pet peeves

Jamey’s ongoing list of pet peeves, accompanied by his list of life’s little pleasures, or pet pleases, as well as some common misconceptions.

Pet Pleases

Festivus 2012 Pet Pleases

#1: The Box That Smiles

#2: Back-to-Back Parking Spaces

#3: The Perfect Screw

#4: When You’re Not in the Wall

#5: The Coffee Aisle

#6: Windshield Wiper Fluid

#7: The Forgotten Milkshake Phenomenon

#8: The Wave-In

#9: Nonsmoking Bars

#10: The False Alarm

#11: Parking Meters with Time Remaining

#12: Unexpected E-Mails from Old Friends

#13: Finding Your Chapstick

#14-20

#21: Tearaway Clothing

#22: The Parking Spot No One Else Knows About

#23: Someone Else Washing Your Hair

#24: Mothers

#25: Bikinis

#26: Random Hugs from Little Kids

#27: When the AC Clicks Off

#28: Chocolate Chip Pancakes

#29: That Yoga Pants Are Now Everyday Pants

#30: Sportsmanship

#31: Deliveries in Bed

#32: The Solo Grocery Hike

#33: Odometer Benchmarks

#34-38: Five Odd Things for Which I’m Thankful

#39: The Like Button

#40: No Salvation Army

#41: Imbalanced Chocolate Chip Cookies

#42: Surprise Delivery of Preordered Kindle Books

#43: Dentist Compliments

#44: Women’s Retro Soccer Shorts

#45: Things That Pay for Themselves

#46: Broken Parking Meters

#47: Finishing a Bottle of Chocolate Syrup

#48: Eyelashes

#49: Eating Fruit Like an Animal

#50: The USA Chant

#51: Playing a Sport Immediately After Watching That Sport on TV

#52: When a Single Kick Fixes a Machine

#53: Microwaves

#54: Heavy Light Lifting

#55: When Good Magazines Try to Get You to Resubscribe

#56: Reading a Book in the Midst of Everything

#57: Tandem Bikes

#58: Holding Hands for the First Time

#59: Out-Typing Autofill

#60: Unexpected Free Things

#61: Animals Snuggling with Stuffed Animals

#62: People Who Don’t Talk on Their Cell Phones While Walking Their Dogs

#63: 1000 Awesome Things

#64: When You Get to Make Someone’s Dream Come True

#65: Good Cop/Bad Cop

#66: The Moment When Two Voices Join in a Duet

#67-69: Three Quick Pet Pleases

#70: Keeping Your Favorite Stuffed Animal Through Adulthood

#71: When Something Is Too Beautiful for Your Brain to Comprehend

#72: When Scientists Decide That Something Delicious Is Good for You

#73: Remembering Exactly Where You Saved an Elusive File

#74: That Moment When Your Pet Decides Out of the Blue That Everything Needs to Stop and You Need to Snuggle NOW

#75: Suggestive E-mail Subject Lines

#76: Animal Photobombs

#77: Learning That an Innocent-Sounding Song Is Actually Quite Naughty 

#78: Any Costume Can Be Sexy on Halloween

#79: When You Learn That Something You Assumed Was Terrible Isn’t Actually All That Bad

#80: George Lucas No Longer Owns Star Wars

#81: Discovering the Perfect Salsa

#82: Actors and Actresses Who Do Their Own Stunts

#83: Animals with Three Legs

#84: When a Real Doctor Confirms Your Self-Diagnosis

#85: Moving Walkways at Airports

#86: When You Discover a Stranger’s Favorite Conversation Topic

#87: When You Get Your Username and Password Right on the First Try on a Website You Haven’t Visited in Years

#88: When Your Website Is Live Again

#89: When a Standing Ovation Is Defeated

#90: When Something Better Is Impending

#91: Rarely Having Dessert as a Kid

#92: Accurate Japanese in Movies

#93: When You Get the Eyelash Out of Your Eye on the First Attempt

#94: Half-Size Paper Towels

#95: When a Website Says Your Password Is Strong

#96: Big Bands in Small Venues

#97: People Who Choose to Live in the City You Love

#98: Singers Who Write Their Own Songs

#99: Real Mail

#100: New SNL Sketches

#101: Not Knowing When a Book Will End

#102: Toasted Sandwiches

#103: When Bench Players Congratulate Starting Players Who Have No Idea Who They Are

#104: Different Species of Animals Hanging Out with Each Other

#105: Photos of Models Doing Things That No Human Has Ever Done

#106: A Really Great, Unique Question

#107: Waking Up from a School Dream as an Adult

#108: The Bottom of an Ice Cream Drumstick

#109: Having Leftovers After Eating at a Restaurant

Pet Please/Pet Peeve #106: When You Get All Green Lights

#110/111: Brushing Teeth After a Flight and Filling Up a Tank of Gas

#112: Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits

#113: When Boxers Try to Intimidate Each Other but Instead Look Like They’re Going to Kiss

#114: Unplanned Talk Show Anecdotes

#115: Tagged Signature Lines in Long Documents

#116: YouTube’s New Cinematic Format

#117: Remembering All of the Things You Forgot to Add to Your Grocery List

#118: The Raised Ridges on the F and J Keyboard Letters

#119: When You Remember a Friend’s Preferred Physical Greeting

#120: That Feeling You Get After You Fill Up Your Tank with Gas and Feel Like You Can Go Anywhere

#121: Discovering and Plucking an Unexpectedly Long Hair Growing on a Part of Your Body That Doesn’t Have Long Hair

#122: Holding Paws with Animals

#123: Having the Exact Number of Items as the Maximum Allowed at the Grocery Store Checkout

#124: YouTube’s Accelerate Feature

#125: People Who Introduce Themselves

#126: Context

#127: Fans Who Gather at Their Home Stadium for Away Games

#128: Facetime

#129: Discovering a New Computer Shortcut by Accident

#130: Drying Laundry in a Machine

#131: Foods with Few Ingredients

#132: Flickering Lights as an Alternative to Yelling

#133: The Grocery Cart

#134: Grown-Up Gestures Made by Little Kids

#135: Backup Dancers and Singers

#136: Warm Spots Where Your Pets Were Sitting

#137: When You Realize the Worrisome Smell Is Coming from a Different Car

#138: Big Straws

#139: Post-Frugality Newness

#140: The Ability to Clip Songs That Overstay Their Welcome

#141: The Microwave Cover

#142: Consistent TV Show Callbacks

#143: Spring Cleaning

#144: Extra Season Finales

#145: Cinema Wins

Pet Peeves

Pet Peeve #2: Coordinated Dances at Weddings

Pet Peeve #3: Not Capitalizing “Is” in Main-Words-Up Heads

Pet Peeve #4: Plastic Utensils

Pet Peeve #5: Shared Facebook Profile Photos

Pet Peeve #6: Women Breaking Into Song

Pet Peeve #7: Online News Videos Without Transcripts

Pet Peeve #8: Glasses in the Sink

Pet Peeve #9: Songs That Contain Traffic Sounds

Pet Peeve #10: Parking Space Stalking

Pet Peeve #11: The Delusion of Bread and Butter Pickles

Pet Peeve #12: Cursive Writing

Pet Peeve #14: Running from Danger in Movies

Pet Peeve #15: Unnecessarily Using Foreign Words

Pet Peeve #16: Text Conversations

Pet Peeve #17: Discontinued Toothpaste

Pet Peeve #18: ROFL

Pet Peeve #19: The Pants Pouch

Pet Peeve #20: Food Explosions in the Microwave

Pet Peeve #21: ESPN Video Analysis

Pet Peeve #22: Drive Safe!

Pet Peeve #23: People Telling You What They Thought You Said

Pet Peeve #24: The Pronuciation of “Thames”

Pet Peeve #25: Your First IM Name Will Never Go Away

Pet Peeve #26: Vastly Underestimating the Number of Groceries

Pet Peeve #27: Microwaves

Pet Peeves 28-33: Six Pet Peeves That You’re Not Going to Like

Pet Peeve #34: Obnoxiously Loud Bar Bands

Pet Peeve#35: Companies That Say “Marketing” When They Mean “Sales”

Pet Peeve #36: Dream Sequences

Pet Peeve #37: Sucralose

Pet Peeve #38: Album-Only Songs

Pet Peeve #39: “Everything Happens for a Reason”

Pet Peeve #40: “Non-Celebrities Asking Celebrities to Go to the Prom or Ball”

Pet Peeve #41: TMI

Pet Peeve #42: The Kissy Face

Pet Peeve #43: Cities That Share the Same Name

Pet Peeve #44: Animated GIFs

Pet Peeve #45: Blaming Last-Minute Mistakes for Sports Losses

Pet Peeve #46: Actresses Who Use Butt Doubles

Pet Peeve #47: When Companies Discontinue Free Services Without First Asking Us to Pay for Them

Pet Peeve #48: Deceptive Bottoms of Ice Cream Pints

Pet Peeve #49: Unexpected Debit Card Renewals

Pet Peeve #50: Netflix Movies That Are Too Good to Watch

Pet Peeve #51: The Non-Metric System

Pet Peeve #52: When You Learn What a Keyboard Button Does by Accidentally Pressing It

Pet Peeve #53: All Gum Is Sugar Free

Pet Peeve #54: Confirmation Emails When You Unsubscribe to Spam

Pet Peeve #55: Video Ads on Internet Videos that Play Better than the Actual Videos

Pet Peeve #56: When People Throw Up on TV

Pet Peeve #57: More Than One Question Mark or Exclamation Point

Pet Peeve #58: Starting Sentences with the Word “Honestly”

Pet Peeve #59: For the Life of Me I Can’t Remember What “TL;DR” Means

Pet Peeve/Pet Please: “If it makes you feel any better,…”

Pet Peeve #60: “Easy Open” Bags That Are Hard for Me to Open

#61: Using Two or Three Question Marks

Pet Peeve #62: American Cheese

Pet Peeve #63: The “Check Engine” Light

Pet Peeve #64: When Something You Order Is Much Smaller Than What You Envisioned

#64: Celebrity Privilege

Pet Peeve #65: “On This Date…”

Pet Peeve #66: When Tabloids Make It Look Like Two People Are in the Same Place

Pet Peeves and Bad Ideas (and more and more and more and more)

Boycotting Chi-Town

They’re Not Holiday Trees, They’re Christmas Trees!

My Gripe with Bathroom Grips

Milking the Opera Scene

The U.S. Makes-No-Census Bureau

Pet Peeve of the Hour

Bicyclists: Share the Road!

How to Use My Bathroom

An Open Letter to Anonymous Commentors

YouSlideshow?

Bonus Post

Common Misconceptions

#1: He Who Smelt It May Not Have Dealt It

#2: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

#3: Quitting Cold Turkey