superlatives

Jamey lists his greatest fears, loves, shames, as well as his favorite lines from entries and comments on this blog. In addition, he includes what the readers think via the polls list.

My Greatest…

A Love Letter to My Greatest Love, My GPS Navigator

My Greatest Fear: Potato Eyes and Moldy Food

My Greatest Fear: Part 2: Opening Canisters of Pillsbury Rolls

My Greatest Fear #3: Getting Locked Out of My Car on a Snow Day

My Greatest Fear #4: Left Turns Across Traffic

My Greatest Fear #5: Getting Stuck to Something Frozen

My Greatest Fear #6: Piano Bars

My Greatest Fear #7: Popping Balloons

My Greatest Fear #8: Static Electricity

My Greatest Fear #9: Ice Shattering into My Eyes

My Greatest Fear #10: Grandma’s Painting

My Greatest Fear #11: Volleyball

My Greatest Fear #12: Getting Struck by Lightning and Not Getting a Superpower Out of It

My Greatest Fear #13: Unseen Spiders

My Greatest Fear #14: Eyeball Papercuts

My Greatest Fear #15: Brushing My Teeth with Something That Looks Like Toothpaste but Is Not

My Greatest Fear #16: Face Paint

My Greatest Fear #17: Getting Attacked in the Shower

My Greatest Fear #18: The Sky Is Falling

My Greatest Fear #19: Broken Glass in Restaurants

My Greatest Fear #20: Dead Arms

My Greatest Fear #21: Chemical Explosions

My Greatest Fear #22: Garbage Bins

My Greatest Fear #23: Losing My Dry Cleaning Ticket

My Greatest Fear #24: Dropping a Baby

My Greatest Fear #25: The Key Breaking Off in the Lock

My Greatest Fear #26: Pulling a “Memento”

Your Greatest Fear #27: Butt-Dialing After Trash-Talking

My Greatest Fear #28: Spitting My Drink All Over a Date

My Greatest Fear #29: Accidentally Dialing 9-1-1

My Greatest Fear #30: Spraying Myself in the Eyes with PAM

My Greatest Fear #31: Causing a Car Accident with a Sneeze

My Greatest Fear #32: Drowning in My Sleep

My Greatest Fear #33: That I Can Smell Toxic Odorless Gases and I’M SMELLING ONE RIGHT NOW

My Greatest Fear #34: Getting Stuck with a Full Bladder

My Greatest Fear #35: That the Laptop Is Still on After You Close It

My Greatest Fear #36: That the Awesome Guest Star Won’t Become a Series Regular

My Greatest Fear #37: Passing Out from Exhaust Fumes Inhaled While Cleaning Snow Off My Car

My Greatest Fear #38: Staining My Dress Pants the Day After I Get Them Back from the Dry Cleaners

My Greatest Fear #39: Doing the One Thing You Absolutely Must Not Do

My Greatest Fear #40: Having 21 Items in the “20 Items or Fewer” Checkout Lane

My Greatest Fear #42: Cutting Off Circulation in My Finger While Flossing and Losing the Finger

My Greatest Fear #43: My Greatest Childhood Fear

My Greatest Fear #44: The Copy Machine Light

My Greatest Fear $45: Misleading a Police Officer

My Greatest Fear #46: Missing 2 Minutes of a Movie to Go to the Bathroom Even If My Bladder Will Explode

My Greatest Fear #47: Forgetting to Go Invisible After Finishing an Instant-Message Conversation

My Greatest Fear #48: Getting a Potato Chip in My Eye

My Greatest Fear #49: All Comment Notifications Sent to Spam

My Greatest Fear #50: Spraying Toilet Water in My Eyes

My Greatest Fear #51: When You Accidentally Adjust a Setting in Your Car but Can’t Figure Out What You Changed

My Greatest Fear #52: Being Unable to Open a Jar

My Greatest Fear #53: Driving Without a License

My Greatest Fear #54: Laughing Out Loud During a Moment of Silence

My Greatest Procrastination: Shampooing My Car

My Greatest Sloth

My Greatest Joy

My Greatest Shame

My Greatest Shame Part 2: The Plunger

 

The Best Maps of the US

#1: Lorena’s Map

#2: John’s Map

#3: Amanda’s Map

 

Polls

Posts I’ve Never Posted

What Are You Allowed to Do at Your Bachelor Party?

Results

Phoning in from the Bathroom

New Format?

Salma Hayek vs. Penelope Cruz

The Winner

The Hottest Animated Disney Male

The Winner

The Hottest Animated Disney Female

The Winner

Best Lines from This Blog

“For true awkward-off masters, the combination growl/eyelash flutter can be a useful weapon. I’ve never seen someone abdicate an armrest faster than when I simultaneously rolled my arm on top of his, turned with a vicious, yet loving stare, and growled as my eyes offered him “butterfly kisses”. Needless to say, not only was the remainder of the flight quiet, but he scooted so far away from the middle armrest that the farside armrest left an imprint on his ribcage.” (Trevor, in response to Armrest Rules on Airplanes)

“Far too much time and energy is being wasted on trying to create pills that make flatulence smell like apple pie when the market clearly shows that public demand favors cinnamon rolls. Government funds MUST be redirected away from apple pie smelling farts to cinnamon roll smelling farts!” (Bryce, in response to Who the Hell Is Nancy? Part 3)

“I’m considering starting a pyramid scheme that involves actually building a pyramid.” (Jamey, in Random Irruminibble)

“It would be awesome to have someone follow me around all day and record everything I said and everything that was said to me. The transcript would be extremely useful for playing back conversations between Caroline and me so that we could know who was right or wrong: “May I refer to June 13, 2006, when you stated—with no intended sarcasm or irony—that if you ‘ever don’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign,’ you’ll ‘sever your own arm and give yourself the finger.’” (Jamey, in The Court Reporter for My Life)