Festivus
Jamey is the world’s top authority on Festivus parties held at his condo.
Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 1-10
10. I hate hundreds of things a week but can never come up with a good grievance.
9. Toilet seats that are up! (Followed by: When I accidentally pee all over the toilet seat because someone left the seat down. [Followed by: Why not leave it like you found it!])
8. When people speed up when I’m trying to pass them. And when people still pass me even though I speed up.
7. Kids are too fat these days. (Followed by: Can I demand the right to deny candy to chubby kids on Halloween? [Followed by: Kids in general.])
6. People who take the elevator up or down one floor.
5. I don’t piss all over the men’s room floor. You don’t piss all over the men’s room floor. So who the hell is pissing all over the men’s room floor?
4. Animal husbandry. I just don’t think that animals make good husbands.
3. That your first IM name never goes away. Thanks for a lifetime of clarifications, Cutebuns09.
2. No man has ever carried a banana in his pocket. Stop asking coy questions.
1. That “tapas” sounds all too much like “topless.” My mom is convinced that I regularly eat garlic bread, goat cheese, and marinara sauce in front of exotic dancers.
Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 11-20
Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 21-30
Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 31-40
Top Festivus Grievances of 2010: 1-10
Top Festivus Grievances of 2010: 11-20
Top Festivus Grievances of 2010: 21-30
Top Festivus Grievances of 2010: 31-40
The Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2009
Top Festivus Grievances of 2009: 11-20
Top Festivus Grievances of 2009: 21-30
The Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2008
Top Festivus Grievances of 2008: 11-20
Top Festivus Grievances of 2008: 21-30
Top Festivus Grievances of 2007
Top Festivus Grievances of 2006
