8 More Things Every Man Should Know
This is an addendum to my previous post, 8 Things Every Man Should Know. 9. Never wear socks with sandals. Even in the winter. Especially not in the winter. 10. Leave a flashlight in the same place in your home. If the power ever goes out, you can use your distal memory to find it. [...]
Dating Primer: Who Takes Care of the Check?
You’re on a first date at a restaurant. The bill comes. Pause it right there. This is a defining moment of a first date. Both people have decisions to make, behaviors to pick, things to say. So much can go wrong (although probably not wrong enough to ruin the date). Here’s what I think is [...]
My Celebrity Five
Your celebrity list (I think the standard list is five) is something that a lot of couples have. It’s purely hypothetical: If you ever have the chance to sleep with one of the celebrities on your list, you get a free pass to do so from your significant other. I say that it’s purely hypothetical [...]
The Rules of Calling Shotgun
The whole concept of calling shotgun is ridiculous. If I ruled the world, I’d simply abolish it. Do people really care that much about getting the front seat? I mean, in the back seat you can just sit back there and relax and not have to do anything. Calling shotgun is just one of those [...]
The “Go Back to School” Girl
I’ve seen this girl on enough occasions that it’s time I talk about her. No, it’s not a girl I’m dating. It’s the “Go Back to School Girl”: You may recognize her from any number of websites with sponsored links. I see her the most on my morning NY Times e-mail. There, among a dozen [...]
Miss Alignment
An alert reader sent me the following question today, along with the awesome accompanying drawing below: “There’s got to be some term for the phenomenon when you see someone running with the pony tail, tight shorts, sports bra, and so on, and there is a tree in-between the trail and the road that is in just the wrong place [...]
The Ease of Modern Chivalry
Men probably don’t think about this all that often, but we really have it easy in 2010 thanks to the diminishing standards of chivalry. For this I want to express my sincere gratitude to modern women. 60 years ago, a man walking down the street with a woman might have encountered a puddle on the [...]
The Milk Seduction
A few weeks ago, I had a brilliant/ridiculous idea for getting the attention of women. In the movies (and presumably in real life), guys send drinks over to women at restaurants and bars. The waiter shows up at the ladies’ table, puts down the drinks, and points across the room at the guys. If the [...]
Who Is the Ultimate Man?
Over the years, there have been dozens of men who were the ultimate men of their time. Guys like Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds, and Bruce Campbell. But lately, thanks to a squadron of loyal fans and some very effective marketing campaigns, there are a few men that have become the very personification of the ultimate [...]
The Panties Poll
“We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, [...]
Two Women: Maybe They’ll Kiss…
Universally, men want to see two women hook up. I’d guess that such a large percentage of heterosexual men want this that it has to be in our genes somewhere. The “Girl-on-Girl” gene, or GOG. My question is, why? What is the evolutionary function of man’s desire to see two women make out? How does [...]
How to Host a Poker Night
On December 1, 2004, I hosted a poker game at my apartment. 192 games later, the game is still going strong. Over 65 fifferent people have played in the game–mostly regulars, with a handful of one- or two-timers. The interesting thing to me is how many people express interest in playing. I don’t advertise the [...]
The Nature of Male Toplessness
The other day, a female friend of mine asked me, “Why do guys find any excuse not to wear a shirt?” My initial response was, “Well…why would we wear shirts if we didn’t have to?” She replied, “That doesn’t answer my question.” She’s right. There are so many things that guys do without shirts when [...]
You Need to Rent “The Notebook”
Remember “The Ring”? That really scary movie that had people walking out of theaters literally thinking they were going to die? Well, I have a theory that the movie “The Notebook” is exactly like “The Ring,” but with sex instead of death. It’s the female Viagra all those researchers have been looking for. Just to [...]
7 Phrases Women Like to Hear
My mother, bless her heart, recently sent me this article as good blog fodder. It’s titled, “7 Phrases Men Like to Hear.” It’s not all that insightful into the male psyche, but a few are really good. I’ll recap here: You look great. I love your [insert body part]. I love it when you [insert action]. [...]
Is She Old Enough?
Sometimes I get deja vu when I start to write a blog entry. This is one such occurrence. If I’ve written this exact same entry in the past, I apologize. (Does that ever happen to you?) The other day I was in the Shangri-La of grocery stores, the Clayton Schnuck’s. It is a utopia of [...]
The Rules of Morning Breath
Morning breath is a fact of life. It’s inevitable, and it’s never good. Show me a person with good morning breath, and I’ll show you a well-written episode of Grey’s Anatomy. So the question here is: What are the rules for dealing with morning breath when you wake up next to someone? The key, in [...]
How Old Do I Look? (She Asks)
Tonight I was at a work-related party. Beer in hand, I was talking with a volunteer I hadn’t met before. I knew she had kids and that she had recently moved back from Seattle with her husband. I should add that she’s a very attractive woman. While we were chatting–I can’t remember how this came [...]
Cardinals Girls and Free Stuff
Thanks to my best friend Trev, I had great seats to the St. Louis Cardinals game tonight. We were 12 rows back from Pujols, right behind the first-base dugout. If you’ve ever been to a Cardinals game, you know who the Cardinals Girls are. Every few innings, they prance out onto the dugout to get [...]
Confession #13: The Freeze
Over the last six months, I’ve done some typical single guy things like going to bars and Vegas. Not a lot, but a few times. In doing so, I’ve learned something about myself: I freeze up at bars. I should say that my ideal bar experience is one where I go with a group of [...]
How to Be Unexpectedly Sexy
The other day a reader e-mailed me about a topic he had been thinking about recently. I don’t know exactly what triggered this question, but the reader was curious about if I had ever noticed a woman doing a fairly normal, everyday activity and found it unexpectedly sexy. The example he referenced was that a [...]
Vegas #2: How to Assimilate in Vegas
I did not assimilate in Vegas. I didn’t party, I didn’t gamble, I didn’t do anything crazy. The wildest thing I did was drink a mimosa at 10:00 am in the morning (to be fair, that wasn’t my last pre-noon mimosa of the day). I did, however, enjoy the people watching. Here are a few [...]
How to Play Fantasy Baseball Without Losing Your Girlfriend
A year ago I posted a version of this entry. At the time, I had a girlfriend; now it’s just me and my cat. Did I lose the girlfriend because of the way I played fantasy baseball? No–it was an offseason move. But this advice has withstood the test of time, and I think all [...]
The Men Who Stare at Women
Two months ago, I wrote a blog about the typical guy response when we hear that women are having a sleepover (Pillow Fights in Your Underwear). I attempted to address why we ask such a silly question and the best ways that women can respond to it. Another matter has arisen (both on Twitter and [...]
