Festivus

Jamey is the world’s top authority on Festivus parties held at his house.

Top 5 Festivus Grievances of All Time:

5. Facebook friend requests for people I went to high school with who never talked to me in high school.

4. Got passed over for a promotion at work—had to train person who got the job.

3. Automatic toilets that flush before I’m finished. It’s gross, and then I just have to flush it again when I’m really done. Not very green, is it?

2. When people speed up when I’m trying to pass them. And when people still pass me even though I speed up.

1. When you e-mail someone and they call in response. If I wanted to hear your voice, I would have picked up the phone in the first place.

Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2013:

malcolm-in-the-middle10. When people walk at an intersection even though the walk light isn’t on. I need to make my turn!

9. That Breaking Bad didn’t end with the FBI giving Walter White a new identity as the suburban father of 4 in “Malcolm in the Middle.”

8. Cat food that’s more expensive than my food.

7. When your car stops making that rattle as soon as you go to the mechanic.

6. When I Google “why do”, it autofills “why does my … itch?”

5. Seedful grapes.

4. Deceptively shallow pints of ice cream.

3. When the doctor tells you there’s nothing wrong. I’d rather be sick than crazy.

2. That semicolons are more frequently used as emoticons instead of as proper punctuation.

1. When you e-mail someone and they call in response. If I wanted to hear your voice, I would have picked up the phone in the first place.

Top Festivus Grievances of 2013: 1-10

Top Festivus Grievances of 2013: 11-20

Top Festivus Grievances of 2013: 21-30

Top Festivus Grievances of 2013: 31-40

Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 1-10

Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 11-20

Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 21-30

Top Festivus Grievances of 2012: 31-40

Top Festivus Pet Pleases of 2012

Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 1-10

Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 11-20

Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 21-30

Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 31-40

Festivus Vlog: The Aftermath

Top Festivus Grievances of 2010: 1-10

Top Festivus Grievances of 2010: 11-20

Top Festivus Grievances of 2010: 21-30

Top Festivus Grievances of 2010: 31-40

A Festivus Miracle

The Festivus Photoshoot

The Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2009

Top Festivus Grievances of 2009: 11-20

Top Festivus Grievances of 2009: 21-30

The Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2008

Top Festivus Grievances of 2008: 11-20

Top Festivus Grievances of 2008: 21-30

Top Festivus Grievances of 2007

Top Festivus Grievances of 2006