Posts Tagged ‘greatest fear’

My Greatest Fears When Getting a Massage

My Greatest Fears When Getting a Massage

10 months ago, I had the painful experience of my life: A non-stop series of neck spasms that shot daggers through my body, rendering me immobile for hours. Fortunately, I healed, and the spasms haven’t returned. But recently I’ve noticed an increasing tightness in my neck, and I’m worried that the spasms may return. So […]


My Greatest Fear #56: Putting Headphones on the Wrong Ears

My Greatest Fear #56: Putting Headphones on the Wrong Ears

A few weeks ago I was a guest on a podcast, and they asked me to use headphones instead of my speakers. I have a good mic that doesn’t pick up the speakers, but I didn’t know the podcasters, so I didn’t want to argue about it. So I pulled out my headphones. When I […]


My Greatest Fear #53: Driving Without a License

A few days ago I accepted a short-notice dinner invitation (Vietnamese food–how could I say no?) with a former coworker at 5:30 in the evening. The only conflict was that I had a teleconference at 5:00, so the call would likely begin while I was home and continue while I drove to the restaurant. That’s […]


My Greatest Fear #52: Being Unable to Open a Jar

My Greatest Fear #52: Being Unable to Open a Jar

There are certain disadvantages that come with (a) living alone and (b) having conspicuously weak wrists. Yesterday I had a fresh jar of Hacienda salsa that was asking to be sampled. But when I tried to open it, it simply would not budge. I tried all the usual tricks: I tapped on the lid with […]


My Greatest Fear #51: When You Accidentally Adjust a Setting in Your Car but Can’t Figure Out What You Changed

My Greatest Fear #51: When You Accidentally Adjust a Setting in Your Car but Can't Figure Out What You Changed

This happened to me, and it can happen to you. I was driving back from the grocery store today and needed to turn on my turn signal, which is done in my car (a Camry) by pressing down on the lever┬áto the left of the steering wheel. However, my hand clumsily knocked into the turn […]


My Greatest Fear #50: Spraying Toilet Water in My Eyes

My Greatest Fear #50: Spraying Toilet Water in My Eyes

When I was a kid, one of the weekly chores I had to take care of was cleaning the toilets. The method my parents taught me was to squirt cleaning fluid in the toilet, roll up my sleeves, and clean the toilet with an old rag. For some reason it never occurred to my parents […]


My Greatest Fear Guest Post

My Greatest Fear Guest Post

The other day I was talking with my friend Katy, and as she was telling a story, I realized that we had stumbled upon a perfect example of a “greatest fear” like the ones I write about here. I invited her to tell the story in her own words. Thanks Katy! *** My Greatest Fear: […]


My Greatest Fear #49: All Comment Notifications Sent to Spam

My Greatest Fear #49: All Comment Notifications Sent to Spam

This might be the very first “greatest fear” entry that was inspired by something that actually happened, and the fear persisted afterwards. Because this just happened. For real. And now I’m terrified it will continue to happen. An hour ago I refreshed my WordPress dashboard to see the latest stats. I happened to glance down […]


My Greatest Fear #48: Getting a Potato Chip in My Eye

My Greatest Fear #48: Getting a Potato Chip in My Eye

As I wrote about on a recent blog entry, I’m a little bit in love with Billy Goat potato chips right now. I only eat a few before lunch and dinner, so it takes me over 3 weeks to get through a bag. It’s been an amazing 3 weeks. I finally finished off the bag […]


My Greatest Fear #47: Forgetting to Go Invisible After Finishing an Instant-Message Conversation

My Greatest Fear #47: Forgetting to Go Invisible After Finishing an Instant-Message Conversation

Who would have thought I’d have 47 greatest fears? That can’t be good. I don’t like instant message for the same reason I don’t like text conversations: They end up feeling like a long series of interruptions. Occasionally I’ll chat with someone online via instant message or let a text conversation happen, and it’s not […]


My Greatest Fear #43: My Greatest Childhood Fear

My Greatest Fear #43: My Greatest Childhood Fear

Today I saw Monsters University, which was WAY better than World War Z and not quite as good as Monsters Inc (which is probably my second favorite Pixar movie after The Incredibles). Unlike the original, it delves much deeper into how different children are afraid of different things, and sometimes those things can be very […]


My Greatest Fear #39: Doing the One Thing You Absolutely Must Not Do

My Greatest Fear #39: Doing the One Thing You Absolutely Must Not Do

The cup of urine stared at me. I stared back. I knew I was moments away from drinking it. Let’s back up a little. On my recent post about beautiful places in the world, I mentioned the sensation you get when you’re on top of a tall building or cliff and you know that the […]


My Greatest Fear #38: Staining My Dress Pants the Day After I Get Them Back from the Dry Cleaners

My Greatest Fear #38: Staining My Dress Pants the Day After I Get Them Back from the Dry Cleaners

Confession: I don’t go to the dry cleaners all that often. I wash my other clothes on a regular basis, but for some reason it rarely occurs to me that my dress pants–which I wear several times a week–can get dirty. But they do. And then they smell of farts. Despite knowing that, usually the […]


My Greatest Fear #37: Passing Out from Exhaust Fumes While Cleaning Snow Off My Car

Last Saturday night, it snowed in St. Louis. I woke up Sunday morning to find my car covered with about 4 inches of powder. As I was brushing snow off my car (I brush ALL of the snow off my car, even the hood and roof. I’m always worried that if I leave any of […]


My Greatest Fear #36: That the Awesome Guest Star Won’t Become a Series Regular

My Greatest Fear #36: That the Awesome Guest Star Won't Become a Series Regular

Recently, something terrible happened on New Girl. Olivia Munn left the show. Granted, she was only in three episodes, but I love me some Olivia Munn, so to add her to one of my favorite shows made me a very, very happy man. But I was also a nervous wreck during those episodes, because I […]