The Art of Flirtation: An Awkward Male’s Perspective
This is a Mars vs. Venus entry, meaning I’m going to share my male perspective, and then at the end of the entry you can click over to my blogger friend Katy’s blog for the female perspective on flirting. I’ve always enjoyed flirting, but over the past year I’ve had a series of epiphanies about [...]
How to Write the Perfect Online Dating Profile
I’m taking a little break from dating so I can focus on writing the novel, but out of curiosity I still find myself checking on my “matches” on Match and OkCupid (I’m telling you, online dating is very addicting). I see the same mistakes over and over in online dating profiles, and so I thought [...]
The Power of Surprises
I believe that there are two types of people in the world: Those who like surprises, and those who don’t. Of course, there are some grey areas. I like very few surprises, but I’m delighted by a Slurpee or cookie showing up at my desk unannounced. And there are people who generally love surprises who [...]
Week of Worst First Dates: Day 4
As you’ve seen, the dates this week really haven’t been that bad. Annoying, perhaps, but nothing that caused me any permanent angst. Today’s date, the final date I’ll write about, is the exception. To be fair, there are multiple things I did wrong with this date. A woman contacted me on Match from a city [...]
Week of Worst First Dates: Day 3
We’ve come to the blind date. The one, the only, blind date. A female friend asked me early last year if she could set me up on a blind date. She had a friend who wanted to set up her friend on a blind date, so there were two degrees of separation between me and [...]
Week of Worst First Dates: Day 2
My second worst date story involves a woman here in St. Louis. A rather beautiful woman, really. I was somewhat surprised when she started talking to me, but I was happy to go along with it. Let’s call her Barbara. We had a great rapport going–lots of long e-mails that varied between flirty and funny [...]
Week of Worst First Dates: Day 1
As a special Christmas gift to you, dear reader, I have decided to share with you this week the stories of the 4 worst first dates I’ve been on since signing up for online dating. 4 out of 50 first dates from online dating really isn’t a bad number at all. And as you’ll see, [...]
Should Your Spouse Be Your Best Friend?
Before I get off the Mindy Kaling train, I want to mention one other concept she wrote about that I really connect with. It’s the idea the best marriages are when the husband and wife are pals but not best friends. A few months ago, I was e-mailing with a woman who said she wanted [...]
Relationships Should Have an “Undo” Button
The two greatest innovations of the last 20 years are almost identical: The “undo” button in Microsoft Word and the 6-second rewind button on the TiVo remote control. Why have modern relationships not caught up with modern technology? I’m writing this post now because I’m not dating anyone, and thus I can safely discuss oops [...]
Do Common Interests Matter?
“What really matters is what you like, not what you are like… Books, records, films – these things matter.” –John Cusack, High Fidelity You like U2, but she likes Garth Brooks. You like Star Wars, but she likes 27 Dresses (or even worse, Star Trek [kidding!]). You like football, she likes NASCAR. You like The [...]
The 7th Love Language
A while ago, I wrote a post about the 5 love languages. At the end of that post, I jokingly mentioned that the 6th love language (one that is not officially recognized by the creator of the love languages, Dr. Gary Chapman) is chocolate. Through a number of discussions and experiences the last few years, [...]
How to Get a Man to Listen Instead of Try to Solve Your Problem
Sometimes I hear something (wow, this sentence started off weak) over and over again until I reach a tipping point of consciousness and decide I need to write about it. Today I have one of those things. Women Who Date Men, answer me this: Have you ever needed to vent about something to your boyfriend, [...]
How Do You Like to Be Rejected?
Sites like Match.com and OkCupid thrive on success stories, of which there are plenty. But really, for every couple that meets on Match, there are dozens–if not hundreds–of ignored emails and outright rejections. Online dating way more about rejection than acceptance. Which, in a way, is great. No one likes being rejected, but if you [...]
The Dealbreaker Survey
Thanks to your feedback last week and some soul searching this weekend, I’ve created a dealbreaker survey to replace my “perfect woman” survey (which 403 people have taken to date). This survey is shorter, and it includes the question “Are you female?”, so guys, you’re welcome to flip through the survey without worrying about being [...]
The Best Test of a Relationship
I’ve been quoted in many books of quotes as saying, “The best test of a relationship is to take a trip together.” In my experience, it’s completely true. When you’re on a trip, you’re outside of your comfort zone. Your raw, unedited side comes out, and you get to see what your significant others’ raw, [...]
Leadership Tactic #60: Happiness Is Underrated
The other day I was talking to a happily employed friend who is being recruited for another job. He said that the recruiting company is known for targeting people who are happy in their current jobs. I thought that was really interesting, that the number one filter the company used was employee happiness. They aren’t [...]
The Psychology of Sex #12: High Risk, High Reward
If you want to fall in love, put yourself in a risky–even dangerous–situation. I’ve got proof. I read an article the other day about…well, essentially about the psychology of sex. The article started by summarizing a study done involving men who were put on a scary bridge with a female interviewer. One by one the [...]
Click: An Online Love Story: A Man’s Perspective
A few months ago, I was asked to review a recently published novel called Click: An Online Love Story by Lisa Becker. Given the myriad of experiences I’ve had on Match.com this past year, I thought the book was a good fit for me to review. It also helps that I love (and am thus [...]
Do First Impressions Matter?
Women of the world, picture this scenario: You go on a first date with a guy. (I am not this guy. This is a hypothetical guy. Think of the last guy you went on a date with who you didn’t ask for a second date. Okay, maybe I’m that guy.) He’s nice, funny, smart. He’s [...]
Which Way Does Your Cookie Crumble?
The very last question of my “Perfect Woman” survey (which has now been taken by 347 people) reads as follows: You’re sitting on the couch watching Arrested Development with your boyfriend. As he watches the show, his hands toy with the edges of your breasts, your neck, and your inner thigh. What do you do? [...]
10 Ways to Have a Great First Date
It’s been long enough since I’ve had a first date that no one will think I’m specifically talking about them. So here goes. This is the result of thousands of dates in 26 different languages, 13 countries, and 312 outfits. Prep before the date. If you have interactions with the person before the first date [...]
Public Displays of Affection
The way people choose to express their affection for each other in public is fascinating to me. It’s completely different than physical affection in private, because with PDA, you’re walking a fine line between social norms and personal intimacy. I’ve seen all kinds of PDA. I’ve seen a woman in Paris pin her man against [...]
Is It Cheating If Your Mind Wanders?
I recently had a discussion with a few friends about the places your mind is allowed to go during sexual acts with a significant other. Is it cheating–or wrong in some way–for you to think about someone else? Before you jump to your answer, I ask you this: Have you ever thought about someone else [...]
Is It Fair to Share Others’ Secrets with Your Spouse?
I was talking with two good married friends the other day, both of whom I consider extremely moral, considerate people. They were talking about something that had been said in confidence to the husband (we’ll call him Bert), and he had shared it in confidence to his wife (we’ll call her Lisa). This type of [...]
