Well pick up where we left off last time:

This post is for guys, so here's something for the ladies.

23. How to serve rice in a classy way. I learned this from my friend Eric. After you make some sticky rice, scoop it out of the pot with a quarter cup measuring cup. Put that aside for one second while you dress the plate with a fancy ziz-zag of sauce. Then take the measuring cup of rice, turn it upside down on the plate (square plates work best for this), and pat the top of it until the rice falls out. It’ll hold the shape of the measuring cup. Put a little sprig of something on top (really, anything green and leafy will do). Don’t reveal your secret.

24. How to laugh at yourself. Show your weaknesses, your indulgences, your mistakes, your doubts, your goof-ups to the world, and the world will love you for it. At least I think that’s what’s happening…

25. How to take off a bra with one hand. I may have put this on one of these lists before. I’m having deja vu. Regardless, you should know how to do this. I could describe it, but you’re better off looking on YouTube for a how-to video. And then practice on a willing subject. Use this power wisely once you attain it. Do not, for example, undo your girlfriend’s bra in a restaurant or at a dinner party while she’s at the table.

26. How to ask questions: Only ask questions about things you genuinely want to know. Once you start doing this, you’ll realize that there are a lot of things that you genuinely want to know, and they’re much more invigorating than all of those questions that you used to ask out of obligation or expectation. And you’ll get much more interesting, honest answers too.

27. Flirtation is the key to keeping chemistry alive. I’ve always wondered how I might be able to maintain a high level of chemistry with a woman after months or years or a lifetime. So much changes over time: Your looks, your personality, your interests, your friends, your priorities, your sleep schedule. But one thing that you have complete control over is how you flirt with your significant other. Make that choice every day. Flirt incessantly and shamelessly without expectation (don’t flirt to get something from your partner–flirt to give something to your partner…attention, love, a little hormonal surge. Any of those will do.)

28. Don’t complain on Facebook or Twitter unless it’s funny. This goes back to #24 a little bit. I would go as far as to say that this is a universal rule. It’s about more than finding a good way to engage and connect with people online. It’s also about finding a way to both feel your pain and find something lifegiving in it at the same time. Think about this the next time you have bad news or an annoyance to share on Facebook. How can you share it so that people will smile instead of taking pity on you?

How many of these do you already know and do?

The part that really got to me was this quote from Tebow:

Here you are, about to play a game that the world says is the most important thing in the world. Win and they praise you. Lose and they crush you. And here I have a chance to talk to the coolest, most courageous people. It puts it all into perspective. The game doesn’t really matter. I mean, I’ll give 100 percent of my heart to win it, but in the end, the thing I most want to do is not win championships or make a lot of money, it’s to invest in people’s lives, to make a difference.

That makes me want to root for this guy. It’s hard not to root for him when you find out that he’s doing these types of things before the game:

Every week, Tebow picks out someone who is suffering, or who is dying, or who is injured. He flies these people and their families to the Broncos game, rents them a car, puts them up in a nice hotel, buys them dinner (usually at a Dave & Buster’s), gets them and their families pregame passes, visits with them just before kickoff (!), gets them 30-yard-line tickets down low, visits with them after the game (sometimes for an hour), has them walk him to his car, and sends them off with a basket of gifts.

After I posted the link on Facebook, a friend contacted me with her thoughts about Tebow and other professional athletes. I thought the way she described the delicate balance with which she respects Tebow and yet does not like the way the media (and his fans) puts him on a pedestal was beautifully written, so I asked if I could publish her e-mail below. Here are Neha’s thoughts:

As is generally recognized, Tebow is not a particularly skillful QB. That’s not to say he lacks talent, or that he doesn’t display potential to become great, but if you compare him to other QB’s, his athletic talent doesn’t account for the immense amount of attention he is receiving. The attention is derived from his public display of faith, which is polarizing.

Personally, I don’t agree with the detractors who criticize him for displaying his faith. He’s religious, and that faith doesn’t leave him when he goes to work–ok by me. What bothers me are some of his supporters (and Fox News), who use his personal expressions of faith to their own end–as support for the idea that our country unjustly persecutes people who want to display their Christian faith.

For one thing, that argument is just not true. For another, it’s hypocritical where many (not all) of the people in that camp are conservatives who either support, or are not offended by, actual religious persecution (i.e., where are all the supportive tweets when schools try to ban Muslim girls from wearing a hijab?)

Back to the original point–Tebow’s fame is coming not from athletic talent, but from the fact that he exhibits the traits of a good man. Traits like those found in that ESPN article you tweeted. He’s generous with his time and money, he’s modest, he’s loyal to his convictions. I think that’s great. But does that make me a “fan?” No, because I don’t think he should be given more credit than those who also exhibit those qualities, but at greater personal sacrifice, just because he’s a famous athlete.

In fact, I expect athletes in his position to do the things described in that ESPN article. I think our society has suffered because in the last few decades, our expectations of our fellow Americans has just deteriorated. I don’t get all these articles praising Tebow for being a great role model in a world of Michael Vicks. Why are we comparing down?

Just because there are irresponsible celebrities, do responsible ones get extra credit? Shouldn’t it simply be that Tebow is behaving in exactly the manner we should expect of someone in his position? And when you praise someone for doing something they should be doing anyway, aren’t you kind of reinforcing the notion that the behavior is special? And when something is “special” how can it become the norm?

Tebow is generous with his time and money, yes. I know so many wonderful people who don’t have nearly as much free time or money as Tebow who do exactly the things for which he is garnering accolades. And these people do their good work, at much greater personal sacrifice, even though they will never receive public adoration or attention. And quite frankly, when they do receive notice, like on a 10 o’clock news puff piece, the public doesn’t seem to care nearly as much as they do when the do-gooder is a celebrity. Knowing that these people exist, I EXPECT celebrities who are in positions of privilege, to do good things–they don’t get extra credit for it.

Here’s why: I want celebrities to be fully aware of the fact that for the most part, they don’t deserve the money they make, they haven’t earned it, at least not by my standards. Our society has decided that actors and athletes are valued at millions of dollars. This is true, even though those jobs, relative to many others, are quite enjoyable and dare I say, easier than many others. Athletes love playing their sport, I think it would be sufficient if their compensation was that they get to do what they love for a living, have fame and adoration, a voice that can make a difference, and a reasonable salary.

Instead, Tebow will make millions, and ye teachers, public defenders, social workers, police officers etc., struggle to make a living wage and support a family. I expect athletes to recognize that they are lucky, that there is a discrepancy in their pay, that they don’t deserve to make as much money as they do. And that recognition should manifest itself in them being good people, generous people.

So in sum, I’m not a “fan” of Tebow because he doesn’t have the skills yet for me to admire him as an athlete. And I can’t be a fan of him based on his good heart anymore than I’m a fan of anyone who is privileged and recognizes that and acts accordingly. I do respect him, and think he’s a good man, I just don’t think he should get so much attention for it. Otherwise, instead of being the norm, he will remain the exception.

This is Jamey again. What do you think? How do you feel about Tebow and the way the media treats him? Should all athletes be held to a high standard of generosity?

Modern-day athletes continue to celebrate in unique and ever-changing ways. There’s the butt pat, the high five, the fist pound, the chest bump, the hug, the kiss, the double kiss, the excited tangle, the victory dance, the pileup, the headbutt, and the uniform tear.

I love it when athletes celebrate as long as they’re not directly mocking the opponent. You just scored a touchdown or a goal in front of millions of people–celebrate! Let us feel your joy!

But there’s one type of celebration I really don’t understand: The type that puts you in physical danger.

Some examples of that are listed in my second paragraph. But there’s one such example that has become extremely prevalent in professional football and basketball: The midair celebratory bump.

You’ve seen this happen. A player scores a touchdown. One of his team mates runs over, and the two players jump into the air and basically bounce off each other.

What?

Pretend that you’re a football coach observing this type of celebration from afar. You have highly paid 300-pound men jumping high in the air and colliding into one another, intentionally throwing both players off balance as they try to land on the ground. This is just asking for a torn Achilles or a strained ankle.

Is anyone else seeing what I’m seeing?!

I say let’s keep it clean from now on. Reduce the risk of injury and go back to the way the Romans did it. Especially if we’re talking about women’s beach volleyball.

1. Buy a well-fitting peacoat from J.Crew (and get it cleaned once a year). I have a very well-fitting peacoat that I bought in Oxford. I clean it once every two years.
2. Have a signature drink. Does Bud Select count? (seriously)
3. Own several pairs of dark-wash straight-leg jeans. I literally just bought bootcut jeans. I don’t like them bunching around the tops of my shoes. Damn.
4. Wait until all women have gotten on or off an elevator before you get on or off. Definitely. That’s standard Southern hospitality.
5. When you think a girl looks pretty, say it and make it about her (i.e., “You look so sexy in those boots,” not “Those boots are really cool.”) I like this a lot. Although I’ve learned that you should actually choose the delivery based on your relationship (or lack thereof) with the woman.
6. Avoid asking if someone needs help in a kitchen or at a party–just start helping. There are two types of people in the world at any given time (it changes): People who want to help and people who don’t want to help but want to seem helpful. Don’t ask. Just help.
7. Have one great cologne that’s not from the drugstore. I’ve been fostering Old Spice Pure Sport as my “scent” for years!
8. Your girlfriend’s sibling or parents might be totally nuts, but always defend them. Definitely.
9. Keihl’s for your skin, Bumble and Bumble for your hair. I had to look these up to make sure they weren’t a brand of washer fluid and some sort of bee excrement. I go for Aveno for the skin and American Crew for my hair. Both are a third of the price of Keihl’s and Bumble and Bumble, so they’ll have to do.
10. Guys only need two pairs of shoes: a nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors. I had to look up “Chuck Taylor” on Zappos. They’re Converse. And really? Low-rise New Balance won’t do?
11. Bring wine or chocolate to everything. Tough for me to think of because gifts are so low among my love languages, but I like the sentiment. I like the idea of being the “chocolate guy.”
12. Get a little jealous now and again, even if you’re not strictly a jealous guy. I’ve heard this before, and I get it, but it’s not easy to do. I’m not a jealous guy. I can pretend if it’s important, though.
13. Don’t shave your chest hair. This really seems to depend on the girl, but in my later years, I’ve noticed more and more women wanting the hair. So I keep the hair. Trim other places, obviously. No one’s stopping me from keeping my nipple hair under control.

At first glance, this is a fairly innocuous situation. But when you dissect it well beyond reasoning, you have a power struggle that has ended friendships, divided families. and started wars.

It’s all about the subtext. If you offer a friend a hug and they offer you a handshake, they are saying that the two of you aren’t as good friends as you thought you were. It’s awkward for both parties, because one of you is all “We’re BFFs!” and the other is all “Let’s keep this professional.”

Research shows that 79% of the time the handshaker will acquiesce and will be enveloped in a hug. This doesn’t just restore the balance; it moves the power over to the hugger. At that point the hugger is all “I’m comfortable with my manhood to the point that I hug my friends” and the handshaker is all “I should have just gone for the hug, and now my right hand is pinned between our chests.”

I would offer a solution, a standard for all dudes to use, but guys are stubborn, and I don’t think any of us are changing. My best suggestion is that both parties meet halfway and do a handshake hug. It’s professional and intimate at the same time, and both dudes walk away feeling manly. Because that’s the most important result of all.

But is that really true? Especially when we’re talking about mega-contracts, those that can exceed $200 million (spread out over many years).

Let’s start with the first claim: That family comes first. Of course that’s true, and I have no problem with it.

My problem is the idea that you need $200 million to take care of your family. If so, you need a new accountant. That’s an obscene amount of money. How much do you really need to take care of you and your family for the rest of your life and theirs? Even if you live an extremely opulent life, that number is far less than $200 million.

Then there’s the second claim: That these mega athletes are team players despite the mega contracts. I think those are contradictory concepts. If you really want your team to win, you should accept less money so your team has more money to attract other top-quality athletes. If a championship is your goal, why not help the team with finances by accepting far less than market value?

Now, that’s easy for me to say–I’m not the one having $200 million waved in my face. But it just seems hypocritical to me that mega-athletes claim that they’re a team player when their salary has a major impact on the rest of the team.

What do you think? This is your last chance to get those comments in for tomorrow’s Comments of the Month entry!

Oh, also, congrats Megan L. to for winning the Ireland blog giveaway!

I’ve been watching the show on and off for 7 years, many of those years with a few good friends when they used to live together (before taking the next step in their relationships). It’s the ultimate guy’s show–it’s about five guys (yes, Ari counts) who live it up in Hollywood. They try to conquer the world one movie, one drink, one woman, one party at a time. And they have a blast.

Although none of us are in show business, we used to talk about the idea of following in the footsteps Entourage gang and going to live it up in California for a year or two. Mostly it was just an idea, a pipe dream. But we’re boys–we build tree forts when we’re young, play high school sports with the same vigor as professionals, and do truly stupid things in college thanks to dares and challenges. The world is ours for the taking when we do things together.

So it’s with a somewhat heavy heart that I watched Entourage end today. It serves as a gentle reminder that I’m 30 now. I have responsibilities, a steady job, people and cats who depend on me (okay, pretty much just a cat). My friends have moved or gotten married or had kids. The dreams of Entourage have long since ended.

If the season finale has anything to say, it’s that although the world is no longer for the taking, there are some things that matter more than being on top of the world. We just have to have the wisdom to figure out what they are, the courage to act on them, and the constitution to follow through to the end.

Thanks for the memories, Entourage. You’ll be missed.

Like Sasquatch, I appear as a blur in photos.

Continuing where we left off with the last lesson…

20. You can order cocktails and martinis, but order them on the rocks. There’s nothing wrong with a deliciously fruity drink now and then. But don’t go for the Sex in the City look–order your cocktails like a man. In a glass. With ice. And drink from the cup, not the straw.

21. Here’s a simple trick for looking like you have a six pack without having to work out. This is a guy’s greatest loophole. In the summer on a hot, sunny day, do situps for as long as you can in one sitting. Then go outside without your shirt and scrunch up your stomach facing the sun. Your stomach will naturally fold into a six pack, and if you hold that position for 30-45 minutes, your tan lines will create the illusion that you have a six pack. Don’t tell women about this one.

22. When you play pickup sports (specifically soccer), don’t wear gray shirts. I play a lot of pickup soccer, and I’m bewildered by the shirt choices some of the guys make. Contrast is important–either have an all-white shirt or an solid color shirt so that people can tell with a single quick glance if you’re on the white or dark team. I see way too many guys with gray shirts that are completely ambiguous when you’re looking for a target. Same with shirts that have white and dark stripes. They’re a little better, but it’s easier for everyone if your shirt is solid white or solid color.

I do not have a Costanza wallet. However, I do carry something in my pocket of enough girth that I can’t keep it in my back pocket lest one of my cheeks look significantly perkier than the other.

Thus I carry my wallet in my front pocket, where it is just as bulky, but it doesn’t get in the way of walking or sitting down. It’s about an inch thick on a good day. So I’ve taken to leave it in the car while I’m at work, only realizing later that I need it.

Recently I decided to find a solution for my semi-Costanza. I heard about a company called Saddleback Leather, so I checked out their website this past weekend.

For literally an hour I flipped back and forth between two wallets: one that is similar to a traditional wallet, and one that is significantly different. It only has one pocket. No zippers, no flaps. Just a single pocket that retains its contents by the physics of friction.

After the lengthy deliberation, I decided to take the plunge. I mean, the worst that could happen would be that I wouldn’t like the wallet and would switch back to my old one (comments contest: Who can name an even worse scenario that could arise?)

So I took the plunge. You can see in the photo how thin the wallet is compared to my old one–and it has four cards that were in my old wallet. Tomorrow will be my first day with such a thin package in my pants. I can’t wait.

Short answer: No. You should be completely truthful about your age, height, income, etc. You should use recent photos that actually look like you. Be 100% open and honest, because when you go on dates, they’ll know if you’ve been lying.

Long answer: Still no, but it’s slightly more complicated than that.

I’ve had this theory for a while that I want to share with you. I got on Match.com in early August of last year. I was 29 at the time. I turned 30 in early January. My theory is that the number of women under 30 who have contacted me on Match has dropped precipitously since I turned 30, as if there’s a huge gap between 29 and 30.

Now, I want to say up front that I have no problem at all with older women contacting me. I certainly think there’s an element of me wanting to feel like I still attract younger women–that’s definitely there. But beyond that, age doesn’t really matter to me.

I didn’t think I’d be able to test this theory until tonight, when I realized that I could search my gmail for the word “winked” and find every woman who has winked at me on Match. So I compiled the data, and here’s what I found:

• The past year, 421 women have winked at me on Match.com, 220 of them when I was 29, 201 of them since I turned 30.
• This is somewhat irrelevant, but just to show you that the data isn’t skewed by me winking at every woman on Match, I wink at about 5 women a month on Match.
• The average age of women who winked at me when I was 29 was 27.84. Since I’ve been 30, that average has climbed to 28.16 (a negligible difference).
• The percentages show a slightly larger gap, but not by much: In my youth, 72% of women who winked at me were under 30. Since I’ve turned 30, that percentage has dropped to 66%.