pet peeve

Pet Peeve #64: When Something You Order Is Much Smaller Than What You Envisioned

Pet Peeve #64: When Something You Order Is Much Smaller Than What You Envisioned

Have you ever ordered something in a restaurant or online, only to discover that the thing you ordered was comically small compared to what you envisioned? This happened to me twice recently. The first time was at a local restaurant I was trying for the first time. Their brunch had received a rave review, and […]


Pet Peeve #63: The “Check Engine” Light

Pet Peeve #63: The "Check Engine" Light

A few days ago, the “check engine” light appeared on my dashboard. So far I’ve refused to heed its warning–I don’t have time to drive my car to a repair shop and leave it there for a few days just so they can plug a machine into it to tell me what’s wrong. I’ve been […]


Pet Peeve #62: American Cheese

Pet Peeve #62: American Cheese

American cheese, why are you a thing? On occasion, I get a fast-food cheeseburger, forgetting that by default it will come laden with the worst of all cheeses, American cheese. Grumbling to myself, I’ll scrape off the cheese, but that plastic-fake taste never really goes away. I’m sure there are those out there who actually […]


Pet Peeve #61: Using Two or Three Question Marks

Pet Peeve #61: Using Two or Three Question Marks

I’ll start with a caveat: I’m probably more sensitive to this pet peeve than the average person. I spend a few hours every day on social media, forums, and e-mail answering questions. I try to reply to every question as quickly as possible. The vast majority of these questions end with the standard single question […]


Pet Peeve #59: For the Life of Me I Can’t Remember What “TL;DR” Means

Pet Peeve #59: For the Life of Me I Can't Remember What "TL;DR" Means

In my line of business–largely communicating with people online–I encounter a lot of acronyms. If I don’t know what something means, I ask for them to define it, and I usually remember it from then on. The one exception, I’ve found, is the acronym TL;DR. Seriously. For the life of me I can’t remember what […]


Pet Peeve/Pet Please: “If it makes you feel any better,…”

Pet Peeve/Pet Please: "If it makes you feel any better,..."

Sometimes there are two sides to a pet peeve. When that happens, we have a pet peeve/pet please on our hands. I’m sure at some point you’ve heard someone use the phrase “If it makes you feel any better,…” Without fail, this phrase never makes anyone feel better, and it’s usually more roughly translated as, […]


Pet Peeve #53: All Gum Is Sugar Free

Pet Peeve #53: All Gum Is Sugar Free

When I was going through puberty (which lasted from about my 11th year to my 24th year of life), I got a lot of migraine headaches. I still do, but I know exactly what triggers them at this point: lack of sleep, lack of water, and fake sugar. It’s the last item on the list […]


Pet Peeve #52: When You Learn What a Keyboard Button Does by Accidentally Pressing It

Pet Peeve #52: When You Learn What a Keyboard Button Does by Accidentally Pressing It

I’ll never forget the first time I pressed “Insert” button on a computer keyboard. I was in sixth grade. I was working on a paper in a now-antiquated program called Microsoft Works on our first family PC. At the time I considered the program the pinnacle of technology next to a 16-bit dinosaur game that involved […]


Pet Peeve #51: The Non-Metric System

Pet Peeve #51: The Non-Metric System

I was driving through the park today when I saw something really strange. A middle-aged male jogger was running with a tire (like, from a car) tied to a string that was attached to a harness around his torso. “Running” might not be the right word. He was kind of just stumbling along with a […]


Pet Peeve #50: Netflix Movies That Are Too Good to Watch

Pet Peeve #50: Netflix Movies That Are Too Good to Watch

A while ago I read about a phenomenon on Netflix involving movies with really high ratings. Biopics, documentaries, foreign films, Oscar-winning independent films…those kinds of movies. Apparently Netflix discovered two things about peoples’ behavior when adding those types of movies to their queue. People are quick to add those 4.5-star movies to their queue, but […]


Pet Peeve #49: Unrequested Debit Card Renewals

Pet Peeve #49: Unrequested Debit Card Renewals

I have a few debit cards and a few credit cards. For the sake of brevity, I’ll use the term “debit card” in this entry, but I’m referring to both. Every now and then, a debit card company will send me a new card. The letter enclosed with the card always has the same feel […]


Pet Peeve #48: Deceptive Bottoms of Ice Cream Pints

Pet Peeve #48: Deceptive Bottoms of Ice Cream Pints

My 10-year college reunion was this weekend, and because I live 5 minutes away from my university, I attended one of the events. It mostly involved not talking to people I vaguely recognized but didn’t actually know in college. However, I did run into my freshman floor roommate, which brought me back to those early […]


Pet Peeve #47: When Companies Discontinue Free Services Without First Asking Us to Pay for Them

Pet Peeve #47: When Companies Discontinue Free Services Without First Asking Us to Pay for Them

Today I heard some devastating news: Google is shutting down Google Reader on July 1, 2013. From that day in history, it will be known as The Day Google Reader Died, or, to most people, July 1. But I’m not most people. I’m one of some people who use and cherish Google Reader to grab […]


Pet Please/Pet Peeve: Stunt and Butt Doubles

Pet Please/Pet Peeve: Stunt and Butt Doubles

Pet Please #82: Actors and Actresses Who Do Their Own Stunts Do you ever read a movie review or synopsis that reveals the main actor or actress did his or her own stunts? Whenever I read that, my excitement for the movie jumps. I think part of it is that I feel like the actor […]


Pet Peeve #45: Blaming Last-Minute Mistakes for Sports Losses

Disclaimer: I’ve been a 49ers fan for the last 24 years, and I will continue to be a 49ers fan for the next 24 years. After that, all bets are off and my allegiance will be for sale to the highest bidder. This is my greatest sports pet peeve. Let’s start with the example that […]


Pet Peeve #44: Animated GIFs

Pet Peeve #44: Animated GIFs

I know, we just had a full week of grievances, and now a pet peeve? Don’t worry–there is a bright side to this one. At first this entry was going to be about animated GIFs in general. If you’re not familiar with the term, I’m sure you’ve seen them online. They look like very short […]


Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2012

Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2012

31-40 here 21-30 here 11-20 here The day has come. Thanks to the illustrious Leo, we have our top 10 rankings for 2012 Festivus grievances. What do you think? Do you grieve as these people grieved? Did you make the top 10? Leo has a number of comments that he added in [brackets]. 10. Predictive […]


Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 11-20

Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 11-20

31-40 here 21-30 here We’re getting close now…so close, in fact, that I’m going to post a special Friday edition of the blog tomorrow night with the Top 10. For now, Gabby graciously offered us his insight into the Top 20: 20. People speak in abbreviations. Perf. (The words “peeps” and “abbrevs” are written in […]


Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 21-30

Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 21-30

31-40 grievances here. The infamous Bryce kindly took the time to rank Festivus grievances 21-30. Read the following to grieve with us: 30. Twilight. Period. Bad writing Bad role models for teenage girls. And since when do vampires sparkle. (Followed by: Team Edward!) 29. Theme parties that make you feel sad that no one has […]


Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 31-40

Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 31-40

Every year I host a big Festivus house party in celebration of the Seinfeld tradition. There is a Festivus pole, plenty of Seinfeld-themed snacks, a feat of strength (a drinking game)…and grievances. People write their funny grievances from that year on two giant whiteboards on my wall. After the party, I jot down all grievances […]


Pet Peeve #43: Cities That Share the Same Name

Pet Peeve #43: Cities That Share the Same Name

A few years ago, I was at a fancy fundraising event like the one in The Dark Knight Rises, except with less Batman and more me with a wedgie, and a young couple introduced themselves and started talking about their connection to the organization. Then the wife said something like this: “Oh, you know Manhattan–it’s a small […]


Pet Peeve #42: The Kissy Face

Pet Peeve #42: The Kissy Face

Women of the world: Please stop making the kissy face in photos. Even ironically. Really. I mean for this to help you. Just smile. You look fantastic when you smile. I don’t quite know how the kissy face originated, but it seems to happen most often when women take group photos. Suddenly you’re all rock star […]


Pet Peeve #41: TMI

Pet Peeve #41: TMI

I really enjoy open and vulnerable conversation. To me, there are no limits on conversation topics unless they start to make someone uncomfortable. I’m very aware of the latter–I truly don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or offend anyone. Every once in a while I encounter a conversationalist who will seem to intentionally push people’s […]


Pet Peeve #40: Non-Celebrities Asking Celebrities to Go to the Prom or Ball

Pet Peeve #40: Non-Celebrities Asking Celebrities to Go to the Prom or Ball

Okay. This has to stop. Last year, a young woman in the Marines asked Justin Timberlake to the Marine Corps Ball. He accepted. Soon afterward, another Marine asked Mila Kunis to another Marine Corps Ball. She also accepted. Then, just a few days ago, a cancer-stricken high schooler asked Taylor Swift to the prom. She […]