Let the Tournament of Awkwardness Begin!
When I announced the Tournament of Awkwardness two weeks ago, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. It’s a lot to ask people to submit photos of years that they might like to forget, years filled with braces and odd clothing, with devastating hair styles and androgyny (there are at least three entries where a [...]
The Battle Royale of Cuteness
The day hath cometh. In one corner we have Ben, who rode through the gauntlet of the original Tournament of Cuteness like Benjamin Button on a horse made of regrets and seedy bars. In the other we have Charlotte, who, although her path to greatness was but a single poll, we can all agree deserves [...]
Mini Tournament of Cuteness
Yesterday as I was writing the blog entry for the Tournament of Awkwardness, I realized that I had a few Tournament of Cuteness entries leftover from last year. A few people sent in entries during the tournament, which I pledged to use for a future tournament. Now that I’ve changed plans, I still want to [...]
Who Should Rachel Have Ended Up With: Ross or Joey?
If you like this entry, feel free to check out my Kickstarter campaign for a board game I invented called Viticulture. If enough people pledge, I might be able to be convinced that Ross and Rachel are right for each other. During yesterday’s sanction on avid commentors, I got more comments off the blog about Ross vs. [...]
Live More Now or Live Longer Later?
I had this debate the other day, and I want your thoughts. If you could take a pill that would let you get the equivalent of 8 hours of sleep a night even though you actually sleep only 4 hours, but each pill would reduce the overall length of your life by 4 hours, would [...]
You Got Raptured!
“You Got Raptured!” should totally be the name for a new game show. If you’re reading this, you didn’t get raptured on Saturday. If you’re anything like me, you were sitting around with friends at a BBQ, enjoying the breeze and the chirping of crickets and frogs (or whatever chirps here in St. Louis. Mosquitos? [...]
Tournament of Cuteness Final
It comes down to man vs. dog. Just as nature intended it. In one corner we have Ben, who, with a whopping 152 votes, eclipsed the juggernaut that was Tessi. Ben is adorable, overworked, and delightfully frumpy. In the other corner we have Llewelyn, whose name I can’t seem to ever get right, and it [...]
Dog vs. Dog
Llewyln: When Llewelyn was just five months old, he found a little space in the fence big enough to crawl through and got out of the backyard. Unfortunately, he was hit by a car when he was running across the street. After a few surgeries and a lot of rehab, he is now 3-1/2 years old [...]
Tournament of Cuteness Final Four
As we enter the final two weeks of this tournament, the contestants have been pared down to four: Tessi, Ben, Llewellyn, and surprise winner Mario. The rules are the same as always: Vote once for the cutest animal/human by Sunday at noon. For the final matchups, I asked the contestants’ owners/parents to write about something really [...]
Texts from My Roommate
I’ve lived with my roommate, Jess, for over two months now. She’s a great roommate, and I’ve discovered that one of her special abilities is that she composes hilarious texts. By that I don’t mean that Jess texts a lot and mixes in some humor. I mean that Jess carefully composes the majority of her [...]
Pet Please #47: Finishing a Bottle of Chocolate Syrup
When I was a kid, chocolate milk was a treat. I’d come home from school, get some pretzels out of the cupboard, and sit down with a glass of cold, delicious chocolate milk. Or Ovaltine. We went through an Ovaltine phase. Now, as a mature, full-size, adult man, I have a big glass of chocolate [...]
Round 2 Begins!
12 contestants. 16 grueling days of cuteness. 1 champion. 1 prize package. Round 2 begins! Preview the bracket below to see the winners and their scores. The winners so far: 2 cats, 4 humans, and 6 dogs. I see a pattern emerging. In fact, cats only won all-cat matchups. Although Biddy got enough votes to [...]
The Last 7 Contestants of Round 1
So here we are on the final day of Round 1. Except it’s not really the final day, since voting will remain open until Sunday at noon. Here’s how this is going to work: I’ll close the polls on Sunday at noon. I’ll update the bracket, and 12 competitors will remain, 3 in each group. [...]
Biddy’s Birthday
For all you newcomers to the blog, it probably seems like this blog is exclusively about pets. I swear it’s about other things too! But today, March 9, happens to be Biddy’s 4th birthday, so I thought I’d honor him with a list of my top 7 quirks about him. Biddy greets me at the [...]
Pet Please #46: Broken Parking Meters
You’re late for happy hour. You know your friends are waiting. You see a parking spot not far from the bar. You parallel park like a pro. You reach for some coins for the parking meter… …and it’s empty. Great, just great. You could be sipping a fuzzy navel right now, but instead, you have [...]
The Tournament of Cuteness
Let the games begin! Last week in an entry about how we all think our own pet or baby is the cutest of all pets and babies, I decided to create a Tournament of Cuteness. The blog will continue as usual, but included in each daily entry will be at least one head-to-head matchup for [...]
TGIF
A coworker and I were talking last week about Fridays. She said that her favorite thing to do on a Friday after work was go out for happy hour. I was a little surprised, because I’m the exact opposite. On Friday after work, the last thing I want to do is go out. I want [...]
The Great Wedding Gift Debate Survey Results
Apparently you all are awesome, because 108 people took my wedding gift survey. This means that for the first time in the history of mankind, we have conclusive data about when you should buy people wedding gifts (answer: pretty much always if you’re attending the wedding) and how you should determine how much to spend. [...]
Public Displays of Affection
The way people choose to express their affection for each other in public is fascinating to me. It’s completely different than physical affection in private, because with PDA, you’re walking a fine line between social norms and personal intimacy. I’ve seen all kinds of PDA. I’ve seen a woman in Paris pin her man against [...]
Is It Cheating If Your Mind Wanders?
I recently had a discussion with a few friends about the places your mind is allowed to go during sexual acts with a significant other. Is it cheating–or wrong in some way–for you to think about someone else? Before you jump to your answer, I ask you this: Have you ever thought about someone else [...]
You Decide: Should I Go on This Date?
This is something I’ve never tried before, and I’ll probably never do it again. Here is your chance to determine if I go on a date with Maria (I changed her name in case she wants to post under her real name in the comments in the future). Maria recently saw my profile on Match.com [...]
Important One-Question Survey!
Run, don’t walk over to Blank Slate Press to vote on the best book cover for my publishing company’s first novel. If you sign up for the mailing list, you could win a signed first edition of The Samaritan. Thanks so much! http://blankslatepress.wordpress.com/ Also, I have a friend in St. Louis who is looking for [...]
No One Decides Quickly and Everyone’s a Good Friend
…or a more boring title would be “Survey Results.” Because that’s what today is all about. I want to thank everyone who took my crazy little survey last week. 47 people filled it out, and the 23rd person (you know who you are) was randomly selected by random.org to receive my copy of Rework by [...]
Who Is the Ultimate Man?
Over the years, there have been dozens of men who were the ultimate men of their time. Guys like Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds, and Bruce Campbell. But lately, thanks to a squadron of loyal fans and some very effective marketing campaigns, there are a few men that have become the very personification of the ultimate [...]
