Pet Please #40: No Salvation Army
Yesterday I was about to walk out of the grocery store when I felt myself tensing up. Here we go, I thought. Time to avoid eye contact with the Salvation Army guy. Then I walked outside, and the space outside of the store was empty. No red bucket. No bell. No guy. He’s done for [...]
5 Odd Things for Which I’m Thankful
Here are a few odd things that I’m thankful for today: Rainy days. I actually can’t stand rainy days, but every rainy day comes with a free exterior car wash. That makes me happy. Evolution. Can you imagine where we’d be without evolution? We’d still be amino acids floating around in primal sludge! Take a [...]
Pet Please #33: Odometer Benchmarks
The other day I happened to glance down at my Camry’s odometer when it flipped to 110,000. I was delighted. It’s like I got to witness some rare, important event, like a comet that only swings by Earth once. And really, these odometer benchmarks are completely arbitrary (unless your warrantee runs out). It’s like New Year’s–flipping the [...]
Pet Please #32: The Solo Grocery Hike
You’ve had a long day at work. You forgot your shopping list, so you wandered around the grocery for what felt like hours until you had what you needed. Then the cashier hands you these pink grocery bags that support breast cancer…how? By making a fortune for artificial pink dye companies? You drag your three-wheeled [...]
Pet Please #31: Deliveries in Bed
When I was little, I often asked my parents for a drink of water after they had tucked me into bed. It was the best. It’s not like it was even that hard for me to get out of bed to get the drink of water. But there’s something wonderful about staying snug and comfy [...]
Pet Please #30: Sportsmanship
I was watching the Rams-Redskins game this weekend, and at one point a Rams player made a good run that was ended by a solid tackle. When the Rams player tried to get up, the guy who tackled him grabbed his hand and pulled him off the ground. In a small way, I think the [...]
Pet Please #29: That Yoga Pants Are Now Everyday Pants
I’m guessing it happened like this: A few years ago, the president of each sorority gathered in a clandestine meeting (that, of course, eventually turned into an underwear-clad pillow fight). The topic of discussion? Whether or not yoga pants–tight stretch pants, usually black, sometimes with words on the butt–could be worn as pants. Up until [...]
Pet Please #28: Chocolate Chip Pancakes
My subject line isn’t long enough for the full pet please, so here it is: Pet Please #28: The First Time That You Learned That Chocolate Chip Pancakes Were Possible Do you remember your first time? I think everyone remembers their first time. It’s hard to forget. Mine was in Seattle in 1989. My family [...]
Pet Please #27: When the AC Clicks Off
Tonight I was lying on my little beach bed when the AC clicked off. Absolute silence followed. It was one of those moments when you didn’t realize how loud and obtrusive a sound is until it goes away. It was like I could think straight for the first time. The silence was incredible. Do you [...]
Pet Please #26: Random Hugs from Little Kids
Family reunions just aren’t the same without little kids. As my family grows older (and as my generation fails to reproduce), there are fewer and fewer little kids around. The youngest cousin at this year’s family reunion is 9. However, this year my aunt’s sister brought her son, a little 4-year-old named Alexander. He’s a [...]
Pet Please #25: Bikinis
I’m at the beach at Nags Head, North Carolina this week, so I’ll be blogging from my iPhone. These entries will be short and sweet, and perhaps riddled with grammatical errors I actually can’t even see the text I’m writing right now. I just want to take a minute to thanks the genius who invented [...]
Pet Please #24: Mothers
I fell asleep really early yesterday due to an awesome–but exhausting–wedding weekend (not mine!), so here is my Mother’s Day entry for this year. I titled this pet please “Mothers,” but really, the pet please I have in mind is more specific than that. I’ll explain. When I was little, I used to get migraines. [...]
Pet Please #23: Someone Else Washing Your Hair
There are few things in life better than getting your hair washed by someone else. And no, I’m not talking about the dream situation of having Salma Hayek wash your hair in her shower while teaching you to roll your Rs in ways you never imagined. I’m talking about the simple pleasure of going to [...]
Pet Please #22: The Parking Spot No One Else Knows About
Do you have a destination in your area that you visit regularly where parking is difficult? Where people always arrive at the destination and complain about finding a parking spot? But you smile to yourself as they complain. Because there is a parking spot that no one else knows about, and you just parked there. This [...]
Pet Please #21
Please excuse the temporary state of this blog. I’m in the process of moving to WordPress.org and adapting a new theme, which will essentially look like this. I will ask for your opinion on the new theme, but until it’s finalized, please hold your thoughts. I’m going to be up front about this: I don’t [...]
Pet Pleases #14-20
I’ve had the following pet pleases on my list of things to write about for a while, but I can never seem to get excited about devoting an entry blog entry to any one of them. They’re still worth mentioning, so I’m going to list them here. Trevor and Bryce get credit for two of [...]
Pet Please #13: Finding Your Chapstick
I’m gearing up for my annual Festivus party, at which many a grievance will be raised, so I thought it might be a good time to balance the negativity with a positive pet please. I carry exactly four things in my pockets all day: phone and chapstick in my left pocket, wallet and keys in [...]
Pet Please #12: Unexpected E-Mails from Old Friends
The other day I got an e-mail from an old friend, a guy with whom I studied in Japan, completely out of the blue. Made my day. There were two key elements that made the e-mail so great: It was unexpected. It’s still nice if you see it coming or if you initiated, but getting [...]
Pet Please #11: Parking Meters with Time Remaining
It’s almost a pet please to find a parking spot during the lunch rush. So when you finally find that spot, you’re already feeling a little lucky. You fish out a few quarters and a mangy nickel from your center console and walk over to the parking meter, only to find… …that there’s time remaining [...]
Pet Please #10: The False Alarm
Tomorrow night, millions of people across America who have a holiday Friday will forget to turn off their alarm for the following morning. When the sun rises, millions of alarms will disrupt REM cycles. Millions of people will wake up to turn off those alarms, grumbling to themselves because they have to get ready for [...]
Pet Please #9: Nonsmoking Bars
Many of you live in cities where all bars and restaurants are nonsmoking. St. Louis is not one of those cities–not yet. So a true pet please for me is finding a fun bar that’s nonsmoking. A place in which you can breathe. A place where you can walk out of smelling the same way [...]
Pet Please #8: The Wave-In
You know what really makes my day? When someone turns what appears to be insurmountable odds into something manageable. Specifically: Every day when I leave work, I am faced with a solid wall of cars in bumper-to-bumper traffic on Forsyth. The nearby highway in St. Louis is closed, so everyone uses this tiny road instead. [...]
Pet Please #7: The Forgotten Milkshake Phenomenon
I had the pleasure of going to St. Louis’ shining star in the north of the city, Crown Candy Kitchen, on Saturday morning. The place was packed, and many people who were in line before the restaurant even opened were stranded outside for over an hour. As with any olde fashioned candy shoppe, Crown Candy’s [...]
Pet Please #6: Windshield Wiper Fluid
I don’t know how often other people wash their cars; for me, it’s about twice a year. A good rain keeps the outside clean enough. Like it or not, though, grime accumulates. It builds up so slowly that I don’t even notice that my vision through the windshield is become decreasingly worse. Then, usually by [...]
