Do You Try to Win Conversations?
Conversations aren’t battlefields. There aren’t winners and losers. But that doesn’t stop us from trying. Today I was having a conversation over e-mail with a few colleagues about an issue that arose at work. There were many different sides to the story, several layers of miscommunication, and dropped balls by several people. Overall, we were [...]
Serial Dater or Serial Killer?
If you’re a guy who has tried online dating, I almost guarantee that you’ve probably had a conversation like this by text or e-mail before the first date: YOU: Would you like to meet up for drinks sometime this week? HER: Sure, I’m free Thursday. YOU: Perfect. Do you want to meet there, or should [...]
Love, Fights, and The Office
Note: This contains spoilers for tonight’s episode of The Office. If you don’t watch the show, I think you can still connect to what I’m going to say below about relationships. This has been a weird and interesting final season of The Office. The boss has been gone for almost the entire season, Oscar had an affair [...]
A Guaranteed Soulmate
I just finished watching a really interesting romantic comedy with a slight sci-fi twist (keep reading–it’s very slight!) that posed some great questions that I will now pose for you. And myself. Because I write this blog. The movie, TiMer, presents the idea that (a) every person has exactly one soulmate, (b) every pair of [...]
Mars vs. Venus: Can Workplace Romance Work?
Today I have the latest in the long-running, multi-contributor series called “Mars vs. Venus.” In these posts we explore a topic (usually relationships) from the male angle (mine) and the female angle (in this case, Katy’s). We do not read each other’s posts in advance, so I’m just as curious as you are to read [...]
Relationships Are Just Like Soccer Cleats: A Life Lesson from My Father
The other day I noticed that a pair of my dress shoes had some deep scuff marks on the front edge. If I didn’t know any better, I might have thought about buying a new pair of shoes. That’s what we do, right? Something gets old, so we throw it out and buy something new. [...]
Can Introverts Love Extroverts?
A friend posed this question to me today. I had to ask for clarification–I’m sure many introverts fall in love with extroverts, and vice versa. She clarified that she is curious about whether or not introverts can show their love to extroverts. Can introverts–those who typically need a lot of time by themselves to re-energize, [...]
You Should Go on a Bookstore Date
Note: I don’t go into details about dates on this blog. Except for the really, really, really, really bad ones (yes, those are four different links). And even those I wait for months to share. On today’s entry, I’m going to talk about a recent date, but only in the context of this date as a [...]
Mars vs. Venus: Can Long-Distance Relationships Work?
This is a Mars vs. Venus entry, meaning I’m going to share my male perspective, and then at the end of the entry you can click over to my blogger friend Katy’s blog for the female perspective on long-distance relationships. I’m qualified to give the male perspective because I’ve been in a number of long-distance [...]
The Forgotten
Today I was in the area of a Lion’s Choice (it’s essentially Arby’s, St. Louis style) for lunch, so I offered to pick up food for a coworker. However, I got so excited when I saw they had root beer floats on the menu (they’re my kryptonite, if kryptonite is delicious and drinkable) that I [...]
Online Dating Bingo
Because I’ve been off the online dating circuit for a while now, I thought it would be a good time to post about some of those experiences. What better way to do so than play online bingo! If you’ve participated in online dating, you know what every first date is different, and you’re never quite [...]
Can You Be Judgmental About Judging?
I haven’t been a paying member of Match.com since January, but I’ve left my profile up because it links to my blog (always trying to find ways to get new readers in on the conversation). Pretty much every day Match will send me an e-mail saying something like, “She’s interested in you, and you have [...]
The Art of Flirtation: An Awkward Male’s Perspective
This is a Mars vs. Venus entry, meaning I’m going to share my male perspective, and then at the end of the entry you can click over to my blogger friend Katy’s blog for the female perspective on flirting. I’ve always enjoyed flirting, but over the past year I’ve had a series of epiphanies about [...]
How to Write the Perfect Online Dating Profile
I’m taking a little break from dating so I can focus on writing the novel, but out of curiosity I still find myself checking on my “matches” on Match and OkCupid (I’m telling you, online dating is very addicting). I see the same mistakes over and over in online dating profiles, and so I thought [...]
The Power of Surprises
I believe that there are two types of people in the world: Those who like surprises, and those who don’t. Of course, there are some grey areas. I like very few surprises, but I’m delighted by a Slurpee or cookie showing up at my desk unannounced. And there are people who generally love surprises who [...]
Week of Worst First Dates: Day 4
As you’ve seen, the dates this week really haven’t been that bad. Annoying, perhaps, but nothing that caused me any permanent angst. Today’s date, the final date I’ll write about, is the exception. To be fair, there are multiple things I did wrong with this date. A woman contacted me on Match from a city [...]
Week of Worst First Dates: Day 3
We’ve come to the blind date. The one, the only, blind date. A female friend asked me early last year if she could set me up on a blind date. She had a friend who wanted to set up her friend on a blind date, so there were two degrees of separation between me and [...]
Week of Worst First Dates: Day 2
My second worst date story involves a woman here in St. Louis. A rather beautiful woman, really. I was somewhat surprised when she started talking to me, but I was happy to go along with it. Let’s call her Barbara. We had a great rapport going–lots of long e-mails that varied between flirty and funny [...]
Week of Worst First Dates: Day 1
As a special Christmas gift to you, dear reader, I have decided to share with you this week the stories of the 4 worst first dates I’ve been on since signing up for online dating. 4 out of 50 first dates from online dating really isn’t a bad number at all. And as you’ll see, [...]
Should Your Spouse Be Your Best Friend?
Before I get off the Mindy Kaling train, I want to mention one other concept she wrote about that I really connect with. It’s the idea the best marriages are when the husband and wife are pals but not best friends. A few months ago, I was e-mailing with a woman who said she wanted [...]
Relationships Should Have an “Undo” Button
The two greatest innovations of the last 20 years are almost identical: The “undo” button in Microsoft Word and the 6-second rewind button on the TiVo remote control. Why have modern relationships not caught up with modern technology? I’m writing this post now because I’m not dating anyone, and thus I can safely discuss oops [...]
Do Common Interests Matter?
“What really matters is what you like, not what you are like… Books, records, films – these things matter.” –John Cusack, High Fidelity You like U2, but she likes Garth Brooks. You like Star Wars, but she likes 27 Dresses (or even worse, Star Trek [kidding!]). You like football, she likes NASCAR. You like The [...]
The 7th Love Language
A while ago, I wrote a post about the 5 love languages. At the end of that post, I jokingly mentioned that the 6th love language (one that is not officially recognized by the creator of the love languages, Dr. Gary Chapman) is chocolate. Through a number of discussions and experiences the last few years, [...]
How to Get a Man to Listen Instead of Try to Solve Your Problem
Sometimes I hear something (wow, this sentence started off weak) over and over again until I reach a tipping point of consciousness and decide I need to write about it. Today I have one of those things. Women Who Date Men, answer me this: Have you ever needed to vent about something to your boyfriend, [...]
