pet peeves

Jamey’s ongoing list of pet peeves, accompanied by his list of life’s little pleasures, or pet pleases, as well as some common misconceptions.

Pet Peeves

“Waiters and waitresses of the world, if your restaurant doesn’t serve sweet tea, the answer to the question “Do you have sweet ice tea?” is NO. It’s very simple. If you have it, you say yes. If you don’t, you say no. I know there’s sugar on the table. If I wanted to add that sugar to my tea, I wouldn’t be asking if you serve sweet tea. Pointing out that there’s sugar on the table is like pointing out that you serve food. It’s an insult to the customer.” (–Jamey)

Pet Peeve #2: Coordinated Dances at Weddings

Pet Peeve #3: Not Capitalizing “Is” in Main-Words-Up Heads

Pet Peeve #4: Plastic Utensils

Pet Peeve #5: Shared Facebook Profile Photos

Pet Peeve #6: Women Breaking Into Song

Pet Peeve #7: Online News Videos Without Transcripts

Pet Peeve #8: Glasses in the Sink

Pet Peeve #9: Songs That Contain Traffic Sounds

Pet Peeve #10: Parking Space Stalking

Pet Peeve #11: The Delusion of Bread and Butter Pickles

Pet Peeve #12: Cursive Writing

Pet Peeve #14: Running from Danger in Movies

Pet Peeve #15: Unnecessarily Using Foreign Words

Pet Peeve #16: Text Conversations

Pet Peeve #17: Discontinued Toothpaste

Pet Peeve #18: ROFL

Pet Peeve #19: The Pants Pouch

Pet Peeve #20: Food Explosions in the Microwave

Pet Peeve #21: ESPN Video Analysis

Pet Peeve #22: Drive Safe!

Pet Peeve #23: People Telling You What They Thought You Said

Pet Peeve #24: The Pronuciation of “Thames”

Pet Peeve #25: Your First IM Name Will Never Go Away

Pet Peeve #26: Vastly Underestimating the Number of Groceries

Pet Peeve #27: Microwaves

Pet Peeves 28-33: Six Pet Peeves That You’re Not Going to Like

Pet Peeve #34: Obnoxiously Loud Bar Bands

Pet Peeve#35: Companies That Say “Marketing” When They Mean “Sales”

Pet Peeve #36: Dream Sequences

Pet Peeve #37: Sucralose

Pet Peeve #38: Album-Only Songs

Pet Peeve #39: ”Everything Happens for a Reason”

Pet Peeve #40: “Non-Celebrities Asking Celebrities to Go to the Prom or Ball”

Pet Peeve #41: TMI

Pet Peeve #42: The Kissy Face

Pet Peeve #43: Cities That Share the Same Name

Pet Peeve #44: Animated GIFs

Pet Peeve #45: Blaming Last-Minute Mistakes for Sports Losses

Pet Peeve #46: Actresses Who Use Butt Doubles

Pet Peeve #47: When Companies Discontinue Free Services Without First Asking Us to Pay for Them

Pet Peeve #48: Deceptive Bottoms of Ice Cream Pints

Pet Peeves and Bad Ideas (and more and more and more and more)

Boycotting Chi-Town

They’re Not Holiday Trees, They’re Christmas Trees!

My Gripe with Bathroom Grips

Milking the Opera Scene

The U.S. Makes-No-Census Bureau

Pet Peeve of the Hour

Bicyclists: Share the Road!

How to Use My Bathroom

An Open Letter to Anonymous Commentors

YouSlideshow?

Bonus Post

Pet Pleases

Festivus 2012 Pet Pleases

#1: The Box That Smiles

#2: Back-to-Back Parking Spaces

#3: The Perfect Screw

#4: When You’re Not in the Wall

#5: The Coffee Aisle

#6: Windshield Wiper Fluid

#7: The Forgotten Milkshake Phenomenon

#8: The Wave-In

#9: Nonsmoking Bars

#10: The False Alarm

#11: Parking Meters with Time Remaining

#12: Unexpected E-Mails from Old Friends

#13: Finding Your Chapstick

#14-20

#21: Tearaway Clothing

#22: The Parking Spot No One Else Knows About

#23: Someone Else Washing Your Hair

#24: Mothers

#25: Bikinis

#26: Random Hugs from Little Kids

#27: When the AC Clicks Off

#28: Chocolate Chip Pancakes

#29: That Yoga Pants Are Now Everyday Pants

#30: Sportsmanship

#31: Deliveries in Bed

#32: The Solo Grocery Hike

#33: Odometer Benchmarks

#34-38: Five Odd Things for Which I’m Thankful

#39: The Like Button

#40: No Salvation Army

#41: Imbalanced Chocolate Chip Cookies

#42: Surprise Delivery of Preordered Kindle Books

#43: Dentist Compliments

#44: Women’s Retro Soccer Shorts

#45: Things That Pay for Themselves

#46: Broken Parking Meters

#47: Finishing a Bottle of Chocolate Syrup

#48: Eyelashes

#49: Eating Fruit Like an Animal

#50: The USA Chant

#51: Playing a Sport Immediately After Watching That Sport on TV

#52: When a Single Kick Fixes a Machine

#53: Microwaves

#54: Heavy Light Lifting

#55: When Good Magazines Try to Get You to Resubscribe

#56: Reading a Book in the Midst of Everything

#57: Tandem Bikes

#58: Holding Hands for the First Time

#59: Out-Typing Autofill

#60: Unexpected Free Things

#61: Animals Snuggling with Stuffed Animals

#62: People Who Don’t Talk on Their Cell Phones While Walking Their Dogs

#63: 1000 Awesome Things

#64: When You Get to Make Someone’s Dream Come True

#65: Good Cop/Bad Cop

#66: The Moment When Two Voices Join in a Duet

#67-69: Three Quick Pet Pleases

#70: Keeping Your Favorite Stuffed Animal Through Adulthood

#71: When Something Is Too Beautiful for Your Brain to Comprehend

#72: When Scientists Decide That Something Delicious Is Good for You

#73: Remembering Exactly Where You Saved an Elusive File

#74: That Moment When Your Pet Decides Out of the Blue That Everything Needs to Stop and You Need to Snuggle NOW

#75: Suggestive E-mail Subject Lines

#76: Animal Photobombs

#77: Learning That an Innocent-Sounding Song Is Actually Quite Naughty 

#78: Any Costume Can Be Sexy on Halloween

#79: When You Learn That Something You Assumed Was Terrible Isn’t Actually All That Bad

#80: George Lucas No Longer Owns Star Wars

#81: Discovering the Perfect Salsa

#82: Actors and Actresses Who Do Their Own Stunts

#83: Animals with Three Legs

#84: When a Real Doctor Confirms Your Self-Diagnosis

Common Misconceptions

#1: He Who Smelt It May Not Have Dealt It

#2: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

#3: Quitting Cold Turkey