them. At least, I don’t remember buying them. My Amazon account shows that I did indeed buy them, and an Amazon […]


Your First Fictional Arousal

The other day I was talking with a friend about an offbeat topic, and I thought it might provide some interesting discussion here. Or we’ll all just feel awkward for a few minutes. The discussion started with Outlander. I had heard that the books were stimulating, so I asked her if that was the case. […]