Facebook Announces That You Can Now Like Likes
MENLO PARK, California (AP) – In a widely anticipated development today, Facebook announced that users will now be able to Like Likes, the popular form of showing agreement on the #2 website in the world. “For years now, Liking something on Facebook has been the way to say, ‘I like this, but not enough to [...]
Tim Tebow, Motivational Speaker
A few years ago, I applauded Tim Tebow for his charitable work despite my view of him as an overrated quarterback (look how that turned out). I’m sure he’s a very nice guy, and I really do think highly of celebrities who use their wealth and fame to improve the world. That said, I’m hoping [...]
How to Fake Your Own Death
I know, morbid title, right? I want to say up front that this is not something I’m considering. I mean, if I was, I wouldn’t be writing it on this blog. (Now I’m faced with the challenge of tagging this entry. “Humor,” I guess?) I’m not condoning this in any way. However, I had a [...]
Calling All Falconers
You might recall one of the top grievances from Festivus this past year: “My car was named “Best Place to Poop” for the third consecutive year by all birds, ever.” Yeah, that was mine. You see, a lot of the trees overhanging my work parking lot have berries. Birds eat the berries and immediately poop [...]
My New Lady Friend
You know how they say, “When you know, you know?” I now know what they’re talking about. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it here on the blog, but I got back on Match and OkCupid a few months ago. I got sucked back in by the illusion of e-mails from yoga-pants wearing women with top-notch [...]
5 Best Recent YouTube Videos
Mostly thanks to Facebook recommendations, I’ve had the pleasure of watching some absolutely brilliant YouTube videos over the past few months. For some reason they all seem to have disabled embeds, so I’ll link to them below instead: “Buttermilk Plays with Her Friends” – It’s quite possible that this is the best thing I’ve ever [...]
Movember Photo Update
When you last saw me, I looked something like this: Now here’s what I look like: True story.
Caption Contest: A Meme in the Making?
I know, we just did captions the other day. But if you’re reading this on Monday, November 12, it’s my best friend Trev’s birthday. Many of you know him as T-Mac in the comments, and you probably also know that Trev and his wife Laura became proud parents of baby William about a month ago. [...]
My Greatest Fear #29: Accidentally Dialing 9-1-1
I’m not sure if other people had the 911 talk with their parents when they were kids. Nor am I sure that my talk went anything like the following. In fact, I’m pretty sure it didn’t. But this is the impression it made on me: Dad: Jamey, your mom and I need to talk to [...]
Wedding Photo Caption Contest!
I know, you’ve had enough photos of me at my sister’s wedding. Last one, I promise! My uncle just posted this on Facebook, and I think it’s time for a good old fashioned photo caption contest. Post what you think I’m saying in the comments section. The funniest quote will become the permanent caption for [...]
The 5-Year Anniversary: The Georgia Peach
Today marks the 5-year anniversary of this blog. That’s right, I started writing way back on June 5, 2007. I didn’t think I’d write much, but within a few weeks I was writing 5 times a week. That means I’ve written about 1,300 blog entries over the last 5 years. I used LiveJournal back then. [...]
I Lived Through 3 Days Without Air Conditioning: A Survivor’s True Tale of Survival Against All Odds
You might think that a man who keeps his condo at 78 degrees year-round would not have an issue with a few late-spring days without AC. You might think that not having AC is fairly inconsequential. You might think that it wouldn’t be a matter of life and death, a struggle against time, cats, and [...]
Lionsgate Announces “Totino’s Party Pizza Hunger Games” Reality Show
HOLLYWOOD, California (AP) – Following the fastest box-office ascent to $251 million domestically for a non-sequel, Lionsgate Entertainment announced a reality-show spinoff for The Hunger Games set to premier in fall ’12. Although the show will not include any death or violence, it will otherwise follow the model of the competition described Suzanne Collins’ breakout YA [...]
The Tournament of Josh
In the comments of the Tournament of Awkwardness finale, a friendly war of words broke out between a person named Josh and a person named…Josh. As we all know by the rules of Highlander and Fringe, only one person of a given name can occupy the same space or the world will implode onto itself. [...]
Anatomy of a Cat Fight
Does this count as a blog entry? Walter’s on the left (new cat), and Biddy’s on the right. Walter weighs about half of what Biddy weighs (although Biddy has lost 3 pounds since I got him Walter as an exercise buddy).
The Friends You Don’t Actually Know
Today’s rare guest entry is brought to you by long-time reader and oft-honored Comment of the Month recipient Brad. He taps into the world that we all float through every day, the world of people we see day after day–maybe at work, maybe in the park, maybe in your apartment building–and yet never really know [...]
NewsFlash: jameystegmaier.com to Partner with Depends
How many times have you been at a baseball game, having a great time, and just as things start to heat up, you have to go to the bathroom? By the time you get back from the crowded, dirty restroom, the home team has hit several grand slams and your girlfriend is making out with [...]
Best. Prank. Ever.
I love a good prank. By that I mean: An element of misdirection. An element of confusion. No hurt feelings or physical pain. No major inconvenience. Here’s an example of a good prank I pulled a few years ago. But read on, because here’s an example of a great prank pulled on me last week. [...]
Google Books to Continue Scanning the World’s Printed Material with Personal Journals, Diaries
FRANKFURT, Germany (AP) – Eight years after Google initiated its Google Books project for the purpose of making the world’s books searchable in a giant online “library,” the tech conglomerate announced today that it would be expanding its capacity to include private journals and diaries, including yours. Google Library Search, as it was originally called, [...]
Swedish Director of Original “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Film to Remake American Version
STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - Niels Arden Oplev, director of the 2009 Swedish film “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” announced today that he was going to remake the 2011 American remake of his film back in the original Swedish. “Specifically,” he clarified from his perch on a fjord, “I’m going to remake the novelization of the [...]
Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 1-10
Here we are, the day of days. It all comes down to this. Thousands of behavioral psychologists have spent the last 72 hours poring over millions of grievances to determine the Top 10 based on humor, truthiness, and topicality, and in the end, my friend Neeraja had the dubious distinction of ranking them. Drumroll please… [...]
Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 11-20
We’re so close to the Top 10! Bryce had the dubious job of selecting the Top 10 through his Top 20 choices, even though it will be Neeraja who ranks them tomorrow. 20. The lack of book covers on e-readers: Can’t we see what trash you’re really reading? 19. People who constantly talk about their [...]
Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 21-30
Today’s grievance rankings are brought to you from Gabby over in DC: 30. Any item of clothing that requires ironing. Seriously, it’s 2011—everything should be wrinkle-free by now. 29. English has no word equivalent to Krummspeck (“grief bacon” in German). 28. Being accused of giving someone “a look.” 27. Q-tips, according to “doctors,” are really [...]
Top Festivus Grievances of 2011: 31-40
The countdown begins. This year I slightly changed things up in three specific ways: In past years, people have written down their grievances at my Festivus party on pieces of paper scattered throughout my condo. This year, thanks to my Whiteyboard (it’s a brand name, not racial commentary) and a white board borrow from work, [...]
